designing vs mother of the bride
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- colin_s
so i had a deal with some friends to design their wedding invite system. lots of stuff involved. they liked the mark i came up with for everything and the save the date. we were set to progress with everything when ...
the mother of the bride is a member of some kind of group where you pay a lot of money up front, and then get shit at cost. there's a pre-made / pre-packaged wedding invitation outlet that she wants to go with (since, after all, she's paying for it). they want to go with me, but they can't control the $ and the mom is being unruly.
so i need to find some good, affordable printing solutions for a wide variety of collateral asap to keep the job / keep the mother appeased. they wanted to do letterpress invites and either digital or offset for the rest. has anybody run into this sort of situation before? i don't usually do wedding stuff and i'm not exactly sure where to start since it's a lot they want. they also don't want me to waste my time / pay my hours to do design comps if they are going to go with this other all in one place.
so, suggestions on printers for wedding projects? and is this even a battle worth fighting? i just don't see how you can get cost effectiveness with all of this stuff involved since you get what you pay for, plus to go with an all in one solution they also don't pay for a designer.
advice, help, and stories all welcome.
- randommail0
You say, "I don't usually do wedding stuff and I'm not exactly sure where to start..."
You ask, "Is this even a battle worth fighting?"
I answer, "No. Besides, isn't it customary for the bride's side to take care of the wedding. Let the bride and the mother have their fun."
- prophetone0
i don't have advice for printers, but that's a touchy situation. weddings tend to ramp up emotions during the planning stages and often decisions are made that will defy logic. i think before you go too far you get your friends to tell the mom your their guy and ditch the costco invites idea. no matter how good a deal you propose, mom will find a cheaper one and she wields the power of persuasion here. so you need to know up front that you're not gonna waste our time and get trumped by someone who prob doesn't care about if the invites are 'letterpress', only that she can get somethong "cheaper" and just as beautiful iho. just my random 2 cents.
- prophetone0
...and if they don't have the jam to tell mom how it is, and get her to agree that you're cool, then i'd back the hell off because you're not going to win imo.
- autoflavour0
go to the mums house, flop your cock out and everything will be resolved
- monNom0
You probably can't win. Bow out, let the mom have her way, and try not to work for friends in the future.
- Amicus0
The first problem was assuming there was a decent budget. I would have been getting quotes and discussing budgets as a first step.
- monospaced0
I've been in this exact situation before. In the end, there is absolutely NO WAY you'll match that template-based system she wants to order. Not if you want to be compensated AT ALL for your design work. In the end, the printing (letterpress) alone is about as much as the template design delivered.
You can simply explain to the bride/groom that you can provide original work that nobody else will have, and it will be nicer than anything online, or they can have the template. But, the original design work from you, while magnitudes better from design and personality, will cost more. It's that simple.
Let them decide, but don't try to force your work into an unrealistic budget.
- don't work anymore, at all, until they have made a final decision...trust me, the mother doesn't care about designmonospaced
- colin_s0
thanks all. they said they really want me to do it but, the mother became a huge hassle with the save the date alone (and even got into art directing UGH), and so i might just go to them and say that it probably won't be worth it if she's involved.
- Jacque0
Probably for the better.
- tymeframe0
Sorry to hear it. What you were working on would have been a cherished fixture in their wedding memories.
Bottom line over value, huh? I hope she doesn't always choose this route when she wants to do something for her daughter.
- monospaced0
I find that if I pay for the difference out of my pocket (only for close friends, like when a fellow QBNer got married just over a month ago) that all problems are solved. That is another option.
- digdre0
seduce the mom.
- orrinward0
Lower the price on paper, and put some small print saying that you'll expect the remaining money a few months later. Don't tell them about it, make them sign the paper then profit at a later date.
- autoflavour0
do you have a gun?
- Josev0
The friends engaged you, liked the work, and now have nothing to say in the matter? Shouldn't the bride be the one advocating for your work?
I've designed a number of wedding invites and, and except for one that was for a friend who was a designer, they were all nightmares. People get irrational when they get married.
- calculator0
yeah, fuck it off.
would be more pain than it's worth.
i did my own stuff, but would never do it for anyone else.
- doesnotexist0
give them your files and tell them to enjoy/do whatever their heart desires.
this isn't worth treating as regular work/business.
- capn_ron0
Can you find a smaller short-run printer in the area that specializes in 2-3 color? That way you don't do any letterpress and you can possibly gang up the whole job on one 18x24 sheet or something even smaller to keep the paper costs down. I've ganged whole invite suites on 11x17 and 12x18 and run them offset to keep the costs down. If you find a smaller printer you will find that you can run this a lot cheaper. Just gotta be smart on the layout and not have too many crazy diecuts or any for that matter.