Assignment
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- kingjulien
Describe a phone call you wish you had made, but never did, or one that you'd like to have occur in the near future.
- ********0
kj this sounds a lot like 13 monkeys
- version30
once when I was governor of california, there was a death row inmate known as tookie, I was working out and completely forgot to make the call my secretary said there were papers for on my desk.
I wondered whatever happened to that guy.
- _salisae_0
oh like one of those salacious phone calls?
- kingjulien0
I guess it could be salacious, if that is what comes to mind when you consider calling California, but it could also be funny, sad, sweet, tender, absurd, obnoxious, mean, bitter, or vindictive. Actually the more vindictive the better.
What's 13 Monkeys?
- version30
he meant 12
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114…
- ********0
I'd like to call my old boss and tell him to f*ck off
- kingjulien0
I'd like to call my old boss and tell him to f*ck off
JazX
(Jan 31 06, 09:41)Care to elaborate in more detail?
- stevegee0
I'd like to call my current boss and tell them, (what Jazx said)
- fullerc0
I'd like to call my ex C.D. and tell her to (what Jazx said) for telling me...
"I think I'd be able to speak well of your creative talents. I'm not sure if I'd be the best reference for you if they want to discuss commitment and ambition."
The bitch wasn't to committed to this job once offered a position at another agency.
- ********0
ugh! i meant 12 monkeys!
phone calls from the past listened in the future.
- brooke0
"Miss Nuñez, you have just won the Illinois State Lottery!!!"
- kingjulien0
Cathy Russell speaking.
Mrs. Russell?
Yes?
Hi. This is Rob Simons. I used to be friends with your daughters back when we were kids.
Robert! How are you? I just read that article in the newspaper. I didn't know you wrote movies? How exciting!
Well, it's not that cool. I mean, I can't even afford to get my wisdom tooth yanked, and it's killing me right now.
Oh.........Well, I bet your mother was proud!
Well you see, that's why I was calling. A few years ago my mom revealed to me a conversation you had with her at the Wells Fargo counter, right in front of all the tellers, back when Bonnie and I were, I don't know, 18 or so. Do you remember that?
Um........
Well, let me remind you, Mrs. Russell. Evidently you hugged her, and then apologized and comforted her for the (alleged) problems I was having?
I did?
Yeah, I guess you mentioned that I had turned to drugs and was ruining my life and you were sorry for her and all that she was having to endure, and my mom was like, what are you talking about, woman? But you know, because you had planted that seed in her head, she got so worried, and angry -all for no reason - and felt like she had failed as a mother and the whole community was talking about her in this negative manner, which you know, kind of sucks, you know? Do you remember that talk?
Rob, I'm uncomfortable with the direction this call is going. I'm at work and....
But you see Mrs. Russell, I was always nice to you and your daughters, and even when you ballooned up to 270 pounds that year when you were our teacher's aide and the other kids were making chubby jokes I refused to...
Rob...
And when we discovered that your husband's name was Boner, and even though it's pronounced Bonner I never crank called you or wrote his name in shaving cream on your front window, like them other kids did.
Rob...
And when Bonnie went bald in 6th grade and huge chunks of her hair would fall out during class, and the other kids would call her Patches I would always defend her. Did you know that?
Well I uh.......
And when Jennifer started blowing black guys in the junior high girl's restroom I never considered telling my mother about it.
Okay, I'm hanging up. Good...
And when that sore developed on her upper lip and she had to quit cheerleading because of the ensuing alienation and the rest of the junior year she was home schooled and...(Click. Dial tone)
Hello? Mrs. Russell?
- kingjulien0
Hello?
Boris?
Yeah..
Your name is really Boris.
Who's calling?
Like Boris Yeltsin? Boris Becker?
Yeah, who's this?
Are you the writer slash photographer Boris, the one from the Ukraine via Houston?
I'm gonna hang up and trace this call.
Do you ever say cool things like Babushka?
Who the fuck is this!!??
Do you ever wear the Che Guavara beret when you go to galleries?
I'm gonna kill you!
Are you one of those slim shady Russians? Do you comb your hair forward and wear Fila jumpsuits?
What?
Are you the Boris that is now going out with Christina?
Oh, I see, so this must be Rob. How does it feel that I stole your woman?
Well, considering we broke up a year before she even met you, I wouldn't phrase it quite like that ,Uncle Vanya.
What do you want asshole?
When you were growing up, did you idolize Ivan Drago from Rocky 4?
You mean Dolph Lundgren?
Another classis name. Dolph.
Dolph and Boris. That has a sweet ring to it . All you need is a lover named Andrei and you guys can get a room at the bathhouse downtown for the special two hour rate.
What are you babbling about?
I just wanted to hear your voice, Boris, so i could figure out if you were blatantly stealing my ideas or I just had unconsicously conditioned Christina to only like the same type of guys?
What you say?
I saw those new photos Boris. Where did you get that concept from? Did it have anything to do with the photos Christina has hanging in her apartment?
You're pathetic.
Your name is Boris.Click.
- kingjulien0
Yeeoawwww!
Hello, son?
Yeeoawwww!
Hey, buddy, this is kingjulien.
Who?
You know, kj, from newstoday.
Who?
One, homie.
Huh?
One more day!
What are you talking about?
One more day and then it's black history month. Let the chaos begin!
What do you want?
Oh just to talk.
Um....
I just, I don't know, I've been bumping my own threads lately and nobody seems to be on the same wavelength and something told me to seek you out, you know, for some perspective.
Who are you again?
You know you kind of look like Redman? By the way, when is your album dropping?
Soon. Me and Lucky are just wrapping up the production.
I can't wait homie.
Well, yeah, I need to get running. Thanks for the call.
Are you brushing me off, son?
Huh?
Exactly.
What?
The kandinsky is painted on both sides.
Huh?
One love.
Oh, yeah, one.