crit/feedback plz
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- 7 Responses
- kodap0
not feelin it yet..
just a few tips:
-you could try a few more scratches, somehow all that bold text doesnt make the comp 'breath' enough.
-give it more space between text blocks.
- people can figure out when a phone number is a phone number without the symbol, also applies to the 'e' before the email.
- the "rashmie" is not parallel to the white line, and maybe use white / acid green / darker green color combinations.
I like the use of different helveticas, keep working on that.
- HumanMale0
I would left align everything on the reverse of the business card.
Also make the 'ras' on the front slightly smaller, and try to get a more consistant gap around 'ras' on the signage - it looks a little strange where it is placed at the moment...
- rasko40
I just realise I didn't read what you wrote proprely, I actually thought it was for packaging juice.. hmmm..
It may actually still look a little too 'consumer' in that case..
- Bluejam0
Not convinced you're using the right typeface. 'Pure living' seems to heavy and 'ras' seems to light with a touch of generic 'bout it.
I'd think about using some irregular shapes to introduce that pure/energy idea...
- slappy0
green... needs more shapes that couldnt be replicated in word...
not bad though.
- rasko40
I'd make the type smaller for the address details, 'pure...', 'phantastic..', 'rashmie...', 'pure . .'
Also, the 'rsahmie tyage' doesn't sit parallel to the line but looks like it should..
I'd look at possibly just using one line instead of four.. ?
not bad tho..
- rasko40
oh yeah, and on the 'pure living' the ® sits very high, I'd pull that down and tight to the 'g'.. although actually I'd also look at losing it altogether as I'm not sure it really fits with the feeling of organic/pure/health blah blah.. maybe