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Out of context: Reply #67049
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- capn_ron6
my dad just called me and asked me if I have $1000. They lost all their money at the casino again. I have the money but don't want to send it to them because then i am just enabling. Watching my folks go down this road is so hard. I am struggling to make the call to ask them if i can pay some bills rather than send them actual money. He asked if I would take money out of my credit card for them. I don't have any credit cards anymore because i don't want to be in debt ever. not a happy Friday like it is supposed to be.
- :(monospaced
- don't do it. not your problem. gambling addictions are no joke, dont let them bring you downpockets
- I agree pockets. I am just wondering if helping with some bills is any better than sending straight cash. I guess they are both enabling ultimately.capn_ron
- tell them they have gambling issues that are effecting you and they need help. don't pay for anything, you'll be aiding their addictionpockets
- fuuuuuuck... thats brutal capn. if you give them that 1k they'll head back to the casino to try and recoup their losses.kona
- that's what i thought too kona. I am positive they are behind on their bills to. I agree with pocket though, even helping on the bills is not good. so torn!capn_ron
- damn :(GuyFawkes
- hardcore. Hang in there but don't give it.mugwart
- I made a huge mistake by giving my sister an obscene amount of money at 24 yo. She fucked me over. Then she died. Don't do it. Love ≠shellie
- I thought I was helping. Turns out my sister screwed over many ppl to the tune over over a million dollars. I promise you don't know the whole story.shellie
- Rule of thumb: Never give what you more than u can afford to lose forever. Never expect it back. After what I've been through, my max is $100.shellie
- Christmas present? Pay one bill under $200 (directly). That is very kind.shellie
- fuck, man... parents or not... do NOT give them a dime and hang up on them if they go all emotional... time to put your foot down as you're now the parent :(PonyBoy
- Fuck :/notype
- Sorry to hear Ron :(. Like many others have said, hold strong and don’t give them anything. Fuck, that sounds like a horrible position to be in.hold strong dudelvl_13
- Damn, pay their utilities, get them gift card for food, gas, but not cash...robotron3k
- gift cards are often sold second hand, not a bad idea, just saying..sofas
- rough, man. so sorry to hear :( I'm with no cash payment, don't enable their addiction, and exactly what @robo said.helloeatbreathedrive
- good idea robo.
colin have you listened to https://www.youtube.…notype - my mother suffered from a gambling addiction when i was a kid. listening to Gabor Mate help me understand what she was dealing w/ growing up. Could help younotype
- help them (not sure). sending good vibes. congrats on almost paying off CCsnotype
- How's it going?mugwart
- Thanks all, i am not sending them any money. I am keeping to my own word to myself to hold strong. I feel like the parent now for sure. I am concerned, but knowcapn_ron
- that sending cash is not the right answer. I mentioned paying a bill but haven't heard anything back. I want to pay it directly if i do.capn_ron
- I'm pretty sure my dad has just given up. Back to drinking and heavy gambling. Now I think my mom is gambling to cope with him. So terrible.capn_ron
- parents or not... it's tough love time, man :( Honestly—even food and bills I'd avoid... it's not mean OR cold to do so... it's actually loving.PonyBoy
- These are grown fucking adults, cap... not younger siblings etc... ... I just can't see a reason to give in and even feed them... I'd be demanding more...PonyBoy
- ... of the people whom brought me in this world... but that's just me. I wish you best, dude... ... not an easy situation for sure. <3PonyBoy
- I hear you Pony. Thanks for the thoughts. I do feel like anything is enabling, but they are my folks. I just don't know if I can watch them lose everything.capn_ron
- Maybe you can look into getting them help for their addiction(s). At this point, it's as bad as abusive alcoholism, and there are gambling addiction groups.monospaced
- Thing is, if they're asking you for a $1,000 cash advance and they're behind on bills, they may have already lost everything. Time to get real with them.monospaced