the worste thing...
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- kinetic
you've ever blurted out of your mouth at someone
i think mine was this time at a party in downtown TO. there was a shitload of people there and i guess we where a bit too loud. the owner's landlord came upstairs to try and quiet it down a bit and as she was leaving down the stairs i blurted out:
"you look like bill gates"
cause she did...she really looked just like bill gates. as soon as she said it i saw my friend keel over and grab his mouth in kind of a shock, laughter moment
and she says to me "thanks...ill be sure to write that in my diary"
it was at that point i realized she was a woman
- radar0
that's the worst you got?
- dinky0
i think if someone told me if i looked like steve jobs, i would be more pissed..
at least bill has full set of hair..
- kinetic0
let's hear yours
- plasticpluto0
i've done similar, only the woman looked like joe pesci.
and she was within earshot.
:/
- nocomply0
So this one time a few years ago we're pre-partying at my place before we go out.
A friend of ours is there. She looks really nice/hot so i try to give her a compliment. We've made comparisons of how she looks like Elaine from Seinfeld before, so I say "Hey you look really nice. Like Elaine from one of her hottest seasons."
But then I quickly realize that there's a lot of dudes around. I don't want them to think I have some weird Elaine fetish, so I quickly add.. "Not that Elaine is like that hot or anything."
Total diss to her. Came across totally not how I meant it since I was actually trying to give her a compliment. She wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I still try to avoid brining it up to this day.
To make things even worse, it was a girl I had slept with before, and she probably now thinks that I slept with her not because I was attracted to her, but just for the sex. Awesome fuck up. Go me.
- radar0
I've asked a woman how far along she was who wasn't pregnant.
I can't even begin to count the racial slurs that have been said at really bad times.
I'd say the best was a friend of mine leaving a bar one night saw 2 lesbians making out and muttered something like "that's sweet they are in love" no big deal. About a mile away at a stop light they pull up next to us and the bull dyke one tryed to buck on me and after her rambling for a second she asked me what was so different about the 2 of them versus me and my friend, and I said "the main difference is I'm not going home to suck my friends dick" - she looked shocked to say the least.
- flavorful0
I've said so many utterly despicable things to people that it's impossible to pin point the exact worst.
However, I'm venturing a guess that after this - you may feel you are going to hell just by reading it. And if you don't want to be offended, I do suggest not reading any further.
---
I was in a beer pong tournament, and made it to the finals. That meant there was a huge crowd around the table and in situations like that, I feel I am on display... to tell jokes.So the entire time, I'm reeming this kid who is on the other team. I'm making fun of his physical apperance, his hygiene, basically superficial things because I'm shallower than a kiddie pool.
To his credit, he is taking this all in good jest while everyone is laughing, including his friends.
I know of him, like I know his name - but other than that I just know where he is from, which is a town where a lot of my friends happen to come from. To be honest, I actually don't like him based solely on the jerks I know he hangs out with from back there.
I took the comments a little too far with the following, "The only thing uglier than that ugly piece of shit right there would have to be his mother. I mean dear G-d, just imagine the beard and gut on that bitch. You know he has to be an only child, whose father comes from a sperm bank because seriously who would fuck something that looks like that. I mean Jesus, he probably caused irrepeable (spelling) damage popping out of that pussy."
Now I know what you may be thinking, that's not funny. You're right. That is hilarious. I got the reaction I wanted, people are in hysterics. However, I notice the 'Whatever' grin has turned into a death stare. And I notice there are a slew of people who aren't laughing and are giving very shocked and 'NO' looking faces at me.
With a crack in his voice, and his eyes beginning to swell up he informs me his mother died of cancer a few weeks ago, and that I am a fucking asshole.
You could hear a pin drop.
So I tell him, "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry your mother couldn't live long enough to see her son grow up to become a miserable disappointment. In fact, I'm surprised she made it this far, if I was her I would have commited suicide after spawning something as ugly as that. What are you crying? Why don't you go dig up your dead mother and get one last hug in while her body is still warm, because no one else cares about you or what you have to say."
I'm not proud of this in the least, and to be honest the only just desserts I got was to see a grown man run away in tears while a lot of people I didn't like in the first place telling me how much they hate me.
I've had a lot of times that I could have apologized to him afterwards. It's only crossed my mind as something I'd never do though.
Shrug.
- Dancer0
I have called my girlfriend my EX-girlfriends name whilst in bed. She is now my EX.
That's it but hell I will never forget the look on her face
- dopepope0
flav, you must be from a very civilized part of town, cause around by me, you would have been taken down way before you would have been able to say any of that.
- flavorful0
Heh, Dirty Souf Oaklin in Pittsburgh isn't particularly civilized by I understand where you are coming from.
- st33d0
A girl at a fancy dress party I went to (gangster theme) turned to some guy and said,
"Wow, that fat-suit is really realistic"
And meant it.
But let's face it, he was one hell of a fat fuck after all.
- tank0
once i had this fight with a kid from school, so i literally threw trough the toilet room on the heating.
- didn't know he had a bone disease and even the slightest fall he breakes some bones...
..well you guess the result eh...
still feel bad about that one.that and i dumped a girl on het birthday.
- brooke0
I met Illeana Douglas last year at a film festival in Savannah. Was so excited, ran up & shook her hand & said to her:
"I think are you so amazing! I love all your work. Especially Grace of My Heart. It was such a beautiful film. I don't know anybody else who saw it, though..."
:(
- nooner0
damn kid. i would have set you up with a dentist appt before that last paragraph came out of your mouth.
- kinetic0
i met catherine zeta jones once
i asked her whose diapers she liked changing better, the babys or michaels
kidding .. would have been funny though