taking a break from your gf
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- Sven_sk0
"sucks. we just a got a puppy together to. i love that damn dog."
sick.
so it wasn't just oil and toys you pervs use in bed??
Crouwel
(Jun 5 06, 08:05)LOL. :)
- barbtastic0
you will only find the answers to your questions if you REALLY give her space and get the hell out of there.
a house, dog, etc is no reason to stick around, it will only complicate things.
- Jaline0
3. that family problem you were talking about but i highly doubt that the case your dating her not the family vice versa.
depending on how the person was brought up and their personality, family could be a huge issue in many relationships. Not necessarily for sven though.
- mstrobert0
have you put finances, house, and your family issues before her?
if you want to stay together, fix things together ... sell the house, quit your jobs, all that shit is temporal
... but in the end, you do lose your identity a bit when settling into coupledom, but that's what its about, making a better whole than you were individually.
and yeah, i live in the burbs - house, dog, bills, wedding plans ...
but as stated above, it'll eventually work out perfectly (as long as you get the dog)
- sevenonethree0
otherwise you will sit there years from now and wonder if things could had been different if you took action and solve things rather than moving on.
sevenonethree
(Jun 5 06, 08:02)i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. i'll give her space and do my own thing and try my best to make it work but i can onnly wait for her for so long.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 08:17)yea, i'm with you about that. however while your doing whatever it takes, make sure your getting results and effort from her back. If not, you'll know its already over and its time to move on so then you know you gave it your all.
I mean yea its gonna suck cuz you'll be wasting time and losing that time to give yourself to breathe, but i'm not you and i dont know how important this girl is so just follow your heart and talk to her make sense of the stituation of why ya were together in the first place. and if space is really worth it to throw away 5 years etc.
thats my 2cents
- Sven_sk0
just remember there is still you to take care of too, and like jox said, this is your time to breathe and think about things..
who knows what will happen, but things will turn our perfect...i gaaroontee
Nac_part2
(Jun 5 06, 08:06)i concur
sevenonethree
(Jun 5 06, 08:09)those are the best words of wisom i have heard yet. thank you my friends.
- Sven_sk0
Sven_sk... seems you are not ready to let go.
barbtastic
(Jun 5 06, 08:16)you're right. i'm still madly in love with her and want to make it work
i'm really not ready to let her go but if i have to then i will.
like a said i was going to give it 'til the end of the month, keep my distance keep myself busy and go on holiday and when i get back if things aren't better, pick up the pieces grab the dog get a new place and start over.
- sevenonethree0
just remember there is still you to take care of too, and like jox said, this is your time to breathe and think about things..
who knows what will happen, but things will turn our perfect...i gaaroontee
Nac_part2
(Jun 5 06, 08:06)i concur
sevenonethree
(Jun 5 06, 08:09)those are the best words of wisom i have heard yet. thank you my friends.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 08:21)ya good stuff Nac_partt2, i mean when it comes down to it, it really comes to taking care of number one and thats yourself.
- mstrobert0
or,
call her bluff ... say fuck off, move out ... tell her she's not committed and the lot, and load up your car.
once her head stops spinning, you'll both be in a better place.
- sevenonethree0
Sven_sk... seems you are not ready to let go.
barbtastic
(Jun 5 06, 08:16)you're right. i'm still madly in love with her and want to make it work
i'm really not ready to let her go but if i have to then i will.
like a said i was going to give it 'til the end of the month, keep my distance keep myself busy and go on holiday and when i get back if things aren't better, pick up the pieces grab the dog get a new place and start over.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 08:25)i never get breaks cause how are things solved if 2 people are not communicating. giving space wont do ne thing cause the problem is still there unless it is talked out.
when me my gf go on breaks we talk the next day while the stituation is still fresh to work things out.
my point is reach out to her. communicate with her start over with her, do what you did when the "fire" was hot. cause i konw over 5 years relationships can get dull.
so ya do something new surpise her, do something romactice to show the love is still there and that no matter what the stituation is your there for her to fix it.
i dunno but crap we are designers be creative with the stituation blindfold her and surpise her into an airballoon ride or something.
- Tara0
or,
call her bluff ... say fuck off, move out ... tell her she's not committed and the lot, and load up your car.
once her head stops spinning, you'll both be in a better place.
mstrobert
(Jun 5 06, 08:29)I agree.
- Sven_sk0
"my point is reach out to her. communicate with her start over with her, do what you did when the "fire" was hot. "
so ya do something new surpise her, do something romactice to show the love is still there and that no matter what the stituation is your there for her to fix it.
sevenonethree
(Jun 5 06, 08:31)i have tried to talk it out and she gets frustrated and says i'm just not getting it and is adament on having her space and i have done all sorts of extra sweet and romantic gestures over the last week like i i spent $200 on flowers and have taken her out to dinner and cleaned the whole house top to bottom and had a lavish lunch sent to her work and she says they haven't gone unnoticed but that she just needs time
the airballoon is good idea though. maybe for the next girl.
- Nac_part20
don't try and surprise her or do anyhting extra special at the moment...she will jsut see it as you are trying to hard...and only come off as you are only gonna do extra special stuff when there is a fear she may leave...
just give her time... as lame as it may sounds...time heals.... ina hypothetical sort of way
- Jaline0
what Nac said.
but don't wait too long.
- Sven_sk0
or,
call her bluff ... say fuck off, move out ... tell her she's not committed and the lot, and load up your car.
once her head stops spinning, you'll both be in a better place.
mstrobert
(Jun 5 06, 08:29)I agree.
TaraTara
(Jun 5 06, 08:45)this is what i am planning doing when i get back from holiday at the end of the month if/when she is still on the fence.
i am going to go look at new places to live, find one i really like in the next two weeks, go on holiday, come back see how she reacts and then move out the next day unless she has resolved the issues that she is having and is ready to recommit to our relationship
- Sven_sk0
just give her time... as lame as it may sounds...time heals.... ina hypothetical sort of way
Nac_part2
(Jun 5 06, 09:08)what Nac said.
but don't wait too long.
Jaline
(Jun 5 06, 09:09)i am going to stick it out and give her space for the rest of the month, then i am moving on.
- Nac_part20
give yourself space too homie....
pride yourself on being able to focus on work instead of garbage that comes up in relationships
- joyride0
a lot of good advice in here. best is to take care of yourself. Honestly, i'm sure she's mean the world to you, but, they're so many great girls around. She's not that special... harsh i know, sorry.
Why are you letter her decide this? seems like your just going to wait until she says yes or no to how your life will play out. Thats total bullSHIT. I bet if you tell her it's over and you want someone that can be committed she will want to be with you. Don't let her back in. I know it's what you want, but the same stuff will keep happening. You'll see this sooner or later. remember, millions of girls out there. Go find one when your over this one. Until then, work on yourself... get a journal, write everythought you have down about the situation. I love reading mine from paste relationships. Nothing but pure emotion on a page. Even some tear marks.... don't tell anyone! But you'll be a better person, and happier in the end. honestly!
and remember, this is your life man, take control, confidence in what you do will allow you to do it.
- Jaline0
Until then, work on yourself... get a journal, write everythought you have down about the situation. I love reading mine from paste relationships. Nothing but pure emotion on a page. Even some tear marks.... don't tell anyone! But you'll be a better person, and happier in the end. honestly!
and remember, this is your life man, take control, confidence in what you do will allow you to do it.
joyride2
(Jun 5 06, 09:14)I agree! I too, have some tear marks on some journal entries, although I save the paper for only really emotional stuff, otherwise I write everything on my computer and back it up. Even if you're not a journal guy, it helps to put everything down somewhere, whether it be through art or words.
- joyride0
i am going to stick it out and give her space for the rest of the month, then i am moving on.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 09:12)seriously, go look at places now. and to drive the point home that your leavin, leave apartment guides around.
Don't do special stuff, space means space, step back from the whole thing. but be warned if you take 2 steps back, she will take 2 forward or at least 1. But really, you don't want that.