transcendence
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- kingjulien
1.) Today feels like a Monday, but it's actually Tuesday. Wow, that's like, deep man...
2.) My dad, who I haven't spoken to since 1991, just left me a voicemail 10 minutes ago. He wants me to come over to barbecue and swim with his new family, which includes his cross-eyed wife (I'm creeped out when people can't look me in the eye), her gay son, and their 6 cats, who run all crazy throughout the house. It was strange to hear how tragic and broken this man's voice was, especially coming from a judge who's been a jackass all of his life. And yet, the only way I'm going to return the call is if I have MX's "cock" soundclip perfectly cued.
3.) I have this student who sent me a complimentary email last week about how much he enjoyed my class, how it changed his life, and how he wants to grow up and influence people just like I've done with him, and then, when he got a C instead of the B that he wanted, had the nerve to send another bitchy email asking me to recalculate his grade. This kid had an F going into the final, raised it to a 77 with an impressive 2nd half performance, and then had the audacity to suggest I screwed him over. If I could just backhand a few people the world would be a better place.
4.) Paris Hilton is engaged to some Greek dude with Austin Powes backhair , Katie Holmes is in love with Maverick, and Danica Patrick finished fourth at the Indy 500. Coincidence? I think not.
5.) Have you downloaded Stephen Malkmus's new album yet? It's beautiful...http://lmlyp.com/files/Face%20Th…
6.) Yesterday I put in an impressive drinking performance. At the end of the marathon, my buddy and I stopped for pizza. In the middle of receiving our slices, my friend starts lashing out at the lady behind the counter, saying she screwed up his order--that he wanted pepperoni instead of cheese, and also that she only put his slice in the oven for 2 minutes instead of the 10 minutes that my pizza received. It was one of those awkward moments where you just dart away from the scene--wanting to avoid confrontation because you're loaded and aware of what you're capable of. The girl behind the counter was fooling around and did mess things up-- somewhat--but certainly it didn't call for my friend's tirade. And yet it was kind of great too, this catharsis of spite and drunken confusion, and in the end I just sat in the corner and giggled while they figured things out.
7.) Friday my ex called to say she had sliced her wrist in NYC the previous Wednesday, which is ironic because that particular day I was in SF at the pysch ward with another ex, who got locked up for a similar incident. The possibility of this happening is beyond remote. Now she won't answer her cell and I'm left to worry what the fuck she's doing. In my mind this is the most selfish thing a person could do.
8.) I'm gonna write in lists for a little awhile. Please forgive me.
9.) If you were doing a photoshoot and suddenly the model asked if you could place a hog-tie in her mouth, would you get sketchy? Would you shoot something like that? Was I wrong to insist that she get the prints developed herself?
10.) I can't believe the South Park creators got away with a Hot Carl during the lovemaking scene in Team America.
11.) Do you really think the immunity boost supplements at Jamba Juice will keep me healthy?
12.) Seriously, can somebody tell me what it all means...
- ********0
you've got a few issues there, or else you have a great imagination.
- GreedoLives0
dude, go talk to your dad, even if he was a dick. he's prolly trying to set things right, give him a chance.
sorry about your exes, that sucks.
- version30
it means you spend too much time thinking and not enough doing and that girls have just as bad taste as men and they are also learning to drive better as we speak even if some still can't cook
- ********0
Consider your self lucky to be faced with these issues. It simply means that your alive. Enjoy.
- ricstultz0
Do you feel better now? good.
*slaps kingjulien on the ass.
Go get em tiger.
- ********0
the answer you seek is: flip flops
- kingjulien0
Ric, kinky, man, kinky...
nick, I'm going to start relying upon you more and more for guidance. thanks, dude....
- machito0
I am both amused and shocked. I never understood how people can spill their guts on a message board. Its not like Dr. Phil is a member. But then again it does boost my self esteem reading your about your life and enjoying the fact that my life isn't that dramatic.
Good luck and hang in there.
- MrRemote0
Turn down the suck, turn up the good.
- kingjulien0
Yeah, man, I guess it does come across as seeking some kind of compassion or empathy, but really, I'm just assembling some random thoughts and working on my writing and trying to entertain and/or amuse. In my own unique universe it's like holding a mirror up to the world and documenting what interests me, but again, I guess to some stranger it probably reads a little too emo. My bad...
- ********0
was that the same friend who got bitch slapped by the 52 year old asian lady bartender?
- ********0
kj, why do you date crazy women? sure, they're usually good in bed, but they demand too much work.
- ********0
KJ, I don't think it comes across as needy or emo-- it's cleared-eyed, humorous and detached enough to avoid that
- lvl_130
i was reading as if it was one of your stories actually. so i agree with what Rand said.
- ********0
What Rand said..
Yeah, I happen to like it myself. It also comes across as being honest which seems a rarity in here.
keep doing what you do.
- tkmeister0
sometimes we just need to let it out. be emotional, irrational and go crazy. that's life.
- shellie0
Cross eyed. HAH.
I don't know about the dad thing. You're either willing to let it go or not. Do not go expecting an apology, you might not get it.
- ********0
what's the punchline?
; )
hang in there kj. chicks are nutz, your dad has seen time pass him by and wants to make amends, some people just will never be satisfied and alcohol can always turn any situation into something you'll talk about for the rest of your life, or at least until next thursday. peace.
- ********0
I recently went on a date with a chick who's husband died in November. Talk about baggage!?!? I was like, your hot, but no thanks. Not callin' that number back.
- kingjulien0
Appendum:
1.) Thanks, Rand and everybody else. That's what I was hoping for, anyway.
2.) And no, it's not the same guy who gave Candy a hard time, but part of the same group of friends. They're an interesting paradox, and yet true friends nonetheless.
3.) Doesn't everybody have the capacity for craziness if pushed? And you really don't know how insane a person is until you're too deep to suddenly abandon someone you care for.
4.) Needless to say, I'm not the most together person either, but who really is once you strip away the facade?
5.) Aren't most artists oversensitive and prone to bursts of self-loathing and/or depression?
6.) I would still read this as a story and not like a confessional, even though I try to blur the lines a bit.
I'm off to do some work. Cheers everybody....