Friendly or Not So Friendly 1212 Responses

Last post: 1 year, 2 months ago | Thread started: Mar 6, 12, 2:53 p.m.

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• canoe

  So, I've known Dude my entire life. But he's the kind of friend that really never calls, and usually has one word replies to most everything everyone else brings into a conversation. Let's say he's not that impressive, but nonetheless we grew up on the same street, and shared the same interest in design.

  He's now into the idea of starting a T-Shirt co, regardless of my poor opinion of the concept, I'm supportive. But the thing is, I've been there, and I did all the research myself - ya know, finding vendors, getting the right ecommerce solution, picking the right t-shirt company, buying the right quantities, etc... and now of course, he says, "You'll have to tell me which shirts to buy."

  I kinda feel like a student that has done the research for his research paper is now being bothered by the lazy, entitled, spoiled roommate.

  And I also feel like I'm being a dick by not being so open to help him.

  Mar 6, 12, 2:53 p.m. – Permalink

• akrok

  if he isn't appreciate your help. well, then why do it.

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 2:57 p.m. – Permalink

• Iifeinvector

  You aren't responsible for him. Trust your instincts!

  • Wait, does he want to be business partners or does he just want your help?– Iifeinvector1/2

    Whichever it is, do what YOU feel is right.– Iifeinvector2/2

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 2:57 p.m. – Permalink

• ohhhhhsnap

  I'm always about approaching folks with kindness.

  You could use this opportunity to be a teacher of sorts with your childhood buddy (teaching him in a way... how to be a "good" human being), if you think it's worth it.

  But find a balance where YOU don't feel as though he's using you-- that shit can damage you. Sounds like you work crazy hard, don't give it all away to others to hop on for a free ride.

  Maybe even it's just time for you to close that door. What's your gut telling you?

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 2:59 p.m. – Permalink

• ukit2

  It's up to you. But sounds like the kind of info I wouldn't have trouble sharing on a forum like this to complete strangers.

  What do you have to lose from helping him?

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3 p.m. – Permalink

• k_temp

  I think that you can be kind but not too kind. How you do that?
  You tell him half truths, he asks what shirt to buy? you can say "i like the cotton because it holds the ink better," he asks "from what company?" tell him "which have you dealt with," he asks "what ink?" you answer "i've done this this and that" always short answer and dont tell him too much.

  When you feel he is asking too much you can then say "dude... i think you should find out yourself" and at least you did your share and won't look like a dick.

  It's like immigration agents, he asks "what's your purpose?" "visting families." You aren't telling him duuuude im going to stay at my family and then go out with friends and fuuuck some chiiicks. You just reply short and simple.

  • and i think you can end each answer with "try those out see which one you like, just try"– k_temp1/2

    sage advice.– doesnotexist2/2

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:08 p.m. – Permalink

• canoe

  Well ukrit, what I lose? Probably nothing, it would be nice to help him.

  But at the same time I would be reinforcing his laziness, which now that he's in his 30s, is ruining parts of his life... women don't take him serious.

  • well dont take him seriously :/
    dont be a dick but dont be too worried about him?– k_temp1/2

    I agree. Tho I hear you... u don't want to enable his behavior. sounds like in your gut you want to help. do it!– ohhhhhsnap2/2

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:08 p.m. – Permalink

• zoozoo

  charge a consulting fee to be paid at a deferred rate

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:10 p.m. – Permalink

• scarabin

  that's awesome of you to look out for his chances with girls and crap but i'd leave that up to him. the t-shirt research you've already done, however, i'd just give him. it's no effort on your part and it's a good thing for a friend to do.

  • i wouldn't consider his request taking advantage of you so what's to lose– scarabin1/3

    my two cents– scarabin2/3

    This sounds pretty good.– Iifeinvector3/3

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:17 p.m. – Permalink

• ukit2

  Just post the info for everyone to see. That way he get no special treatment.

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:20 p.m. – Permalink

• canoe

  Thanks to all my equally anonymous "friends".

  Time to get paranoid and mix records.

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:22 p.m. – Permalink

• inteliboy

  I think I know a guy like this... They've gone through being a graphic designer phase, starting a t-shirt company phase, and now onto a being a film director phase. All without a single piece of work or job/client in any of those fields - as if the shit is easy and they deserve the rewards.

  After giving years of advice, and all falling on deaf years, I've given up bothering and just let the guy do his own thing.

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:28 p.m. – Permalink

• showpony

  

  • < look i give when asked to do stuff for people who take it for granted...– showpony

  

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  Dog-earMar 6, 12, 3:30 p.m. – Permalink