ms. moorehead
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- kingjulien
Since I miss dropping new stories in here on Fridays, and because I'm in the middle of moving--which means I might be underground for a little while without a computer, I thought I would leave you with this.
In high school I had this biology teacher named Ms. Moorehead. Prior to the first day, I told myself never to make a joke about it. Even at 16 I understood the implications of a badly timed comment. I knew she had been teased incessantly her whole life, she had to have been, and it would have been terribly crass to blurt out some sarcastic remark in the middle of lecture without knowing her well enough to get away with it. The problem was, growing up I was one of those kids who always had to be the smart ass--the cocky bastard who tried to get a rise out of folks just because (actually, even now, I haven't evolved as far s I'd like). Therefore, all summer I told myself, look, even if you hate this teacher, don't say anything about her name. This is dangerous territory, dude, one sexual innuendo and you'll be spending Saturdays with Judd Nelson and the teacher who raided Barry Manilow's wardrobe.
And yet realistically, how long do you think it took before something slipped? One month? A quarter? No way. It took five fucking minutes before I blew it. I'm serious, I was so lame. She took roll, introduced herself, and the next thing you know, as I'm saying to myself, dude, put your hand down, are you crazy?-- there I was, accidentally calling her "Gimme" with a straight face, Gimme fucking Moorehead, and just as quickly there I was, referral in hand, on my way to the Vice Principal's office, where I earned the most dubious honor one could aspire to, that being the fastest kid ever to receive a 3 day suspension in the history of John F Kennedy High school.
- jox0
Hahah, took longer than I thought though! ^_^
- radar0
A nice vacation, id it ever happen again?
- tank0
hehe. i still hold that record in my old school
the first day of school.
and i got detention in detention on several occasions.
- garettwest0
Was she hot?
I wasn't in the yearbook in our high school class senior photo. It was a tradition to get the entire class together and take a photo. In ever photo (quite a few) I had casually slipped my hand down the front of my pants in the front row.
I got a 3 day suspension and was in detention for a week. They had to photoshop a bunch of cutouts of people around the outter edge of the photo and over me. I wasn't even on that page at all.
Mrs. Smith (the lady behind the yearbook and English lit) hated the hell out of me. I think the tension was sexual. ha.
- kingjulien0
A nice vacation, id it ever happen again?
radar
(Jul 8 05, 13:22)
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well, since you inquired, now that she's my baby's mama four times over, she's trying to get me to marry her, so her legal name can be gimme moorehead julien.i can only imagine how beautiful that would look on our christmas stationary.
- garettwest0
hahaha!
- kingjulien0
yeah, i tried the hands down the pants thing for one hs yearbook photo too, except it was jennifer routhier's pants in front of me, and her mother didn't find it funny, even two years later when i showed up stoned at their house for junior prom.
- radar0
I always got kicked out for smoking ciggs and fighting, I was a little smart mouth punk too.
- uberdesigner0
wasn't this story originally told by milton berle to bob hope in 1951 at the copacabana?
- kingjulien0
ubercock, how's being this clever working out for you?
- uberdesigner0
nicely, massive self-gratification
- tank0
king julien
don't you quoting fightclub,ok ;)
- kingjulien0
well then good for you, cool guy.
- uberdesigner0
please write more stories about you banging strippers named madison. seriously.
- kingjulien0
I was almost complete...
- kingjulien0
please write more stories about you banging strippers named madison. seriously.
uberdesigner
(Jul 8 05, 13:53)
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i know, i know, i'm a bad cliche. liquor, whores and angst, you see right through me.
- uberdesigner0
no really dude, I want more stories about strippers.