Punches For:
Out of context: Reply #2042
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- Nairn13
Me, last night.
I opened the fridge and out slid a pack of raspberries that plummeted to the floor, violently disgorging its contents right onto a mousetrap I'd just put there, exploding the trap and a number of raspberries, resulting in what looked like quite a horrific scene.
This isn't what requires the Punches For - I'd not precariously perched the Raspberries where they fell from, so Not My Fault.
Angered by this sudden and calamitous infliction upon my peace, I slammed the fridge door shut and set about cleaning up the mess, quietly cursing my partner's haphazard positioning under my breath. I then did the dishes and went to change the child to put her to bed. Partner had been staying in the bedroom to feed her milk to try and knock her out.
I return to the kitchen to finish tidying up and put some food in the fridge. When I opened it up I stared in blank confusion at the scene that greeted me. It sort of reminded me of my drug taking days when it was impossible for me to fathom what on Earth I was looking at. Or my future days when I'm having a stroke and am staring perplexed as to what the fuck a hairbrush is.
Everything was white. As I resolved further, it appeared that everything was covered in a gloopy white mess and... oh fuck.
A tub of double cream that had been in the fridge door and didn't have a secure top had exploded when I slammed it, splaying contents every-fucking-where, and because I hadn't noticed for 20-odd minutes, had then dripped and oozed into every nook which hadn't been initially splattered.
This is at the end of my daughter's first birthday. The remnants of her first birthday cake were in a cake box on the bottom shelf. The outside, and indeed the inside of this box were covered in cream. The vegetable drawer was filled with cream. My precious fucking Lurpak was covered in cream. The posh cheese from Neal's Yard was covered in cream. Just every-fucking-thing is covered in fucking cream.
I spent the next 25 minutes furious and furiously cleaning up, hoping to somehow hide the evidence of my total fuck up before my partner came back in, which of course I didn't manage. In fact, she didn't manage to get the little bastard to sleep so came in pleading with me to 'bounce her' (as in in my arms gently as i pace around the bedroom, not hard against the floor like outside a club) only to be met with a scene of devastaion, at the centre of which is my daughter's ruined first birthday cake.
An excellent end to the day.
- Oh shit that was long, sorry.Nairn
- No sorries. It's those tiny bits of chaos that are the spice of life.garbage
- Hahaha life.monospaced
- oh wow, much recognitionhans_glib
- Dolla-dolla bill y’all!HijoDMaite
- I cleaned my Fridge last night, so nice, like new... Thoughts and Prays for you.shapesalad
- tbf, it was a good opportunity to have a clear out. it just could have been better timed, is all.Nairn
- Hehe... After reading only the first two paragraphs I knew this was writen by you Nairn. Oh, and I'm sorry for you ;)OBBTKN
- Brazzersaslip
- @aslip - there was a broccoli floret on the top shelf (why?) that was splattered in cream - gotta say, it did look a little sexual. weirdly so, obviously. alienNairn
- @OB - it's amusing to me now, but i was livid at the time. I'm definitely dying by 50. Not sure my heart can take the life-rage it's regularly inflicted with :)Nairn
- lol, you can't imagine how chaotic my daughters' growth has been... a cider, and keep enjoying it!OBBTKN
- Glad to see I'm not the only one who acts not like a buddhist monk when shit like this happens. I try to. But I don't.stoplying
- Upvoted!Bennn
- If someone had asked me; guess what's in Nairn's fridge, not sure I'd have gone for Raspberries + cream. No offence :)Fax_Benson
- Classic.mandomafioso
- https://media.giphy.…CALLES