shortest time spent at a new job
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- JackRyan0
About two hours. While I was going to school I got hired at Target as their electronics department manager, I went through their mind numbing training session...and just went home. I actually got a check from them a month later for the two hours I was there.
- CALLES0
2 days with a very hot but crazy girlfriend... she was a fucking nut job
- mrdobolina0
I sold hot dogs on a downtown corner for 40 minutes one time.
- kona0
half a day. i worked as a maintenance man (assistant) when i was 16 for the local forest preserve. first day of work i came in still drunk, smelling of booze and an absolute wreck. within the first hour i threw up at least 4 times, 5 when i came across a dumpster with a poached deer carcass in it. it's a good thing i didn't know what half that inside shit was i was looking at or i think i would have puked worse. the icing on the cake happened when i was painting a shed. i went to paint underneath the awning and a spider the size of my fist came at me. i jumped straight out off the ladder from 10 feet up and landed on my back. i limped to my car and drove home. fuck that. i fucking hate spiders. i got to puke on a huge ant hill though. that was cool.
- gramme0
I worked for the most unskilled, complacent and creepy creative director ever at a crap agency back east for 6 weeks. I got fed up almost immediately, didn't even put in a full 2 weeks notice. Staying there would have equalled career suicide.
- ornj0
2 weeks at a grocery store. I came in one day only to have them look at me confused and telling me that they over staffed and had laid me off, I should have gotten a phone call (didnt). They told me I could work the day and pick up my pay. I asked if it was ready now and when they said yes I just went over to the manager, took my pay, grabbed a box of lucky charms and walked off. fuck em.
- kona0
two jobs ago maybe?... the cd was a certifiable nutcase, someone at the company overheard me talking to another designer about one of the PMs interviewing for a new job. they must have thought i was talking about me interviewing for a new job. they told the CD and instead of coming to me she posts my job online, in the very same place i found the job in the first place, only a month into me working there. i of course saw it because i just so happened to be looking for a new job and the shit hit the fan.
- you should have applied for your own jobe at the moment!!!CALLES
- wtf?!? i hit CLEAR... I HIT CLEAR! i wasn't even done explaining! fuck!kona
- that thought crossed my mind CALLES but i didn't want to burn any bridges. i quit the next day. i just walked out.kona
- out of everyone you should now this. Its always fine to burn a bridge or two in the sake of good comedy. AlwaysCALLES
- *Know thisCALLES
- yeah well, that's the place that i left all 500 of my cards 'hidden' throughout the company. i still get emails from...kona
- the guys there saying they're finding them. and that was almost 2 years ago. :)kona
- hahaCALLES
- TheBlueOne0
1.5 hours at a grocery store in high school. When the manager tried to power trip by saying "You'll lick the toilet bowl clean if I ask you to..." I wadded up the dumb A&P apron threw it at his head and told him to suck my sack. Then he chased me outta of the store and then I asked him if I'm getting paid for my hour and half...I think that guy is still there...
- BonSeff0
1 day @ this crappy agency back in november, then the next place a month later i walked after 4 days..
- kerus0
3 hours. landscaping.
i straight up got tired of pulling up grass with a trowel and just walked through the woods to a main road and found a ride home- that's something I would doLlyod
- are you mexican?Llyod
- nos, i was desperate for cash tho. apparently not THAT desperate.kerus
- awesome story. wish there were some woods by my office. I'd walk through that shit and try to find a ride to the CaribbeanPoint5
- that's really, really funny. i bet the cohen brothers could make a 2 hour movie of itenjine
- Meeklo0
bank robbers should be able to answer this one...
- Jaline0
2 months.
- Llyod0
2.5 weeks
- ninjasavant0
4 days: Took surveys in the mall. When I picked up my check at the end of the week they asked "What days can you work next week?" My reply was "I'm never working here again."
- That's the kind of thing I avoid. Anything to do with interacting with other customers / people.Jaline
- Oh fuck. When I was in college I did a door-to-door survey thing. I only lasted one day, and I really didn't have my heart in it after lunch.AndyRoss
- yeah, I wouldn't put me in front of peopleninjasavant
- AndyRoss0
As a freelancer, I can say that some jobs I've worked on have lasted less than 3 hours. And some of those 3 hour jobs took considerably more than 40 hours of sales work to get!
Of course, since I had put more than 40 hours in, I had to bill them for a week of my time. People should just surrender sooner; I could charge less!
- utopian0
- what are these guys doing?Llyod
- Repairing and or modify the electronic signal strength of the antenna on top of the Empire State Building.utopian
- I wonder how many days the first day jitters lastLlyod
- i'm sure they wake up every night screamingsikma
- oh dammit, there goes the vertigo. time to vomit into the trash can...StratusGD
- Frying their testicles with microwaves while avoiding falling to their death.TheBlueOne
- kerus0
ohhh and there was this time i got an offer to work for an art gallery........ and when i got there it was actually an art print company...... door to door cold sales of fucking print knockoffs.....
i hung out through the free pizza & orientation, then laughed and walked out in the middle of the peptalk- And thereby surrendering over $2 million is commissions to cute little scumbags who actually believe.AndyRoss