The Voodoo That You Do
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- kingjulien
Alright, my ex-girlfriend, who I haven't seen in two years, is flying in this evening to go to the Radiohead concert tomorrow in Berkeley. This morning I was overcharged for my espresso, had a frame fall off the wall and the glass crack randomly, and I just received notice that a freelance gig that I was all excited about yesterday fell through mysteriously because the "client" got let go (although it's hard not to overanalyze what happened behind the scenes).
I need a quick revearsal of fortunes so my weekend can go off without a hitch. Any suggestions in terms of sacred rituals, charms, or spells? I already tried rubbing the bald head of a Chinese kingpin, but I'm not feeling that at the moment, especially since the last time I did it the Red Sox lost four in a row. and all my parlaits went to shit.
Thank you in advance.
- Jaline0
opposing voodoo doll?
- Mimio0
Burn a natural skin drum.
- Mimio0
...or intercourse with a menstruating woman.
- zombiewoof0
There is no karmic fix unfortunately...just live as each day is your last.
soooo...one of my favorite Berkeley romps was to go to Cordonices Park (its just across the street from the Rose Gardens) Have a picnic, get buzzed...then make sure you have a roll of wax paper or better yet a flattened wax fruit box with you. On the west side of the park is an enourmous concrete slide built into the hill some 70 years ago. While the local punks are poking down on their pathetic corregated boxes, those with the wax edge simplily fly down..you may get injured.
- Mimio0
Also, I find it's nice in times like these to use the name of Jesus and rebuke the curse. Just as a reminder than it's all bullshit.
- ********0
cleanse wash you karma and soul through clarity of mind practices and right action. voodoo is not ompipotent, you are
- grayhood0
get a virgin to swallow a gold fish.
- dirtydesign0
get a virgin to swallow
- mayo0
cover your hand with Hershey syrup and then masturbate to George Michael's "Faith." Nothing fixes Life's crapbombs like chocolate.
- kingjulien0
I don't have any George Michael but I tried the Hershey thing with Islands in the Stream. Do you think that's a suitable replacement?
I hope so.
- radar0
pee on your feet in the shower so at least you won't get athletes foot
- kingjulien0
zombiewoof, surprisingly, I've never been to that park. I've hiked Tildon to death but never stopped near the Rose Garden. It sounds nice though.
- kingjulien0
pee on your feet in the shower so at least you won't get athletes foot
radar
(Jun 23 06, 12:09)That really works? Wow, I'm discovering all kinds of things today.
- mayo0
one of the things my mom tried to get me to do BUT I NEVER DID to get rid of puberty acne, was smear the blood from my period on the acne and let it sit over night. i NEVER tried it.
I'm, uh, all out right now, but if you want to try it, i'll send you some in about 3 weeks. I'm sure it will work for bad luck. I mean, *I'd* stay away from you and it's my own blood.
werd
- kingjulien0
mayo, i, um, well, uh, yeah. i think i'll pass.
but thanks for the offer!
- mayo0
it's always open.
the offer that is
HAHAHHAHAhahaa
- mayo0
kj, did i not tell you my mother was coo coo looney bins?
- radar0
It's supposted to, but I don't know if it actually works.
When girls ask why i'm peeing on their feet in the shower - I always tell them I'm helping prevent Athletes Foot