Prostate exam
- Started
- Last post
- 59 Responses
- cnaps19700
Right when he sticks his finger in...you say..."you have sausage fingers just like daddy! Now put a cigar out on my taint, then tuck me in!"
- mg330
Ask him to use a vaginal speculum "just for kicks" and bring your own.
- mg330
Even better: have somebody paddle the living hell out of you tonight, or whip you with a belt, so that your ass is just red raw when you go in there, to the point you can't even walk straight. When the doctor inquires as to what happened to you, reply "my dad punished me for breaking curfew," no matter how old you are.
- BusterBoy0
Everything was going just fine until the Doc said "Just take your pants off and pop them on the chair over there...right next to mine".
- mg330
This is a terrible joke and I apologize but it's awesome and frankly it's great for this thread:
Little Billy goes to his friends birthday party.
After the presents are opened the mother of billy's friend brings out the entertainment...a Magician. The magician does all his tricks and Billy is awestruck...now Billy wants to learn magic. After the magic tricks he asks the magician if he could teach him some tricks.The magician agrees and tells Billy to meet him after school for his first lesson. So the next day after school Billy rushes to the magician's house to learn the tricks of the trade. The magic man takes billy into his home and brings him in the back room where all his Magic stuff is stored.
The magician tells billy to get ready for his first trick. he asks billy to drop his trousers and turn around. Billy is a little freaked out by this but after some prodding finally agrees. Now the magician gets up behind him and Billy feels a poking in his ass. The magician asks "Now Billy, does that feel like a thumb in your butt? Billy agrees with a grimace..."yes"The magician reaches around with both hands and gives billy the two thumbs up in his face. Prestooooo!!!!!
[when you tell this in person, you can really sell it with the thumbs up gestures and a big pelvic thrust]
- i've told this one but replaced 'magician' with 'grandpa'. much more better.airey
- bulletfactory0
Just don't be a big baby.
- Horp0
Shave your butthole, wear a jock strap, offer to open yourself up with some light fingering first, let the examiner know he can watch you do that if he wishes.
- lol! "offer to open yourself up with some light fingering"version3
- Look coy, wear lipgloss. Call him 'Doctor Holey'.Horp
- Sit provocatively on the edge of his desk when first entering the room.Horp
- LOL!!!bigbaby53
- Take some poppers with you as they may not be available on the premises.Horp
- fuckin' awesome Horp. I am dying here! You win!mg33
- HAHAHAHAMeeklo
- Few things will be better than this comment on QBN in all of 2010.mg33
- Fucking GOLD!!!elahon
- i have to agreejohngrif
- MrOneHundred0
I hate to break up the party, but there is a blood test for this now...
- thank god for science!Amicus
- >:(
Thanks for ruining the party, Science.Peter - lol@PeterHbigtrickagain
- version30
don't eat a lot of sugar or greens. no need to be gassy
- scarabin0
hide a ring in there and propose to the doctor
- hahaversion3
- Lawllajj
- HAHA!bulletfactory
- LOLOLOLHorp
- LOLJnr_Madison
- oh...my...juhls
- haha zzzingbigtrickagain
- fucking goldMal
- MrOneHundred0
...but if you insist on “going manual” jerk off a couple of hours before, so you can make the moment last.
- MrOneHundred0
Start crying, and when the doctor asks if you’re OK, tell him they’re tears of joy.
- mg330
Ask him to teach you how to milk yourself.
- elDoctor0
Bleach your asshole like strippers do. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ana…
Also make sure he buys you dinner.
- mikotondria30
Just remember that the doc has seen hundreds or thousands of these, ahem, things, and yours to him is just a familiar sight, 'at work'... Imagine someone coming into your office and going 'ooh...and ahh..' when you open Photoshop.. Its just what they look at and do.
If they're not wrong-footed by your tea-towel holder, then don't sweat it.
Try to bear down a little, and not pinch his hand off at first, btw.- no need to have your lemon party / goaste collage open though...version3
- airey0
they do the physical as well as the blood test, the psa test aint close to correct enough on it's own yet.
- Horp0
It would be great if you shoved a scoop of crunchy peanut butter in the cleft, but that's more for fun than out of any medical necessity.
- mg330
Too bad you didn't think ahead and get a tattoo of a giant squid on your ass before hand, with your a-hole as the single, dark eye.