Fav Onion Stories
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- whut0
Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passerbys were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
- fooler0
The Blockbuster Video Living Museum offers tourists a glimpse of how Americans rented movies before the advent of services like Netflix and iTunes.
- ian0
I lol'ed:
http://www.theonion.com/content/…
- mg330
My favs are always the pictures with headlines and no actual article.
Two that I love are:
Michelin introduces tires for women.
(picture of geo tracker with pink tires)Nabisco introduces new "Extreme Salt Assault" Saltines
(picture of box with crackers and huge chunks of salt, with the tagline "Blast Your Blood Stream!")
- acescence0
herbert kornfeld from accounts receivable
- mg330
True story:
I was reading the Onion on the subway once, and was reading an article with the headline '13 year olds' plan for entire afternoon is to smoke cigarettes." It had a picture of these young kids sitting inside a concrete tube at a playground.
Anyhow, an old lady was sitting next to me, and I started to notice this look on her face, sneaking a read of the article and basically just looking really confused/dismayed/horrified. She 100% thought it was a real newspaper.
- odinie0
http://www.theonion.com/content/…
One of my all time favorites.
- capsize0
black guy asks america for change
- designbot0
"Biologist discovers he has been working on Cadbury Egg"
- GreedoLives0
- my favekelpie
- "The two were able to keep from urinating in their space suits long enough to collect soil and rock samples..."GreedoLives
- Probably The Onion's finest moment...skwiotsmith
- Drno0
this is onion material
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US President George W. Bush says he stopped playing golf in 2003 out of respect for the families of Americans killed in the war in Iraq."I don't want some mum whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf," Mr Bush said in an interview with Yahoo and Politico.com.
"I feel I owe it to the families to be as - to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal," he said.
Mr Bush said his last round of golf was in August 2003 when he was informed that a truck bomb had wrecked the UN headquarters in Baghdad, killing 22 people, including UN envoy Sergio Vieira de Mello.
"They pulled me off the golf course and I said 'it's just not worth it any more to do'," Mr Bush said.
- ahahahahaha!
Oh wait, its true? * shudders and continues to stockpile food and armaments...ian
- ahahahahaha!
- mandomafioso0
Don King Enjoys Grandilomentitudinous Sandwich
LAS VEGAS—Boxing promoter Don King described himself as "outrighteously mesmerated" by a deli sandwich served to him at the Treasure Island Casino’s V.I.P. dining room Saturday. "The meatumental pastramification of this pumpernickelously toastified bread was augmenticized by slatherfication in sumptuous Switzerlander cheesiness," raved King following the meal, "and expertaciously mayonnaised by a condimental Hellmanifestation of sand-wich-Kraft-Miracle-Whiplash proportions that thrillified me down to my delicatesticles." King also praised the sandwich's generous helping of onions, lettuce, and pickles, offering its maker his "Undulatronic Spamboozled Donkey Kongratulations. Gumpzilla."
- flavorful0
OH MY G-D I FOUND IT!!!
http://www.theonion.com/content/…
- harlequino0
"I Must Take Issue With The Wikipedia Entry For 'Weird Al' Yankovic"
http://www.theonion.com/content/…
- flavorful0
My one cousin works at the Onion. :D
- flavorful0
There is this one Onion Article ... that I haven't been able to find.
I had like three people send me the link to it with the comment, "I didn't know you wrote for the Onion" as it was this opinion piece on how this one guy not only thinks he is better than everybody, but knows it.
It was great. Unfortunately I have no idea how to find it, because I can't remember the guy's name and my guess is this is like 2003 or 2004, or maybe earlier. :X