Quantas Airways List
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- OSFA
After every flight, Quanta's pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) And the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit ..P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from midget
- TheBlueOne0
I used to love those Quantas commercials with the koala bear...
- doesnotexist0
haha, that was a good read. where did you find these?
- OSFA0
a buddy of mine emailed it to me...I emailed him back. I'll let you know.
- jevad0
hahahahah
- Mick0
Drives me crazy when people spell Qantas incorrectly.
Although not as much when they use "to" where "too" should be used.
- k0na_an0k0
awesome.
that took me back on a nice journey to 1998. that one took a LONG time to make it's way across the internet.
- Jalines_brother0
OH BOY!
- Crouwel0
i wonder if pilots have their own newstoday.
- ants0
Drives me crazy when people spell Qantas incorrectly.
Although not as much when they use "to" where "too" should be used.
Mick
(Nov 29 06, 10:46)+50 Mick.
They're,their,there,to,two,too.