dad questions

Out of context: Reply #5

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  • renderedred-2

    for many reasons i bid my children "goodbye" the day they were born. they are mine, yes i love them, but if you build up more than a simple and friendly relationship with your children first of all they will suffer and grow up suffering and you will suffer too.
    children are independent people do not forget that, as much as you do provide for them, love them, etc. what i wanted for my children was one simple thing, absolute freedom. freedom to learn on their own, deal with things and ask for help when they need it. i admit i failed at that and agonize over it more than anything else most of the time.
    it my sound unorthodox to some, but children are NOT pets. they are NOT your private project. again, they are people. they need to develop on their own. with your help but on their own.

    P.S. and, yes, don't tell their mothers about what you're thinking like i did. ;) in most cases that can and will lead to a disaster. mothers are fierce and very judgemental when it comes to children...

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    • wow... how odd.cruddlebub
    • They're an extension of you 'til they begin to outgrow you. Starting off as you are is... cold. Alien. And I'm a Brit who went to a boarding school...detritus
    • cold indeed...cruddlebub
    • then why have children if you can't be there for them? sounds to me like you were the irresponsible one. way to scar those kids for life.sea_sea
    • i know it sounds odd and cold. but that's my advice on dads'n'stuff. all the mayhem and anarchy was ok until kids came. i grew up that way,renderedred
    • with anarchist parents and always felt it worked out good for me as well as my siblings.renderedred
    • and, yes, i love children and mine in particular. i just don't make a fuss about it. children are your friends.renderedred
    • if its how you were brought up didn't you think it was cold etc? and if you did why would you do this to your own? doesn't make sense!cruddlebub
    • i never thought it was "cold". for real. but it is different. i realise that, i've been told it's brutal even. so "cold" is fine :)renderedred
    • seriously, we fight and love like everybody else just in a different way.renderedred
    • okay, i'm listening.. so do you interact with your children? or haven't seen them since? how do you know they are okay? seriously curious now.sea_sea
    • Someone's taking this shit too seriouslycannonball1978
    • < I disagree with this post.stoplying
    • referring to me cannon? i've worked with children in a professional setting most of my life, yes i'm curious to here about this.sea_sea
    • your child is not your friend till much much later. there is a happy medium between helicopter mom/dad and being irresponsibly negligentgilgamush
    • @sea_sea i do see my children and i don't. it depends on their mood and their mothers' decisions. i am not ALONE in this you know...renderedred
    • btw i did and still do stand by my offer of joint custody but all the mothers turned it down. money does great things to people :)renderedred
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