jokes
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- chubba
"A girl meets a guy in a club, takes him home and says "Tie me to the bed and do what guys do best!" He tied her up, farted, picked his nose then shagged her mate"
lame I know....
- ave0
A guy walks into a bar with 3 ducks. The bartender is kind of freaked out, but he figures "what the hell, it's none of my business".
The man with the ducks gets up to take a leak, so the bartender jumps at the opportunity to see what the the deal is with the ducks. He says to the first one:
"Hey there little fella, What's your name?"
Duck1: "Oh, my name is hughey!"
Bartender: "Well nice to meet you hughey, how's your day going?"
Duck 1: "Well I really can't complain, In fact I've had a great day, in and out of puddles all day long!"
The bartender then turns to the second Duck...
"Hey there little fella, What's your name?"
Duck2: "Oh, my name is Lewey!"
Bartender: "Well nice to meet you Lewey, how's your day going?"
Duck 2: "Well I really can't complain, In fact I've had a great day, in and out of puddles all day long!"
The bartender then turns to the third Duck...
"let me guess little fella, your name is Dewey?"
Duck 3: "NO! My name is Puddles, and don't ask me about my day!"
;)
- chubba0
HA
- unknown0
guy walks into a restaurant and takes a seat at the counter. behind the counter is a sign that says "hand jobs 10$, cheese sandwich 4$". the guy looks around and sees a lady working behind the counter and calls her over. she walks over and asks "can i help you?". the guy asks "are you the one that gives the hand jobs?", she replies "yes". so he says "go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich".
- unknown0
damn.. my bad joke musta killed this thread
- chubba0
i thought mine was lame ;)
- wonderwagon0
what do you call a blow job that last for eight days?...
...a haunika lewinsky
love,
w.w.
- unknown0
okay.. now wonderwagons got us both beat chubba
- chubba0
true
- Blofeldt0
A young lady is queuing at the checkout of a super market.
The young man is behind her peers into her trolley and spies,
1 packet of biscuits
1 Indian meal for one
1 tin of sardines
1 personal portion of flavoured noodles
1 set of ladies razors (pink)
1 toilet roll
1 small box of tea bags
1 pack of yoghurts (low fat)
1 Chinese meal for one
1 TV guide
A small tube of toothpaste
A single packet of bacon
six Pot pastas (slimmers)and
One pint of milk.
In his basket he has
Six cans of Stella and
12 Wagon WheelsSmiling he says to the young woman
"single?""Why yes." she answers coyly
"How could you tell?"He replies
"Because you're a minger."
- joyride0
Pretty sick but funny...
Whats the best part of taking a shower with a 12 year old girl??
When you slick her hair back she looks 7!
haha
- unknown0
that is so wrong, yet inside I'm giggling...don't tell anyone.
- shant0
two penguins are sitting in a bathtub.
first penguin says "hey, could you pass the soap?"
second penguin says "holy shit a talking penguin!"