2024 predictions
Out of context: Reply #33
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- face_melter3
Stories that will appear in the WaPo and Guardian this year:
Putin reveals he is a clone and the OG Putin is locked in cryogenic stasis in a facility near Baikonur. Russian scientists perfected the technique of creating personality constructs that can be mapped onto so-called 'blank slates'. This is the eleventh Putin iteration so far. They also revealed that multiple Putins operate, in secret, all over the globe and are already fucking your wife, talking loudly on public transport, hiding under your bed, moving into nice neighbourhoods and lowering the property prices, and denying you that promotion you thought *you* deserved.
China will push a new policy which mandates every home be rebuilt in the shape of Glorious Leader Xi Jinping's handsome and manly visage. Praise be upon him and may his shining light guide you.
Also China will totally collapse this year. Trust me bro.
North Korean will entirely flip over on its axis, ala Fortnite, and start again from Year Zero. Kim Jong Un appears in Vogue in outfits designed by an AI version of Alexander McQueen and Juche fever (finally) sweeps the globe.
- thanks. these are the predictions the world was really waiting for :))sted