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- kingjulien
1.) Why do softball players scare me, even attractive ones? Am I secretly worried about losing an arm-wrestling challenge? Do I just not like getting socked in the shoulder playfully after a bad joke? Should I mention that I bruise easily?
2.) I don't watch much TV, but the times that I do, like the Saturday before returning to work from a 2 week vacation, I'd like to view something besides Cribs, Next and the Marky Mark E Hollywood special. I always thought if I was a TV executive, I'd have a channel committed to quality programming 24 hours a day. From reruns of It's Your Move with Jason Bateman and Spencer for Hire to the 1984 Lakers Celtics finals, I don't think it's that difficult to entertain viewers at all times. You could maybe even throw in some A&E style mob documentaries and have Saturdays committed to coke era Chevy Chase, with Fletch always the feature attraction. Is Tom Selleck doing anything besides NRA keynote addresses? Could we get him and Edward James Olmos to compete in a reality show where they spend the entire half hour grooming and comparing mustaches? Mmmm....this could be big.
3.) Girl farting is never funny. Right?
4.) How can I call Dave Mathews fans gay and make fun of my roommate for getting a massage from another guy and then grill tofu for dinner with a clean conscience?
5.) If I walk out to my car with my shirt off, will the girls across the street think I'm a chauncey? Will they laugh when I go back in? Do I spend way too much time thinking about these things? Yes, I think I do.
6.) Why isn't Nipsey Rusell a bigger star? Have you seen him in Wildcats as Goldie Hawn's Principal? Must I say more?
7.) Who's hotter, Katie Holmes or Nicole Eggert in Charles in Charge?
8.) How come by the end of these lists I always want to insert something sad and pointless?
9.) Is it wrong that I want to beat up the baldheaded girl at Starbuck's? I know I'm not the only one she's condescending to, but why does it bother me so? Why do I even go to that store? Do Arnold and Maria really go there?
10.) Wouldn't it be nice if one of these times I had something useful to offer?
- save0
you talk too much.
- kingjulien0
thank you
- lnu0
1. Making fun of other people for beeing gay or for being ghey for other reasons than ther sexuality is actually more ghey than being gay.
2. Being a vegetarian is not the same as being gay, and if your friends think that it's ghey to be vegetarian, then that means that they don't respect you and maybe you should find some new friends.
3. Girl farts are always funny. Of course, I am one of those who think that boy farts are almost always funny, but girl farts are always funny and most of the time they're funnier than boy farts.
- gruntt0
kj - sorry man... girl farts are almost always funny.
=)
hope you're having a good weekend.
- kingjulien0
I'm glad that was cleared up...
- kingjulien0
you too, gruntt....
cheers
- instantok0
nicole eggert...my god charles in charge was the best show ever...i was so in love with her...now buddy is "bible man" and wears purple tights cuz he found jesus after the coke was all gone
- kingjulien0
yeah, i prefer to remember buddy as tommy bradford on eight is enough, but that's just because his perm was so epic then.
- lnu0
I'd watch your Tv-channel.
- ********0
1) Because your afraid to fully accep heterosexuality. It's similar to some people being homophobic, so you could say your heterophobic which is similar but less discussed extreme.
2) Programing is programing, theres a reason for the recipie so leave the chef's to the cooking.
3) Both girl and guy farts are funny. Poop is also funny. Enter the 21st century and don't question lifes little's oddities.
4) Your a hypocrite and at least you can see it.
5) Don't be concerned with what others think of you so long as your not harming anyone by your behavior.
6) The answer to this question is in the 9th word from the last.
7) Nicole Eggert. If your going to be brainwashed by someone may as well be Scott Baio over Tom Cruise. (I'm Tom Cruise!!!).
8) Since you mention the end in particular, it may have something to do with finding closure and being comfortable ending a rant, post, or similar.
9) Yes it's wrong. She's playing her role and thats what she does, leave her be. I'm sure Arnold and wife go to Starbucks. Do keep in mind he is 1/3 of Planet Hollywood.
10) You offer us insight into your life which comes off as being quite honest. That in itself is a refreshing change and quite usefull.
I like your writing KJ and always read your posts. I've also read your website. My advice would be not to worry so much about others accepting you or your writing.
- ********0
I'd move to some portuguese or italian village with no electricity. You're suffering from mass culture over-exposure.
- blaw0
1) ya peach.
2) fletch rules, but doesn't return.
3) not funny.
4) i'm not tough enough to try tofu.
5) yes, you do.
6) "blah, blah said my costume was a motherfucker."
7) n/a.
8) list fuck with your head.
9) brew thy own.
10) :)
- Jaline0
If you're a vegetarian for animal-rights reasons, then people can make fun of you with good reason. Otherwise, you should maybe think about getting some new friends.
- ********0
eh Jaline why does supporting animal rights deserve ridicule?
Theres been a disturbing new trend of hatered and violent acts towards animals. It used to be more specifc to the meat industry, but now it's just a trendy / cool thing to do (be vocal of fantasy's involving cruelity or humilty towards animals).
Also, there are people who eat meat, but are against the way animals are raised (horrible conditions, miserable deaths) so some people advocate eating meat, but just that the animals be raised under better conditions.
- tehgee0
mmm mm i need me a tbone steako now