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'Designer Guy' = I.T.? 2727 Responses

Last post: 4 years, 6 months ago | Thread started: Nov 24, 08, 9:25 a.m.

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  • turk_182

    NO - I won't set up your email accounts for you...
    ...damnit...

    Nov 24, 08, 9:25 a.m. – Permalink
  • skt

    oh, you work in computers? do you know why i can't connect to my printer?

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:26 a.m. – Permalink
  • brandelec

    welcome to my life bud

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:27 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    hey IT dude... get back to work!

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:27 a.m. – Permalink
  • turk_182

    We just bought a new scanner so we can scan these images for you - can you help us set it up?

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:27 a.m. – Permalink
  • flavorful

    "Can you help me set up my wireless network?"

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:28 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    the files are IN the computer

    http://innonate.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/zoolander_files.png

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:29 a.m. – Permalink
  • flyingnowhere

    "How do i get these images out of this email?"

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:29 a.m. – Permalink
  • brandelec

    "james, why is the internet down?"
    "the storm last night caused a problem for most of the town"
    "can you fix it?"
    "no, by most of the town, i mean the entire town"

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:30 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    them: "don't download weird stuff that will give me a virus"

    me: 'dont you worry (fap fap fap)"

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:31 a.m. – Permalink
  • epete22

    "Send me an eps and jpg" "But this a multipage catalog, wouldn't a PDF be better."

    • Haha! I'm so glad I am not alone with this!– MSL
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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:32 a.m. – Permalink
  • MSL

    Boss: I can't open this .exe file on my mac!
    Me: *silence*

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:34 a.m. – Permalink
  • cannonball

    "Do you know how I can get my emails?"

    "Do you know what I do here?"

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:34 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    them: "i have no space in my computer... i think i need more ram"

    Me: "no. you need more memory or another drive"

    Them:"but i found some super cheap ram"

    me: forget it

    • ram is memory...
      ... did you just out yourself as 'one of them'? :D      – turk_1821/4
      yeah... but you know what i mean– CALLES2/4
      so "they" understand– CALLES3/4
      :)– turk_1824/4
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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:35 a.m. – Permalink
  • brandelec

    them: "what's my login password?"
    me: i want to punch you in the eye and ram my elbow in your mouth

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:37 a.m. – Permalink
  • MSL

    This happened a while back but:

    Me: I need your logo, send across a high res tif, i'm sure I can work with that.
    Client: OK, I'll fax it over now.

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:38 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    them: "whats a jpg?"
    Me: "just a picture format... mmm like .tif"
    them: "whats a tif?"
    me:

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/51132789_206434875c.jpg

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:40 a.m. – Permalink
  • flavorful

    Any friend who has ever asked me about why their computer is extremely slow, takes forever to open things, has pop-ups come up constantly ... to just downright not working anymore: I don't know what I did.

    Me: Stop looking at the pr0n.

    Them: ... But why would looking at porn hurt my computer?

    Me: * Blink. *

    Them: No seriously, I mean I look at sport scores, newspapers and stuff too.

    Me: Not only am I 100% positive it's your endeavors to find more and more fucked up shit to get off to, you're probably going to have to get a new computer.

    Them: Has this ever happened to you, what do I do?

    Me: No it has not happened to me. I don't look at porn for a variety of reasons, one of them being every single person I have ever met who has had a problem with their computer it is related to said porn.

    • you had me up to the point where you said you didn't look at porn... you... dirty... liar. :)– turk_1821/8
      redtube has no malware flav'

      im sure you knew that      – applepirate2/8
      Nah, actually I don't look at pr0n to be honest. We've had discussions about this.– flavorful3/8
      +1 then, flav. :)– turk_1824/8
      On teh PVN over the years. I'm not sure if FFFFound is considered pr0n but at times it's all I see when, "You may like these images."– flavorful5/8
      "You may like these images."– flavorful6/8
      It doesn't mean I'm not a sick fucking bastard though, haha.– flavorful7/8
      hmmm... +1 again. :)– turk_1828/8
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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:46 a.m. – Permalink
  • applepirate

    HR: can you fix this old PC we have in the closet. We need to set it up for an intern. it should have an old adobe suite on it so.... thats all they need right?

    me: your giving an intern a busted PC to use?

    them: well we cant afford to buy a mac every time we get another person like YOU in here.

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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:49 a.m. – Permalink
  • harlequino

    Mom: I don't see the site updates you were supposed to do for our group's site.

    Me: They are there trust me. Hit Refresh a few times on your browser.

    Mom: I don't know what this Refresh thing is you're talking about. I don't have a "browser," this is a PC. Just do the site changes before rehearsal tonight.
    PS...what do you want for Xmas?

    Me: Look. They are done, believe me. Look at the top of your screen at the buttons. Hot some of them. It's ok, really.

    Mom: I'll look later, but i don't think I have the same stuff on this computer that you do. Remember to think about Xmas too.

    Me: ....

    (*In all fariness, this is specific to moms, and we all have these conversations, but it's in the same spirit.)

    • A good gift to you would be for her to take some computer lessons at the local community college. :)– turk_1821/3
      been down that road, trust me– harlequino2/3
      hahaha yea. They like the idea of computers, just not all that thrilled about how or why they work. :D– flavorful3/3
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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:50 a.m. – Permalink
  • flavorful

    My favourite is when my mother calls me, and I explain why nothing is showing up on her computer, or vanished as she seems to forget about Windows' Taskbar all the time, haha.

    For non-porn related issues, and issues that are related to the software I've developed I'm actually pretty sane in explanation and will say the same thing three times in different ways until it actually dawns on them to do what I'm saying.

    I have a lot more disdain for people who don't know how to use e-mail. Those people drive me nuts.

    01. People who don't set up reminders on their Meeting Requests.
    02. People who don't look at your Calendars to see your unavailble.
    03. People who write their entire e-mail in the subject line.
    04. People who do not write a subject line, nor have text in their e-mail, but have a Word Document attachment.
    05. People that do not understand the reasoning behind CC.
    06. Anyone from the HR Department.

    • I want to draft an office memo with the subject line "For all Non-Porn Related Issues."– harlequino1/2
      +1 for HR hatred. HR tiff's have cost me 2 jobs. HR should be kept FAR away from "creatives"– applepirate2/2
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    Dog-earNov 24, 08, 9:50 a.m. – Permalink

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