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Out of context: Reply #66910
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- detritus1
@mg33 - when I was about 20 or so I was around at a friend's place having a heavy smoking session - quite stupidly whilst I had quite a 'productive' cold, so was hocking large glutinous blobs of phlegm into a Red Bull can (so, quite definitely a twenty-something...).
I'd been doing this all afternoon, so by evening there was quite a weight of phlegm in the can, mixed up with a small percentage of stinky-sweet Red Bull.
One of my best friends was going through a bit of a .. well, 'strange' time in his life, so came visiting the house shit-faced drunk, rowdy and frenetic. In sum, a complete pain in the arse. He wasn't in a good place, in his defence.
So he comes in and threatens to eat my friend Carmen's goldfish, going so far as to grab it by the tail and dangle it above his gaping mouth, to which Carmen wasn't particularly pleased. He didn't commit, thankfully, so dropped the little fish back in its bowl. The he spied my can of Red Bull, and before anyone could say anything, grabbed at it and glugged heartily.
This glugging lasted about 2.5 microseconds before he realised something was very seriously amiss, he threw the can down, retched like he was about to invert, then chundered my room-temperature massing of Red Bull-sweetened phlegm across a table and, sadly, Carmen, before running to the bathroom to be wholly and utterly sick.
It's in my top ten funny moments in my life and any time it comes up in conversation with him, some primal memory comes back and he winces and starts retching.
So fucking funny.
Anyway, a spitoon's probably a better bet tham an old drinks can.