Accomplish by 40? 50? 60?
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- doggydoggdog
I'm 35.
I have a good job that I have had for 3 years and liked until recently. It took me a long time to get here, but it's the job I wanted when I was 20 for sure.
I had a lot of random and worse jobs along the way and missed out on or got turned down for a lot of opportunities too, as it happens.
I work with about 20 people and there's drama and ups and downs, like usual, but it's never boring and I was just there for the ride.
BUT recently, 4 people have gotten jobs elsewhere that pay more and quit. Not necessarily better jobs, but more money and maybe more flexibility. Or just different. So I feel like a sucker for staying and things are uncertain now.
Friends tell me I could be making more too and I've poked around, but don't really know another job that I want.
Maybe because I'm 35 and not 25 anymore, I feel more settled? Or been there, done that?
I want to make more money but I don't want to start all over again. All jobs kinda suck, or maybe I've never had a job I really loved.
- doggydoggdog1
I don't know what I want to accomplish any more, if anything.
I just don't want to really work hard and relax.
Is this something you realize when you hit 35?
- if it makes you feel any better I am 45 and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I just do things.. and time passesautoflavour
- you're on auto-pilot, get a grip
this is not wrong tho', just wasteful and if you think you worth more, do more
if not, chill and enjoy the ridegrafician - ^ re: to @autoflavourgrafician
- Best listen to the boy, autoflavour - he has a wealth of life experience that you're clearly lacking...Nairn
- I don't know if autopilot is accurate.. more I just follow the path the appears before me, and I do make choices, but they are rarely to do with my careerautoflavour
- but yep at a certain point the things you aspire to be, want or own become less important .. or less the focus I guess.autoflavour
- I used to get in trouble at school because I would never have an answer to "what do you want to be when you grow up" .. the teachers always thought I was beingautoflavour
- lazy, when in fact I tried very hard to see myself in a profession, but deep down inside I just knew I was always just going just exploreautoflavour
- autoflavour1
honestly, given the state of the world at the moment I would be holding on for dear life to any employment you have..
get thru the next 2 weeks at see if the debt ceiling passes..
and then see how the US reacts to FEDNOW on July 4th ..
turbulence incoming for sure..
- doggydoggdog1
As I think about it, a "career" seems like something I wanted and was told to have when I was in college, but now having done it, I'm ready to retire.
Am I crazy to want to retire at 35? Or am I depressed?
Most "successful" people, especially with social media seem to have gotten there through either a lot of heartache or sacrifice that seems unapealling.
Why is life so short?
- I want to retire, in 40s. But you can't unless you work and stack money into pension and investments. Just do all you can to accelerate the process.shapesalad
- grafician-8
At 35 you're most likely at half life, so just chill and focus if you want to retire at 40, a stable job is not really the way
Join a startup, get stock options, move fast and break things and maybe you'll retire at 40 a millionaire
that's the plan anyway and most people who want it will get it, not that hard
- also life is not short, I dare you to fill it with interesting and amazing experiences for another 30-40 years
that's the real challenge
chumpgrafician - move fast and break things!! The Disruptor!pango
- lol what a knobmonospaced
- also life is not short, I dare you to fill it with interesting and amazing experiences for another 30-40 years
- doggydoggdog2
I also may just be complacent.
Too comfortable? or bored? Or depressed? Or want a kid?
- doggydoggdog1
If I had a kid, maybe that would give my life purpose. It looks like so much fun raising a child and relearning the world through their eyes.
In my 20s, I didn't really understand why people were rushing to have kids, as I had stuff to do.
But now, I've done a lot and would love a little one to continue to explore with.
- grafician-9
also there's really 2 options if you want to "make it"
- earn more - by means of a high paying job that also offers stock options and a good clean exit (joining anything AI these days will get you at least enough to buy a house in a few years from now)
- start a business in a niche and earn exponentially more (even starting a newsletter and monetizing it will get you into 6 figures ARR easily if you're capable and experienced enough in what you do to share your shit)
- grafician-9
also another small thing to consider:
imagine your supreme future outcome, then build backwards step by step to your daily life
just build a plan backwards from the final outcome to your present day detailing how would you acomplish that, it's really that easy
ex: you want a kid, then imagine yourself being a grandpa and detail your plan on how you see your kid having kids, going to their wedding, birthdays, soccer, everything, then to college, first job, first love, teenager years, first everything - then think about if you really want that outcome ;)
good luck with all that dogg
may Uncle Snoop guide your path too
- pango5
- KNOWLEDGE!pango
- MULT-EYE-MILLIONNAIR...Ianbolton
- what happened to this guy?shapesalad
- mentor my ass. People being stupid as fuck to pay this cunt money to listen to his scam bullshit to by himself a lambo.milfhunter
- buymilfhunter
- lol pangoYakuZoku
- Gardener25
I'm glad I got the world travelling, weekly gig going, played the field, general drug debauchery out of my system by 40 because by 41 I'd luckily met my dream woman and then became a dad and tbh it changed EVERYTHING. Hardly a day of regret 20 years later, and it's been a rough ride of dealing with step kids with mental health issues but am still happily married and taken on a new life with an adoption of a beautiful 2 year old and I am always looking forward. I don't have that much money (tied up in vinyl probably) but a positive mindset of adventures past and just try to keep good company and glad that by 30 I'd realised it was time to give up smoking and to live in the moment with the people I love.
- <3palimpsest
- if there was a QBN hall of fame this post belongs in it.fadein11
- Upvoted for the wise wordsdee-dubs
- https://i.imgur.com/…Akagiyama
- Doing it right :)NonEntity
- I smoke in the moment.robthelad
- Teach medrgs
- Gardy the Legend.garbage
- We could and should all learn some things from you.Longcopylover
- I’m (just) 40 and more interested in the wisdom of age than the naivety of youth; finally!ideaist
- "live in the moment with the people I love"
This is everything!nocomply - Word, manOBBTKN
- Live, laugh, love.zardoz
- "That is very well put," said Candide, "but we must go and work our garden."garbage
- pr2-13
at 35 i've finished a feature-length documentary (that went to a crap load of film festivals and got us a shit load of awards) [if you care, you can watch it here: www.shoulderthelion.com ]
at 36 i had my first kid.
soon after we bought our first car, a vintage Mercedes 1973 280 as our family car. []
at 37 i had my mid-life crisis.
around that time i started writing my sci-fi novel [though finished, it's still unpublished, but you can see art for it here: www.thornsofimmortality.com ]at 39 i had my 2nd kid.
around that time, during covid, my wife and I made a few children books that didn't sell too well [you can see those here: www.tupelobooks.com ]at 41 after a small fender-bender, I decided to start fixing rust on my vintage car so i learned how to weld. (after 2 years, that car is ready for paint finally)
at 42 i separated from my wife but after a few months we got back together discovering that having two apartments, thought expensive, is actually amazing for our sanity.
around that time i started to draw again [ https://patrykrebisz.com/art/ ]at 43 we bought our first house with some land (1 acre) just outside of New York City (but keeping out apt in the city)
things to look towards:
-- seeing kids grow up and enjoy the vast backyard of our new house
-- building stuff with kids
-- 3-some in Barcelona
-- solo show of my art
-- finally getting my book published (self-publishing is BS)
-- more stable income (so it doesn't vary from year to year by almost $50k)things that WILL suck in next few years:
-- parents getting to the bucket stage
-- NY State of Education shaving any woke crap you can imagine down my kids throat- Saw that doc. Was very good, congratsGnash
- thanks G!!pr2
- Love that Benz!instrmntl
- Love that car. This was my dad's 220SE but it was green. https://bringatraile…CyBrainX
- Don't let them vaccinated your childrenVeganWarrior
- I drew one of these for someone on here. I used to work on old mercs with my father in law. Loved it.
https://imgur.com/a/…slappy - Pol Pot had a similar merc.zardoz
- mig or tig welding?zardoz
- I learned mig, Tig was more than I neededGnash
- pango7
remember to enjoy the small things in life is all I got to say.
- Well, if you've got a small willy, there's no much choice.shapesalad
- awww here here. life must be rough for you with so little choice. But don't worry. we won't shame you here.pango
- pango10
also here's a success path I mapped for you.
40 start your first ad agency
50 2nd ad agency
60 3rd ad agency
BOOM! Success!- lolfadein11
- pango knows what's what!Continuity
- I heard a really clueless euro moron say that all you have to do is imagine the future you want. That guy has 3 agencies by Will power alone.monospaced
- XDpango
- canoe1
You're 35. You've reached your (for now) professional high point.
You're bored with it now.
Who hasn't been bored with the same ol' no matter what it is?
I never knew this before I practiced it, but my grandfather told an uncle of mine about reinvention... every 5 or 10 years depending on your age.
If you think you're truly depressed, save up some money and travel and/or do things that you've always loved and gets you outside.
All the love in the world, KH
- By reinvention, I'm pretty sure he meant new aspirations and skills, rather than an acute deviation. Like for you, what areas of our world haven't you exploredcanoe
- I feel like I'm blowing wind into someone who's shot holes in their parachute. Because when you say "retire" that's pretty strong, especially when there's no...canoe
- vision of what retirement means. Many people would think that means you have enough money to live under your means until 85.canoe
- I take it as, you're done. Done with the computer, done with the client, done with the frivolous products, the ethics perhaps, there's a lot of compromise...canoe
- in commercial work.canoe
- Reinvention? Most people don't have hobbies, no wonder their life is miserable, get some fucking hobbies and carry ongrafician
- Also I don't think I know one single creative person retiring, this "path" is for life
We're very fortunate to take itgrafician - You'd have to talk further with the deceased to know exactly what he meant. He did carry a family-named business to my Dad. So I presume he was talking about...canoe
- taking a hobby or a path very seriously. When he passed we uncovered that he had taken calligraphy, branding, communication art classes as it were.canoe
- Re: #path. It always appears to me that noncreatives crossover to the creative world in the sense that they open a restaurant or a farm or an etc.canoe
- As far as creatives moving into finance or real estate or an etc, that probably doesn't happen too often. But a creative moving into another creative field is..canoe
- progress.canoe
- slappy2
I'm 44 this year and I feel it too. I feel ok about it, I try and get the most joy possible out of each day while still taking care of my obligations to work and family.
It's good to make plans, but you can't put your joy on hold, you need to be grateful and live in the present as much as possible. I know that's a mindfulness cliche, but it works.
I'm not driven to take over the world, I work in a small studio, with good people, I do the best work I can within the hours I have available, and I go home on time and hang out with my kids and see what's happening in their worlds. I don't need more, and I won't get more time, so I have to make the most of the time I do have and not waste it.
- autoflavour1
just to throw more fuel on this .. I guess what I was clumsily trying to articulate before was the whole preoccupation on worth through career is a bit ass..
I wear this a bit of a badge of honour, but the last actual job interview I went for from a job application I submitted was in 1999, everything since then I have either been head hunted or just fell into work from being in the right place at the right time.
I guess my point is honestly my job is just a means to support all the parts of my life that isn't work.. all my side hustles, my hobbies and of course my family .. I have a quite a few friends who focussed hard on their craft and managed to make it as full time artists and musicians, but in the end almost end up hating the the identities they have crafted as it becomes harder to stay at the top once you reach it.
but I have always been kind of happy just scheming and doing shit for my own amusement and if people pay attention, all the better.
I guess my waffling point is this, stop caring. if your unhappy change something.
the biggest issue I have is complacency and getting too comfortable .. like coming up next year I have been running our podcast for 10 years.. easily the longest personal project I have ever done.. and while it is a bit on autopilot, it also gives me much needed structure and motivation.
not sure where I was going with all that.. except to say 35 is the sweet spot.. still young enough to start a family and not enjoy it, old enough to know what's bad for you ..
- FAMILY AND ENJOY IT.. I mean..autoflavour
- Agree.slappy
- https://media0.giphy…pango
- bainbridge0
"still young enough to start a family and not enjoy it,"
- mathinc8
I am turning 45 in a few months.
At 35 I had my own design studio, married, with one kiddo. We only started the studio because we both found ourselves suddenly jobless with an 8-day-old kid. Talk about scary. We loved where we live so we decided to try and make our own money rather than moving to get new jobs. It was stressful, but also really fun and exciting. Once my wife and I decided to try for kid #2, but instead ended up with kid #2 AND an identical kid #3 I knew my business owner days were numbered. It was just too much. With the studio with a few employees felt like we had five kids.
I turned 40 and started working through a referral agency as a sub-contractor. Which has been fantastic. I'm really not very passionate about interface design anymore. Honestly, I'm kind of bored with all of it. But I work with great people and have learned how to make good money without working all that much. I can take off as much time as I want and life is pretty easy in that respect.
I actually felt pretty listless from 38 - 42 or so. Maybe a little depression? I felt like I didn't have much passion in my work, or anything really. I was buying books on existentialism trying to figure out what's wrong with me. During the start of the pandemic, I took up trail running (along with everyone else) and fell in love with it. I absolutely suck at it, I'm slow as fuck, but I actually really like that part of it. I know I'll never be all that good, but I love the process of trying to get better. I recently ran a 50k (~32 miles) in the Grand Canyon. I watch documentaries about it while I crank out my work. I found my new passion.
I feel like I got really lucky finding design when I did in my late teens. I was very passionate about it and it kept me interested until my mid-30s. And now I've found my next passion in ultra running.
I do wonder if I'm too comfortable at times. Sometimes I think things are too good. My wife is pretty awesome, my kids are all livewires with huge personalities and I love hanging out with them. My work/life balance is great. But maybe this is just a sweet spot?
Right around the corner are three teenagers, and who knows how that will change our relationships. I'm pretty scared of my parents getting older. I'm worried a little bit about the longevity of my career, and worried about humanity too if I'm being honest.
I hope I'm running 50 milers by the time I'm 50. I think that would be fun. And hopefully running can keep my interest as long as design has. We'll see if I'm still running when I'm 60. Or maybe I'll fall back in love with design again. I just hope I find another passion when this one runs out.
- All of that sounds great.shapesalad
- You're in AZ, right? Do the Camelback run. It's brutal fun.garbage
- I'm about 2h north of Phoenix, up in Flagstaff. I have never ran in Phx, I should actually go do that. I've done some of the Black Canyon Tr. and it's great.mathinc
- Flagstaff is a trip, don't know how you handle those temperature swings.garbage
- Camelback is a brutal trail run that includes a built in handrail, because there's a section that's almost vertical.garbage
- You get to the top and its just a view of the burbs and the Red Mountain ridge.garbage
- But a hilarious memory: Sitting up on a rock after running that trail, and the team building session that I had passed made it up there by sunset.garbage
- The look on the hired videographer's face after he hucked one of those ancient Sony PDWs on his shoulder all the way up the hill was amazing.garbage
- He had the look of "this is a fucking rental" and "I'm going to kill all of these twats". It's a silly place, but if you pass by it's worth a run.garbage
- hahaha that's hilarious. I'll definitely have to try it once it cools back down. It's already too damn hot for running in Phx!!mathinc
- Yeah, PHX heat is the only heat I can't really take. Keep on running, though. Good on you.garbage
- Good for you jimbomilfhunter
- I used to run that Camelback spine 2-3 times a week... my other favorite run / hike was Piestewa peak — gorgeous at the crack of dawn.PonyBoy
- ^ respect on both, and agreed on the dawn view, which is followed by an immediate "Let's get the fuck out of here".garbage
- Catching the full sun before getting down the hill was the worst... side note: I was once blocked by authorities coming down Piestewa to allow a helicopter to...PonyBoy
- ... pick up someone off the hill with a medical emergencyPonyBoy
- Haha. I'm sure there was a lot of external compassion, and a lot of internal "Can you please hurry the fuck up?"garbage
- ha! it was a hot morning if I recall... just dug through my phone and found the photo I took: https://i.imgur.com/…PonyBoy
- Ha, I was going to ask where the fuck they were going to place the choppa, never noticed the improv pad. People probably bite off more they can chew on the reg.garbage