Please Crit.
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- detritus0
Feels empty, incomplete.
Like the blue void of some future arctic.
- Also, your timetable makes little sense. Where and what is the flapper? (don't answer - I don't care - your punters might)detritus
- i did say details to be confirmed, and the flapper is a well known venue in my cityrybo
- ok then, 'your timetable looks like shit'. Better? re: 'flapper - Never assume anything.detritus
- Sorry, that was uncalled for.detritus
- AAHHHH! YOU FUCKING CUNT!
...sorryepigraph
- creative-0
I'd lose the ">>" and make some of the text bold to give it some depth. Also, I'd consider increasing the tracking on the text that is reversed out of the black panel to make it a bit more legible.
One other thing, does the 'Platform Promotions' have to be so big?
- rybo0
The client is 'Platform Promotions' and have stated they want it across the whole of the flyer/poster.
the timetable is off and i will correct it when the number of bands are confirmed all the times and so on.
- detritus0
Fair enough, you don't have all the details to hand, but don't let that stop you finishing up your work. If you don't have details, make them up - it's hard for 3rd parties to crit your stuff if it's incomplete.
Your timetable needs more structure - either chronological or merely aesthetic. At the moment, it's just a bunch of words and times flung into a black box.
Fair enough, you know what the 'Flapper' is - someone from the next town along, or someone new to the city might not. You don't need full details, just something to clarify - "the Flapper, Main Street' or their web address, or .. well, anything. Never assume your audience is in full receipt of all the facts. That way loss of business lies.
What's the overall concept here, if any? I can't see anything - it's a mal-rended mish-mash of minimalism and shape, but without any feeling or heart - hence why I said it feels empty. It doesn't represent anything, nor is it appropriately minimal and well-designed enough to stand out on its own, doing nothing.
Maybe Platform Productions are well known.. but even so - what sort of music is this? Waltz? Samba? Dirty Basslicks from Sarf Landan?
- 0000000
flap flap flap
(sorry couldn't resist )
- epigraph0
mix it up with the type. Everything doesn't have to be in the same typeface or font. I Agree with the above, that the text needs more weight.
Also it looks like you got right on the computer, and didn't take any time to come up with a concept.
I'm sure all these bands have personality. I'm sure the event has a certain atmosphere. Let it come through in the design!
- kev_charlton0
The line-up section is all over the place. Needs tidying up big time!
I agree with most of the previous comments, the type needs work (bit bland at the mo), and the Platform Promotions bit is way too big. Stick it at the bottom and explain why it shouldn't be prominent...be strong!
The bands names don't stick out at all, and there the only reason anyone would attend.
Needs work.
- Yeah the people want to see bands, the venue is secondary.epigraph
- epigraph0
Other than that though, it looks great. =)
- tank020
Besides the style, that has been done & done,
i tought you where a 'groundbreaking' designer?
There is no structure & hierarchy,
the flyer doesn't stand out in a single way.
play with typo & image to make a good mix
between the informative & the evocative.
See below for an example,
from what you call the 'corporate' mediocracy- *polite round of applause from the back* hear! hear!detritus
- i always get the backbenchers to applaud ;)tank02
- As a fellow back bencher, I applaud you tank, well put!uncle_helv
- nice, mister tank.jimzyk
- rybo0
all the comments are very valid and the narrative is the music is very simple and modern the 'abstract shapes' are the silouette of the building 'the flapper' lol
i totally agree with the comments about the line up. needs alot of work, they have to go in that order because thats the order they come out the times need to be confirmed.
in response to tank02 all my work can't be groundbreaking and the client hasn't gave me much creative freedom, its alright saying be strong and convince then (educate them about design) but people are suborn.
this is what they used to use.
and they loved there branding and flyers before.
- now ur contradicting what uv said in previous threadsliveforever
- branding? this isn't branding.doesnotexist
- spellcheck.jimzyk
- liveforever0
well rybo where do i start........... haha
have to agree with detritus and tank02 and yourself in some way cos like u say u have set urself up for it.i do like the colour scheme that uv used but the information design has lacked bigtime. My senses tell u uv liked what uv done so far, so uv got excited and uploaded it for the mercy of QBNers before uv even come close to finishing it.
- epigraph0
The example you've shown is better than the one you have done in my opinion. There is a theme and the logo makes sense. (even if it's not original)
- moamoa0
btw: I hate it when someone writes
designed by:
on a flyer
- u found ur arch enemy or somethingWeLoveNoise
- usually means they didn't get paid very much.epigraph
- I found a new pyramd / foutymoamoa
- Imagine - a pyramid of fouty.
Standing testament to man's folly for 6 thousand years.detritus - ah yestank02
- epigraph0
Hey tank02 I saw the typeface on your splash page in computer arts. Did you design it?
- where? linkmoamoa
- nono, thats one from marjan bantjes, called 'restrained'tank02
- yeah thats it..it's real nice. How does it produce all that swirly stuff? Is it an alternate?epigraph
- wel i dunno, but it only costs 30 euros, its not an alternate but there are various links for the letters to make them 'fit'tank02
- janne760
make it more exciting! it is boring, ffs!!!
- TheBlueOne0
needs more garlic
- jasontroj0
I never put my name on a flyer.
- Dr_Rand0
a few quick suggestions:
left align all text
names/times smaller
names bold
- cramdesign0
Colors are nice but... the bands/times are way too loose though the way the poster is, they are designed to be the focal point. Left align with all on an obvious grid. Though it is a minimalist approach, all of the boxes and spaces between boxes and the edge of the flier makes for a lot of edges making it sort of busy but busy with the things that are not important. I sort of like the little bit of chaos you allowed for the title... go with it more. Don't let that part be so safe.
oh well, good luck. Clearly you have the ability to do it. Don't blame the problems on the client though... once you know the obstacles you know the path to success. Use them to your advantage and make it work for you not just be an excuse for not doing your best.
- that thing about obstacles sounds good on paper, but it's not always that easy.epigraph
- truecramdesign
- thank you cramdesign.
rybo