Funerals
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- 23kon0
soda
sorry to hear about you losing a friend of many years.from the conversation in this thread you've already got some material to say.
part of what you say could be explaining that you asked a bunch of friends what you should say and someone suggested reading a poem and you said that your mate wouldve ripped the piss out of you for reading a poem at his funeral.
its not as crass as trying to get a joke into there (as not everyone will appreciate a joke) but the people that will have known him on the same level that you did will find it funny.
hope it goes well
- grunttt0
sorry to hear the news soda. you must have been a dear friend to have been asked to speak at his funeral. i can't give you any advice that has not already been mentioned above, i just wish you strength. take care.
- Rand0
I did it at my dad's memorial. my technique was, read from page until overcome with emotion, stop, wait until I could speak again, start again, until finally, a long time later, I was done. Some asshole watching the ordeal commented, "why did they make him do this?"
- soda0
Rand, I really feel for you there lad. Can't imagine what that would be like.
- bulletfactory0
I played guitar at a funeral - got through it fine, but it was a bit uncomfortable at first.
- Rand0
thanks, soda, but it really was a great experience, despite its painfulness
my best to you
- Jaline0
Sorry for your loss, and just take it in a bit at a time. As most have already mentioned, everyone else in the room is probably feeling similar to the way you will be. Definitely celebrate it rather than just viewing the life as a loss.
Thankfully, I haven't had to do that yet. I would probably be the strongest on the outside out of my family, but in shambles on the inside.
- wendell0
sad to see this. life. i was asked(poss.over asked) :( for a song to sing on the funeral to my grandfather(Otniel in 2003. so i sing a song with the sister off me and niece together with my grandfathers new friend. we had a plan for harmony but in this setting harmony was so-oo hard. many voice going Gwaaayyyyk Gweeeeek..LALALALA.you know when you can see the nose on your face like it is fucking flaming! so we did it but as every body is so-oo overcome it is not so big a deal. i watch this video 1 time before i go on plane to england and this makes me feel more like life than any other as i feel on that day i was speaking, or singing to my grandfather as i did not have time say bye to him as he dies at the market of his home. after the singing there is of course many dictions to him and i said the prayer to the food, which i have not done in all my fucking life and i am just so dizzy on wine and high from the song, so i quit and say the poem i wanted to sing and i feel better:
You die so...
A tree has one outlet.
A tree has one outlet.
A tree has one outlet.
I cannot be awake for what has already died!
If i lose my branches in the winter, and my cave transmission dies.
My branches will make the root wires!
My branches will make root wires!
This is the banana tree that does not close, who would become a tree whose branches each year are awake.
- skt0
sorry soda.
- pascii0
too many young people die. prepare a good personal speech.
- _salisae_0
rip paul
:(
- soda0
I think I am going to sing Wendell's song.
Cheers skt I know you lost a friend a while back.
Thanks to everyone in advance, I'm off for an early night.
Catch you all next week for more entertaining conversationx
- dbloc0
I did a eulogy at my mom's funeral last year. That's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm glad I did it though. It makes you feel a little better about the situation.
- grunttt0
wow dbloc. i just can't imagine getting through that. i can barely get 3 sentences out about my mom and it's been 7 years.
i'm glad you were able to do that though. and sorry for your loss.
=)
- xenicon0
My father's had a lectern and a microphone which was positioned some distance from my mouth. I had no idea that half the room couldn't hear a word. Once I got started, I just rolled with the ocean swells, saying what I had to say.
A eulogy matters and doesn't matter. Its death I don't recommend. Every hour wounds, the last kills.
- TheBlueOne0
Sorry to hear about a funeral.
I spoke at my pop's funeral. Wasn't easy. Be funny, be touching. Focus on one or two personal things, make it a narrative. Write it down. Keep it short.
- Point50
I really don't attend funerals;l I truly avoid them by any means.
However, I did attend a funeral for my buddy's mom early last year. I hadn't even seen the guy or his family for about 9 years, and I got this phone call out of the blue about his mom passing. I went, and I cried. But I tell you what, his older brother got up and did the eulogy and it was the funniest/most sincere thing I have ever heard anyone say about another human being at the same time. It really was good and basically wrapped everything up on a good note.
- pski0
tips:
no kipling quotes
Start with a joke (really).
write it out - its ok to have notes. and spell & write phonetically - it helps.
no poems
don't say "I knew him"- it sounds like "even some of my best friends are ____ ". nobody knows anybody. try to describe what this person and this loss means to you.
ps. I was at a memorial (with the family in attendance) where "a good friend" got up at talked about how the deceased was Italian - he was Irish.
(I have this on file, 300+ in attendance)
This is what I said:
++++++
I'd personally like to thank everyone for coming. George told me that
if this affair wasn't standing room only that we should postpone
it. He didn't want to play to a half empty house.
(big pause)
When George first got sick
I kept trying to get some kind of understanding.
I came up empty.
(big pause)
Some one once said OF Lincoln's gettys
burg address -
which was a speech given at a memorial service of sorts -
that instead of getting up there and giving the "Four Score
and twenty years ago" spiel -
he should have just got up to the podium -
not said anything and just shook his fist
@ the sky.
(big pause)
I invited George to a small Christmas party we were having in Hoboken.
Their where not many people there.
I had a real hard time trying to buy presents for the friends I invited.
George came in a little late.
He had a large brown paper bag with him.
I was surprised -
I didn't tell him to bring anything.
At that time I knew him for about a year.
He knew the other people there for even less time than that.
He dug into the bag and pulled out presents for everyone there.
And they were great gifts, quirky funny and perfect gifts.
(big pause)
I came to know
later that George,
was a natural when it came to giving
(big pause)
I was born in Jersey City.
All my family is from Jersey City.
I did not grow up there.
But I would visit Jersey City twice a week -
everyweek, all my life.
I would think about living there -
hanging out with all my cousins who lived there.
When my life came full circle and I moved back to Hudson County
and I start palling around with George - I had the thought that
if I did grow up in Jersey City
and
I was real lucky -
he would have been one of my buddies.And as I got to know him
he started to fill in the gaps of the whole Jersey City experience for
me. And turns out he was a friend of my cousins.I was real lucky.
Thank you for listening.
++++++
- xenicon0
heartfelt
- blackspade0
i just had too last saturday actually, for my Nana. Also played a cat stevens song on the guitar for her, was pretty nerve racking
but i think the speaking is harder, take some deep breaths b4hand!