Punches For:

Out of context: Reply #3071

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  • jagara11

    Hard, well-trained MMA-champion punches for this:

    ● I exit my apartment using the back door.

    ● I walk down the stairs. Uh oh. There is a strong smell.

    ● On the landing between two floors, there is a fresh-looking puddle of diarrhea. I'd say 15inches / 40cm in circumference. Some bits of corn in there (really). It's been dripping down the first stair too. I assume it's dog diarrhea, as it's not a neighborhood where homeless people frequent our locked back entrance.

    ● I decide to find the culprit, meaning the owner. The dog is innocent.

    ● I live on the top floor, with 4 apartments. I assume no one walks UP THE STAIRS WITH THEIR DOG, leaving a puddle of shit, and then back down. It must be a top floor resident. I don't have a dog, neither does my neighbor. Behind entrance number 3 there is a young woman, who I assume wouldn't have a big dog capable of producing shit puddles this size. I deduce it's door number 4, because I'm totally Sherlock Holmes.

    ● I go down to the front entrance, call the apartments intercom. Some dude answers.

    Me: (sounding cheerful) "Hi! Do you have a dog?"
    Him: (awkward pause) "Uh, Yes?"
    Me: "Did your dog shit all over the back stairs?"
    Him: (awkward pause) "Uhhhhh... no. But, um, I can go remove it, if you want me to."
    Me: (sounding cheerful) "Aw, you'd do that? That'd be nice!"

    ● I love that he denies it, and "offers" to clean it up anyway.

    ● Fucking douchebag asshole. He did clean the stairs, though.

    jagara 11Permalink
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    • Win of the day post.Wordsworth
    • punches pulled for the clean up?hans_glib
    • Just one punch, then.jagara
    • Are you sure it wasn't the dogs owner?Akagiyama
    • that sounds like a perfectly reasonable British conversation.maikel
    • The sun never shits on the British Empire.CyBrainX
    • @maikel hehe - Copenhagen, Denmark. Maybe we Danes are similarly conflict averse. I actually tried fucking with him with the cheerful tone :)jagara
    • i enjoyed this postHAL9001
    • post of the day indeedmaquito
    • Use of bullets is on purposemisterhow
    • Perhaps he wasn’t lying. Dogs do not usually eat corn.monNom
    • The dog:
      https://i1.sndcdn.co…      sted
    • Now you have a buddy in the house who cleans up dogshit, I would ask first if this was the first time, or it is a habit of his.sted
    • Whatever the answer, the conversation should end with you making sure he understands thatnext time there is dogshit in or around the house you know who to call.sted
    • Just to make sure shit on the stairs tomorrow. If he still cleans it up it wasn't his dog.palimpsest
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