embarrassing things your kids say
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- epigraph
I'll start with:
Me and my 3 year old were in line at cold stone creamery behind a VERY large woman. My daughter daughter asks loud as hell "Daddy why is that lady so big"?awwwwkward
- i_monk0
What did you tell her?
- should've said "too much ice cream"johnny_wobble
- I kinda just hushed her and ignored the whole thing. I was really not prepared, lolepigraph
- hilarious I love it. they say "the truth comes out of the mouth of babies"moldero
- Mr_Mxyzptlk0
Was it also a man?
- shellie0
I don't have kids. But my awesome niece grew up with a non-existent filter. If you stink, she'll let you know. If your ugly or fat, she could be so inclined to point out the "BIG BEEFER"... But most notably, the lady who does my hair has the biggest implants of all time. After numerous conversations about how she shouldn't put people on blast like she does, she decides to mime how huge she thinks these boobs looked. Let's just say it wasn't subtle -- but nice try.
- bjladams0
so, we have these kapai books - and at this particular image, my 2 year old always points and says "Monkeys!" and i always have to correct him and tell him "no, those are rugby players.
a while ago we were out to eat and a huge black man came in and sat at the booth across from us - in slow motion the kid points at the dude and says "look daddy, a...." (here is where i'm preparing for death) "... a rugby player!"
i was so happy i bought him his own desert. (the kid, not the rugby player)
- TheMagicSheep0
when i was little, at the grocery store, i pointed at the shelf full of bottles of mrs. butterworths and asked quite loudly, "why are all those men holding their penises?"
- mikotondria30
While out shopping with her mother my friend, who was aged about 4 saw someone she recognised just across the aisle in the store.
"Look mummy", she blurted out "There's that lady we hid from the other day !"
- IRS0
When our son was 4 he was in one of those car grocery carts going down the aisle saying "beep, beep, beep" to people as they passed. One lady was in the way so he says "beep, beep, get the hell out of the way lady"
Yes his mother is an aggressive driver.
- prophetone0
not embarrassing but one night last week my four-year-old was ignoring my 'it's bedtime come upstairs' now requests... finally he yells up 'dad, you're cool and everything but you need to relax...'
- fooler0
I was out golfing and my friend brought his preschool boy along to ride in the cart. After a few holes and a few beers and sodas they both had to take a piss. As I was teeing off they both turned their backs to pee on a tree and the kid says during my backstroke " Daddy, You've got a big penis!"
I nearly lost my driver I was laughing so hard during my swing.
- dbloc0
A guy at work here has a little boy that learned the word vacuum as his first word...He would run around saying what sounded like "Fuck You" to everyone.
- moldero0
my 2 year old is learning letters, we play with flash cards and blocks as flash cards too, the other day I pulled out a wooden block with the letter "F" on it, she said "F" then followed by what sounded like "FUCK" I was like, oh shit, i don't cuss in front of her at all but maybe she overheard it somehow. the next day she seen a Fox on the iPad and said "F,,,,, FOX" I was relieved big time. I felt like a bad low class red neck dad for 1 night.
- bdizzle0
Forget the kids....this was this week in Flori-DUH -
if you think your mom may have embarrassed you in high school...
think again-
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/doc…
- MikeColdFusion0
when my cousin was 4 she had really bad bronchitis. I taught her to say "where are my cigarettes?" after she coughed. it got a lot of laughs but her mother did not appreciate it.
- matnz0
Not mine but a colleague from works story:
I was standing in a crowded bank line with my son when he kept demanding icecream
"Mummy I want an Icecream"
"Mummy I want an Icecream"
I told him to be quiet and he said at the top of his lungs:
"Mummy if you don't buy me an icecream I'm gonna tell Grandma you had daddy's willy in your mouth"
I left the bank immediately.
- kona0
this is my new favorite thread
- epigraph0
Some woman's kid was running amok all over Target, and she grabs the girl looks at me and says " See that man over there? You better stay close or else that man is going to steal you!"
She then looks at me with a "Kids. Gotta love em!" kinda shrug....
- pinkfloyd0
When I was in college, I was sketching some animal at a zoo. While I was in a kneeling position, some kid around 4 years old tried to ram me down with his push cart.
- autoflavour0
my kid is 5 months old.. so lately its just been gaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
- How embarassingmathinc
- enjoy it while you can. Once they start...ETM
- not embarrassing at all.. i love itautoflavour