crit my song
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- 19 Responses
- 7point340
i'll agree i like you voice...
the music kinda falls flat, to my ear... i guess that is the fault of the bassline. not sure, but it seems little too monotone.
and i also don't care much for the effect on the guitar track
- *i like your voice7point34
- you lick his voice?
YOU SICK FUCK!!locustsloth
- planet010
Thanks for the comments on my voice... that's encouraging.
About the bass, that's me on a garage band instrument. bass is always challenging for me to work on bass. I'll have to go back and work on that.
As far as the guitar effect, it wasn't really recorded well, so the effect was attempting to mask that. I really need to invest in a good mic and a pre-amp or something.
- Also, you can hear the click before and after the music is on. Be sure to cut whatever track (i'm guessing vocal or Ac. Gtr) that it's coming through onlocustsloth
- it's coming thru onlocustsloth
- Mal0
I think the voice is good but needs to have more wings. I'd encourage you to belt it out a bit more and put a bit more emotion into it just for the hell of it.
- akrokdesign0
yeah, sounds flat. need to think of the whole spectrum/space. ex. the way a drum-set is setup. a bit to left, a bit to right. :-)
- non0
Practice more. Everything feels "off" (timing, tuning, etc.).
- Mal0
keep at it and you'll end up with this :)
- Prev0
bass line needs some help. I would like to hear the guitar on the chorus a little more dirty
- wrugs0
i use this thing in garageband alot with the electric piano high up on the octave of it. and add a ton of reverb to it and -- sounds like little chimes. a tamborine would be good on the song also as well as a high melody guitar doing a little noodling. -- i like the idea of adding things to it rather than starting over. it all depends on what style of music you are trying to go for this song could be changed ot have a 90's feel which it kinda already does or more of a folky throwback feel depending on what things you lay on top of it. but what would really be cool is if you added some more vocals on top of the ones you have already. like it the background or something super reverby drenched out .
the cathedral organ also is badass just lay down on it one note the whole song.
- wrugs0
you could also play around under the master track tab and see what tempo sounds best. speed it up it could add a whole new light.
- pressplay0
sounds very homemade, but not in a good sense... I don't judge the song itself but the way it sounds now it's more like a demo/ sketch you would play to your bandmates... it lacks the warmth of musicians interacting/ groove / vibe / swing / whatever... for this kind of music: get a real bass, a good mic, skip the effects and then play the parts over and over again... voice sounds slightly insecure, hiding behind a bored tone... singing is hard, I know, but this is not even close to what it could be if you would let yourself get more into it
- fresnobob0
I kind of think you need to go the opposite of what most people are saying and try less. (Practice more, but try less.) You have a nice, slow, rather melancholy song, so belting it out more is the opposite of what you want to do, its only going to ruin the mood, which is the best thing you have going for you. I also think that since you're not a recording engineer you should use your weakness as a strength and go lo-fi and use a 4-track tape recorder or something like that. The lo-fi thing is going to add a whole dimension of style you don't have and itll basically make the simplicity shine rather than vice-versa as it is now. Also don't forget that minimalism is your friend.
- i'm definitely following you here, not sure that I want to go to a 4-track though.planet01
- Stian0
I really like your voice - it´s got great character. I would recommend you to only use Garageband to sketch out ideas. Invest in more professional gear, or hook up with someone who knows their way around the studio.
The mood of the song and the sound of your voice reminds me a lot of Starflyer 59 (one of my favorite bands!).
Starflyer 59: http://open.spotify.com/artist/3…Keep it up!
- wrugs0
you can get a tascam 4 track for like 100 bucks btw.
- nosaj0
Go wild on the drums. Big fills and loud cymbals would be a nice contrast. Good work. Kinda reminds me of Codeine http://www.myspace.com/codeineny…
- Ianbolton0
from a musical perspective, yeah, maybe it needs a bit of work, but I would rather listen to a demo full of great ideas than a boring studio compressed albums full of shit, so keep it simple.
Singing is hard. Bjork reflects her mental personality and it works, Thom Yorke whines but does it with profoundness not heard in many. The guy from Notwist almost just speaks, but it suits the music. As long as it feels right when you sing, then stick to it. Experiment, but don't use Auto-tune as Jay Z will kill yo ass.You heard anything by Low??
I've been making music for about 10 years. It's taken me until now to actually like anything enough to play it to people.
- planet010
thanks for all the feedback, it's good to get some unbiased thoughts.
- locustsloth0
Your voice is actually the best thing about this. It sounds like an Evan Dando impersonator, but i like hm, so that's not all bad. The vibe of the actual song is good. Not really groundbreakingly original, but still good.
The 2 problems i have with this is:
A) The bass player (you?) forgot to put his headphones on while recording. Half the time it is so out of tune, it's unbearable. And no it's not the good kind of dissonance
B) There's too much flange or chorus or whatever on the acoustic gtr. Instead of trying to hide the gtr's tone, get a good recording of it. A little eq, a little verb. But don't throw it in the sea of modulation effects, cause it's drowning.
Needs to be added to, but it's a good start.