One More Try
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- kingjulien
Disclaimer: it's long and depressing, and if you read till the end you might want to attack me.
----------------------------You don't think I see right through you? What am I, the fourth cam whore you've fallen for? Does the airlines give you a discount for this sort of thing?
When you become infatuated with a girl you can't really control the context of how it all came about.
But that doesn't change that it can't be more than this.
It could be anything.
I like you, but you're crazy.
Why do you make fun of my dreams.
Because all you do IS dream.
And why is that bad?
Because.
Because by itself isn’t an answer.
Let’s make some coffee.
Come to Portland with me.
Why?
We could be happy. We could get up on Sunday mornings for eggs and bacon and then go on long walks with our ski jackets and cameras. We could talk and laugh and cry together.
Have you used that speech before?
Probably.
You’re quite good at it.
Thank you.
You’re welcome. Now let’s get up.
You're scared.
Oh really?
What other explanation is there?
What if I just don't want to? What if I don't want YOU?
That would be devastating.
What if I know in 6 months you'll be saying the same thing to another girl?
What if I told you when I see your smile I know what it means to be alive?
I'd say we're not characters in some story of yours.
One of these days you'll change your mind and it'll be too late.
Maybe.
And yet you still won't take a chance?
I'm here now.
Yeah but in 7 days you'll be gone and all this will fade.
You'd think you'd know how to deal with it by now.
You can joke all you want, but that doesn't change that what I'm saying is sincere.
I know, and it’s cute, but still, I have issues you just don't want to deal with. Believe me.
Of course you do, but you're smart and you recognize them, and you know how to implement change.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Not to Portland.
What do you want me to say? Yes, I'll go back to Canada, pack my things, tell my mom I'm moving in with some stranger I met at a job
she doesn't even know I have (and if she did she’d disown me) and then just fly back? Is that how it's supposed to go?
Sure.
You don't even have a place or a job or anything. It's not as simple as you make it all seem.
All I need is you to say yes, and the rest will fall into place.
What if I don't?
Then I'll be crushed.
You'll survive.
Perhaps.
Then that settles it.
Okay.
Are you going to pout the rest of the trip?
What do you want me to say?
You could at least savior the time I'm here.
Okay.
Do you want me to go now?
No.
What do you want?
I want you to save me.
That is such a bad cliché.
Well then, let's just go back to sleep.
You're so dramatic. And silly.
You're so cold and calculating.
Kiss me you fool.
Go to sleep.
Don't be like that.
Let's just wake up tomorrow and pretend none of this happened.
It already is tomorrow.
Well then get me another pill because I can't stand this feeling in my stomach.
I love you. I hope you know that even as you begin to hate me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why would I lie?
Why do girls toss around that word so cavalierly?
By the end of the week you'll see how manipulative this smile is.
By the end of the week I'll be ready for Nurse Ratched.
You're really something.
Goodnight beautiful.
Goodnight.
- ********0
the king of the long non-PC posts...
ahhh you're a winner!
- ********0
what's depressing about it?
- bolus0
that was nice :)
- TenaciousG0
Two more posts and you've got yourself a collection of short stories...
- sherman0
what's depressing about it?
Rand
(Jan 5 06, 11:31)that im too lazy to read it
- ********0
Get a blog for chrisakes..
- ********0
if he gets a blog, nt will be a more boring place, and why would we want that?
- davi-t0
hmmmm.
- ross0
as always, thanks for taking me away from my cubicle for a couple minutes...
- _salisae_0
she's right you know
- Mal0
Bravo sir.
- ********0
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz