a man in tescos 1515 Responses

Last post: 2 years ago | Thread started: Jan 22, 10, 7:55 a.m.

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• set

  Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

  This letter was actually sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

  Dear Mrs. Murray,

  Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your
  Husband stops his antics.

  Below is a list of his actions over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

  1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

  2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

  3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

  4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... And watched what happened.

  5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

  6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calorgas stove.

  7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

  8.. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

  9. October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

  10. November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

  11.November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

  12. November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled' PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

  13. November 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

  And; last, but not least:

  14. November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

  Jan 22, 10, 7:55 a.m. – Permalink

• set

  Doubt its real but a few are quite humerous

  • literally 'a few'.– Horp1/2

    number 14, to be precise.– Horp2/2

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 7:56 a.m. – Permalink

• boobs

  Any of those could be a Mr. Bean sketch.

  • Period jokes weren't that popular with Bean writers!– HAYZ1LLA

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:01 a.m. – Permalink

• GeorgesII

  Tyler Durden LIVES

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:03 a.m. – Permalink

• lowimpakt

  IT'S FACKING "TESCO" NOT FACKING "TESCOS"

  IT'S FACKING "LIDL" NOT FACKING "LIDLS"

  YOU'RE NOT FACKING "GOING OVER TO LIDLS" YOU'RE 'GOING OVER TO LIDL' YOU FACKING CAAAANT.

  • If you have a friend called Dave, and you going over to his house.. are you 'going over to dave' ? CUNT.– set1/7

    Tesco isn't a person you dense fuckwit– BIGGESTDOGINTHEWORLD2/7

    if you're going to the Next you say, I'm going to Next not Next's or HMV's or Virgin's etc etc :)– lowimpakt3/7

    lol you go to Next– gjd4/7

    true.. i was just defending my stupidity, you see.– set5/7

    i don't go to Next. Set does. people that say "tescos" shop in Next.– lowimpakt6/7

    I camp outside the night before a next sale– set7/7

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:09 a.m. – Permalink

• jazmine

  that reads like a david letterman top ten list (with extras) that didn't make it.

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:09 a.m. – Permalink

• scarabin

  this was going around here as "wal-mart" in '05

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:22 a.m. – Permalink

• MSL

  

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:25 a.m. – Permalink

• baseline_shift

  security cameras generally dont record audio

  • look you silly cunt we all know its not real...– set

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 8:53 a.m. – Permalink

• set

  Bump so you can read my notes you wankers

  • wasnt worth the read you silly cunt– baseline_shift1/2

    I already called you a silly cunt, calling me it back is just not the way its done. Be original.– set2/2

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 9:42 a.m. – Permalink

• set

  Now, I'm just of the my mate Dave to drink a few of his beer with a bunch of friend.

  • fuck me my grammar is shit, not good when your trying to take the piss– set

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 9:43 a.m. – Permalink

• set

  Now, I'm just of the my mate Dave to drink a few of his beer with a bunch of friend.

  • God wanted you to read that twice, I guess.– set

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 9:43 a.m. – Permalink

• BIGGESTDOGINTHEWORLD

  _
  BORING FAKE SHIT, this is the sort of shit peoples Dads forward to each other.

  • so true lol– set1/2

    haha– scarabin2/2

  

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  Dog-earJan 22, 10, 10:44 a.m. – Permalink

• Projectile

  fake? definitely. Boring? HELLS no! it made me laugh quite a few times actually! haha #13 is the funniest shit i've ever seen!!!

  

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  Dog-earJan 23, 10, 3:48 a.m. – Permalink

• formula

  #10 is pretty good actually.

  

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  Dog-earJan 23, 10, 6:20 a.m. – Permalink

• ximeraLabs

  The man in question perchance?
  

  

  

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  Dog-earJan 23, 10, 8:49 a.m. – Permalink