parents separate:
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- Jaline0
It's better for the child to have a happy, healthy single parent than have two parents who constantly fight.
- Jaline0
And yes, it's very hard for the child if the parents separate, but it may be better in the long run compared to having an abusive (emotionally/physically) household.
- GreedoLives0
Man, my parents split when i was 7, it was the hardest thing in the world. They asked me to choose who to stay with...and that traumatized me. How do you choose between your parents? They belong together, how do you seperate them as a kid?
It really rocked my little world, i stopped speaking and started wetting the bed...they had to bring me to a child psychologist to get me to deal with it.
It was probably the worst time of my life.
I agree it could be beneficial to some children, especially if the parents are keeping an abusive household, but mine were slick enough to do their fighting when we weren't looking or were sleeping, so we had no clue anything was wrong.
- jdcomba0
i knew two brothers, whose parents split after they both were out of the house, but apparently they had been having problems for years, but they just stayed together for the kids.
- Hym0
Here in Belgium politicians recently used a study that showed kids grow up as well in a single or 2 parent home as in a 2 dad / 2 mom family to allow adoption by gay people.
I don't know enough about pedagogy to make a judgement on that study (i have serious doubts about it's scale and period tho). But the point that it makes is that you don't really need a direct male/female example.
- JazX0
nice work pocho. my parents divorced when I was like a year old. pops was in the navy and in vietnam. never knew him much and he died a few years back.
not having a dad around will definitely make having lasting relationships with females difficult.
mrdobolina
(Jul 16 05, 06:37)sorry to hear that mrdobolina
- rise0
I think its wrong for the child to have to choose between two parents.
- spendogg0
What does this have to do with design? At least make your first PVN thread about something relevant to the design world.
- Jaline0
People shouldn't ask the child which parent they want to live with. There should be some other method for that, but does the child really want a court to decide for them? Maybe it would be better that way, since they wouldn't have to make any decisions.
Most of the people that I've known who've had a divorce have one child each. And usually the children choose one parent to be with.
- PonyBoy0
Enter response:
Hym -
I'm insulted that you even bothered to share that shitty study with us. That's another blatant example of science trying to demoralize and destructure.
Children NEED a family. Science doesn't need to tell me that a child is or isn't traumatized - tears are enough for me.
- rise0
Children need scientology.
- Lesk0
sometimes I think people are retarded! Like very, they cant add 1 and 1 together.
If everybody agrees divorce is bad, and that a child will suffer, now who the fuck thought letting gay couples adopt children was a good idea.
God burn in hell.
- Amen0
"What does this have to do with design? At least make your first PVN thread about something relevant to the design world."
spendogg
(Jul 16 05, 09:20)all of my firends i mention earier is a designer and artist. so i think it related to design yr own fcking life!
- usrper0
"What does this have to do with design? At least make your first PVN thread about something relevant to the design world."
spendogg
(Jul 16 05, 09:20)all of my firends i mention earier is a designer and artist. so i think it related to design yr own fcking life!
Amen
(Jul 16 05, 13:34)uh oh.... SPAGHETTIOS!
- Witt0
my parents used to tear the place down with fighting and shouting, kicking doors and tossing things to walls.
if you asked me 15 years ago what the best choice was i couldn't tell nor would want to be a part of it. somehow I forged a way to hang on.
But now i feel (for they sake) they should have tried to be happy with someone else. Although now i can attribute more or less guilt to one of them I love them both equally still and would no matter what.
Split kids grow faster, ihmo.
- Witt0
but i could have gone into drugs or some crazyness if they had split.
oh life. they have sacrificed themselves to me and i'm thankful for that.
i must pay that back with love :)
- Jaline0
My parents are totally incompatible for each other and fight all the time. It's mainly my mom. If you're hearing the fighting everyday, sometimes it just seems better to think about them not being together.
- Witt0
Here's my support, Jaline.
It's really tough to watch parents fighting and tearing themselves apart. I sure wouldn't do that if I had kids but i'm also sure they could have said the same 30 years ago.
Shit happens, but it is a part of our beautiful lives.
- Jaline0
Yeah, people always tell me that I'm just saying I won't fight in front of my kids and probably end up doing it myself. But I'd have to disagree. I wouldn't want my family to be fighting all the time.
- Witt0
I'm sure you wouldn't :)
But people don't get stressy without some reason. Have you tried to talk into your mom's distress?
Everyone has a way into conversation. It's hard but things get better after that.