Bad Coffee
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- brains
I've been coming to work at 6am every morning so I haven't had time to get my regular americano from my favorite coffee shop. Today I made coffee in the urn at work and it tastes like it was smuggled into North America in a semi-truck tire.
- CALLES0
you reheated?
- PonyBoy0
let it sit a day... then reheat it.
- PonyBoy0
hahaha, calles. :)
- CALLES0
i posted this before... but its always goo
I'll Drink Starbucks If I Want, You Stupid Hippies
As if the exorbitant rent prices weren't enough, part of the price of living in San Francisco is putting up with an endless stream of hippie bullshit. Even though there are more protests here than there are ATM machines, I'm usually pretty good about blocking out the stupid signs and bullhorned babbling of a bunch of morons with nothing better to do. However, this morning, as I was walking out of Starbucks with my coffee, still bleary-eyed and half-asleep, some dumb anarchist-punk-hippie-activist" yells at me, "KEEP SUCKING THAT CORPORATE COCK!"
Once the desire to sear her face with my hot coffee finally subsided, I laughed at her and moved on, meditating on the mind-shattering stupidity of both her statement and her entire existence. See, San Francisco is full of these sneering, self-righteous assholes who think the fact that they choose to drink shitty coffee from some mom-and-pop place that can only afford to brew a fresh pot every six hours, somehow makes them some kind of anti-corporate hero.
Being anti-Starbucks is the fucking lamest thing I've ever heard of. It's a coffee shop for chrissakes, not a fascist military-industrial complex. Know why there are so many Starbucks, why they're "taking over the world"? Because they serve good fucking coffee and people tend to like things that are good! So you can sit around your favorite "local coffee house" listening to shitty spoken word open mics and plotting your meaningless protests to overthrow capitalism, but I'm still going to be drinking the fuck out of my Venti Sumatra blend long after the entrepreneurially retarded hippies who run your place finally have to close up shop to make way for another glorious green and black Starbucks, motherfuckers. And I will piss all over your stupid javahouse graves (and my pee will smell like sweet, sweet Starbucks coffee).
The fact is, most of the people who protest shit like Starbucks are only doing so because some emo band or Michael Moore or the Rainbow Coalition or whoever told them to. A few weeks ago, a group of "anarchists" marched through my neighborhood, the Mission (which is about as far from fucking gentrification as one can get in SF), protesting "corporate America". Why? Protesting corporate America in the Mission is like protesting Hitler in Jerusalem - pointless and obvious. Then, then brainiac protester-with-nothing-to-protes... beat up a cop for no reason, sending him to the hospital with a major head wound, and broke the windows of several LOCAL businesses. And they have the nerve to put up an announcement on the Internet soliciting bail money for the asshole who attacked the cop. I can't believe there's anything I could hate in the world more than cops, but I've found it: hippies. I'll take the entire porky precinct over a bunch of brainless activists any day of the week.
Once her life has turned into the impoverished, directionless wreck it is destined to become, I hope that bitch who yelled at me this morning ends up working at Starbucks, because I would love nothing more than sip a delicious Starbucks coffee while I watch the "corporate cock" plant itself permanently in her stupid mouth, mercifully plugging the endless river of retarded hippie rhetoric she seems so delighted to pollute the world with. And I hope its a Venti.
- could you draw a picture depicting this paragraph?... it's far too long.PonyBoy
- Funny. Too bad Starbucks coffee is balls.brains
- its worth it ponyCALLES
- HAHA! i read that a while ago in his blog. too funny. starbucks burns their beans which = burnt tasting coffee. i drink it though.kona
- keep sucking that corporate cock!CALLES
- Nice call, I like Starbucks they pay a large chunk of income :)weave
- *sears CALLES face with hot coffeekona
- lolCALLES
- brains0
No reheat. This coffee is "fresh".
- 7340
um, thats not an urn thats what ive been using as a dip cup, sorry if it tastes like tobacco... my bad
- invisiblechamber0
urn??? like the put ashes of dead people in urn? if my english is good enough, no wonder your coffee isn't.
- czawada0
- balls to you. wanna ship some to vic?brains
- wow! nice man.kona
- Mmm... fresh brewed. Stop by if you're in the area, 100% of profits go to charity.czawada
- where is it?brains
- Richards and Pender, on Richards... you can't miss it.czawada
- maybe I will. might need to go to van on business soon.brains
- i missed it about 5x last time i went looking for CZ @ Taxi.horton
- Jugarelly0
Bad coffee pisses me off. The only place within walking distance of my office has the worst coffee, and they charge more than Starbucks.
- seed0
The worst coffee I've had was from a hotel. I'm sure you've had similar coffee before. It tasted like old burnt leaves. I dpn't even know how you could ruin cofee like that.
- brains0
I think I'm going to start being that high maintenance guy who brings his own beans, burr grinder and stovetop coffee maker for the ol' hotplate.
- 7340
we have a keurig machine in the office... seems like the same old shit just more expensive... but i dont pay for it, so who am i to complain
- GreedoLives0
I think the main thing about starbucks is how much they charge for their coffee and that weird made-up coffee culture they're pushing...
(but i drink it too)- fucking double tall latte: $4
double should be no extra charge for latteRandd
- fucking double tall latte: $4
- billl0
drink dudo's dood
- dudo's has bad coffee, i think. just tastes crappy, like motel coffee.GreedoLives
- i agree. however manage to convince myself otherwise almost dailybilll
- brains0
they don't charge that much.. at a good coffee shop the prices are pretty much on par unless you get those fuckin' crazy lattes.
- 7340
fun science experiment... bring in shredded tire and let people at the office brew it. note where anyone notices a difference