Breakups
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- jruggs
Going thru one now...7 years together..I lived with her for 2 yrs..she has 2 kids - 13 and 16 yrs old..they were kinda spoiled..we were engaged going to buy a house but i bailed for very stressful issues...i feel like a coward but i had to make a move to clear my head..dont know if it can be reconciled ..im trying to keep busy but its been very painful...tryin to stay creative ...any advice or creative projects to stay busy would be much appreciated....
- studderine0
breaking up is so hard to do, do do do do, man o man its something i hate to do, do do do do, feeling lonely is lonely dude, do do do do
- < sorry to make light of the situation..but i find that helps.studderine
- digdre0
ouch. I wish you good luck and stay busy. spoiled kids are never good. look at me.. pffft.
try doin some painting
- imnotadesigner0
im goin through the exact same thing.
Minus the kids. We were engaged. And we own a house together.
I called it off for the same reasons.- I know how you feel.imnotadesigner
- own a house togther? ouchLlyod
- yup. We actually have an appointment to sign off the mortgage on Friday.imnotadesigner
- studderine0
i suggest getting help from a friend or something.
- Llyod0
7 years? if it hasn't happened by year 3 it's not going to happen
- If what hasnt happened? Marriage?imnotadesigner
- interesting.studderine
- yes, marriageLlyod
- not true.vespa
- marriage is an old skool ideablackspade
- not true.TheBlueOne
- anything after 3 years and you've admitted defeatLlyod
- spendogg0
see a therapist
- turk_1820
ugh... tough news...
... can't say I've ever been in that exact spot either - but I know you shouldn't dwell on it as if you're a 'coward' - that's not going to help you get through it...
I was engaged once a few years back - no kids involved... but the situation proved itself to be really difficult to move forward with... so I backed out... and it WAS the right thing to do - because we wouldn't have been happy - and I'm pretty sure that's what matters here - right?
- studderine0
start a band and shout about it.
- sputnik20
sorry about your rough time jruggs, it sounds very painful. take it one step, meal, day at a time and keep supportive friends and family with you.
imo, this is always why it's a bad idea to merge financially unless you're married. it makes a breakup much messier than it has to be.
- morilla0
exercise, pick something up that you haven't done in awhile, channel it to create personal projects ( music, art, design). Do whatever it takes to keep your mind busy. Take the negative and make it a positive.
or if that fails, drinking and drugs.
- tasty0
dont hit the bottle.
do what morilla said above.
- WeLoveNoise0
just happened to me to mate
i believe they call it the 7 YEAR ITCH - best piece of advice i can give is get on with work and try go out with mates and have a laugh.Time is a great healer - believe me
- sputnik20
if you can take a few days off and take a trip, visit family or whatever, it might help. a change of scenery always does some good.
- XB120
I've been there. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your relationship. Out of sight, easier to get out of the mind. Erase all emails, block on IM, erase her number from your phone. Do not contact her for 3 months. It's the quickest way to get rid of the pain.
Even though you don't feel like it, go out with your friends (NOT to girl hunt ... hit up art galleries or go to something that will inspire design).
- tedismyfav0
Just went through the same thing with my guy. Not nearly that long and no engagement but still believed he was the one I was supposed to be with.
I'd say stick close to a few good friends when you need extra help but other then that just take some time to be alone and clear your mind. It's a process you have to go through, you can't skip steps even if you want to. Don't feel like a coward...if you broke it off it was for a reason at least at the core that it didn't feel right.
I did also return all my ex's stuff. Burned pics to a cd and removed anything and everything that would be a constant reminder. The only wat to heal healthily is to start fresh. Remember what was good but don't forget to remember what was bad. Trust your decision was correct.
DO NOT attempt to drink it away or numb it. Thats temporary and eventually it'll come back and you'll have to deal down the road making it harder. Just keep keepin on and you'll be ok....I swear.
- and if not...email me and i'll talk to you about it. Always helps to have outside perspective.tedismyfav
- jruggs0
I cannot thank you guys enough for the support..I will reread theses post when the night comes(depression usually hits me hard at night)...i feel like my 9-5 is helping me stay busy but as soon as i leave...boom im down an out...i have been drinking but only with a few good friends to have a laugh and stop thinking about her an the kids for a couple hours...im not drinking alone/heavily and am trying to stay disciplined when it comes to that and my creativity..again thx alot all.....btw, listening to bukowski has a strange healing effect on me now too...
- I know where you're coming from, I've just come out of a terrible painful breakup.brains
- toochie0
Woah, I am in a similar situation. 8 years, not married, no kids. I am moving out this weekend.
It’s due to his substance abuse.We made an offer on a house, and that night he didn’t come home (Which happens once in a while, I’m used to it). I was afraid that I made a huge mistake.
Then, 6 weeks ago there was a particular incident that scared the hell out of me. This is when I decided to move out.
He’s been sober ever since. This was all I’ve wanted for years...now that it’s here I feel relived, exhausted and angry.
I told him I needed time to clear my head, re-evaluate and let go of my anger.After all that, I still feel guilty b/c he really wants to work it out. Ugh, what a saga!
- jruggs0
ughh yea i hear that! im a serial dater too...ive been in a relationship nonstop since like 8th grade(end one relationship-start up another within at least a month)..im 30 now and im in 22nd grade..so ive NEVER been alone..its kinda scaring the hell out of me but i hope that fear will turn to confidence sometime soon
- harlequino0
What are your intentions as far as a continued relationship with these kids? You've been in their lives for a long time now. Not that I would know the nature of your relationship with them, but I hope this isn't the last they see of you.
Unless they think you're an asshole now which could, no offense, could be the case given their age and the situation.