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- benfal990
Freezing -38 celcius right now in Montreal
- been like 75+ in SoCal today :DBabySnakes
- Amazingly warm here in London for January. Forecast for 11 degrees today. Usually closer to 0 by nowset
- georgesIII0
If you’re on reddit, you know what a meme is. Hell, these days, if you’re on the internet you know what a meme is. It’s a short, sweet rush to the head, a barely there image that you can process and move on from in split seconds. It’s the world’s biggest in-joke. It’s a massive time-waster, and a way to feel a little less “forever alone”.
It’s also a weapon in a war you don’t know exists.
I am- was- a high level social media strategist for a branch of the government you’ve never heard of. Most people think “social media strategist” is a vague title that glorified hacks use to make old fashioned companies feel young and with it. 90% of the time, that’s true. It's just bullshit marketing jargon. Hell, that’s all I thought I was, initially: a glorified headline writer, fit only to join upworthy or buzzfeed. That was before I started wars, molded opinions, fostered world changing decisions.
It all started in 2003, when a former college buddy of mine invited me to join him in Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid. Hawaii was mind blowing in the way a tropical island with bikini clad babes can be when you’re 23 and living in a seven star hotel for the first time in your life. Steve had invited four of us there, and the first three days, were spent in what I now know to be a classic honey-trap. We partied each night with 19 year old models who (although I didn’t know this) were recruited to be extra nice to us. “Us” being three socially inept PhDs and I (a socially inept college drop-out). When we weren’t drunk off our asses and partying (actually, even when we were), we’d sit under the stars on a private beach, and indulge in long conversations about world politics, the future of computer languages, the vastness of space... all the things that drunk engineers find interesting. When we weren’t clubbing, we were coding; when we weren’t coding, we were chatting.
I’ve always been an introvert, unlike Steve- heck I’ve been standoffish with my own family. But these guys- the fantastic five as we called ourselves- became my tribe. You’ll mock me for saying this, but I hungered for their friendship and approval even more than I did for the 19 year old supermodels.
I guess I didn’t realize it then, but it was on one of those nights that Steve first planted a thought in our minds, a thought that eventually helped him recruit us. This was post 9/11, the days when the Iraq war had just started out, and we were having a fierce debate on whether the war was ethical, and what USA’s role in world politics should be.
The bonfire flickered over the four of us, beer bottles resting half-buried in the sand. Steve lay on his back, gazing at the milky way as it shimmered above us, his lone cigarette a firefly dancing above us all.
The rest of us were leaning forward, hands gesticulating as we fought and yelled and debated. Andy was saying, “...in the end, we’ve just never moved on from our concept of manifest destiny- the idea that the American way is the only right way- and it’s destined to stretch from one corner of the globe to another.”
“This war isn’t about invading a country for its land.” I said angrily.
Steve got up, shaking sand from his hair. “That’s right. This war isn’t about land at all.” The noisy debate became a respectful silence as he took a drag from his cigarette. Steve was our leader, and when he spoke, we shut up.
“Look guys- war is how the American economy stays powerful. The largest defense companies in the world are American, and all the ammo getting produced needs someone to consume it. There’s always going to be a war- as a country, we need wars to siphon off extra man power, and create a money flow. Land ownership is just a fringe benefit. The real reason we fight wars is to destabilize other regions and keep our economy powerful. Peace would just create a bunch of dangerous competition.”
“What are you some kind of hippie?” Andy snorted. “You sound like a nutty conspiracy theorist.”
“I’m a patriot.” Steve said. “A proud American and a believer in Manifest destiny. But the world has it all wrong: in the olden days, empires were built by conquering countries. Now, empires are built by conquering minds.”
“Like big brother?” I laughed. “1984 has come and gone, I don’t think Orwell’s delusions of constant surveillance came true.”
“Not yet maybe.” Steve shrugged. “But give it ten years. Let PCs expand into every home, let internet connections become ubiquitous. Then see. Don’t forget that the military invented the internet.”
“Steve, you’re just a filthy hippie.” Andy leered, swigging his beer. “All you need is a tie-dyed shirt and a flower in your hair.”
There was some nervous laughter. We all agreed with Andy but Steve just sounded so sure of himself- so quietly confident.
“Think what you will.” Steve shrugged. “Here’s what I know: war is an unimportant side product of our world dominance, a cheap trinket in a chestful of gems. If America wants to control the world, it has to control the world’s opinions, not its oil supply. My new job helps me do just that.”
“What is this job anyway? How did you afford all this?” Yuri asked. “The supermodels, the seven star hotel, the clubbing and fine-dining. More importantly, why did you spend the money on us losers?”
“I’ve worked with all of you, in one job or another.” Steve said. “You’re the most forward thinking, skilled engineers I know. This isn’t a holiday, it’s a job interview. You’re here because I think you’re the smartest men on the planet.”
We blushed. I know I did. I felt a warm glow of acceptance hearing him say that. Steve- the genius who’d once corrected a nobel-prize winning professor in stats class back in Yale- thought I was smart.
“Job interview?” Andy’s mouth fell open.
Steve ignored him. “Have any of you read this book by Richard Dawkins? The selfish gene?” We shrugged collectively. “No.” “Dawkins has given birth to a new concept. A meme. A piece of content that spreads like a virus from user to user, changing along the way, till its instantly recognized across languages and cultures.” “So?” “So, hang on to that thought and listen to this-” Steve took a last drag off his cigarette and buried it in the sand. “Since the advent of democracy, governments are now slave to public opinion. If the opinion of the masses is strong enough, it can break even the most powerful empires.” “True.” “Which is why one of the first thing governments do, is invest in figuring out how to shape opinions.” We were silent, leaning forward, elbows on knees, faces intense. Steve smiled. “See, the average man, he’s a busy man. He’s got his own problems- love problems, money problems, family problems, status problems. The average joe has got approximately 3.5 minutes a day to think of world issues. That’s 3.5 minutes, to be divided over hundreds and hundreds of issues. Which is why, the average joe gives about 3 seconds of thought per issue- according to his personality, he subscribes either to the “orthodox view” the one his newspaper prints, or to the contrarian view- the one conspiracy theorists and rebels spin. Pick an issue, any issue- abortion, healthcare, education, politics: the average joe is going to see it in terms of black and white, and voice an opinion accordingly. Even with countries- take USA- opinion wise, either a foreigner loves the US and wants to live in it, or he hates it and thinks it represents evil. No one has time to think nuanced thoughts.”
We nodded.
“Now aggregate this by millions and millions. A tidal wave of voices. All of which use sound bites as their opinion formers- and imagine, if you will, that we found a way to control these opinions.”
“You’re terrifying me.”
“I intend to.” He said. “The USA is fighting a war- not just in Iraq- but a global war that will decide which culture dominates this decade -hell- this millennium. We’re fighting to create a global culture that will keep us a superpower forever. I’m fighting for my country because in the end, hell, we are meant to rule the world.”
“You’re full of shit.” Andy said. “This is all talk and no results. No one can control the masses this way. Give me an example.”
“Feminism.” Steve shrugged.
“What about it?”
“There’s three opinions people have on feminism: one, they shrug it off as unimportant while agreeing with a few obvious points like “Rape is bad and shouldn’t be condoned”. Two, they’re rabid feminists who think “All women are prosecuted and all men are bad”. Three, they’re men’s rights activists, who hate feminists and think they’re all out to emasculate them.”
“Sounds about right.”
“It’s one of my proudest works.” Steve smiled. “It’s what got me my current job. I manufactured the debate when it sprang up again.”
“You what?”
“It was a test case, really. I was trying to prove that in defending their own gender, feminists and anti-feminists each lose out because they don’t realize gender roles constrict both of them. Men suffer just as much from the effects of gender expectation as women do. They just suffer in different ways. But instead of realizing this, joining hands and eventually abolishing the concept of gender, I helped steer the conversation so that it became an easier, more palatable, “men vs women” debate. A debate that will rage on forever with hardly any change happening. This lack of change, in the end, will be advantageous to marketers in all sorts of industries- from women's fashion, to automobiles, to movies, to guns.”
At this point, I think I shook my head in disbelief. Andy was shaking his head like a dog trying to get water out its ears.
Steve laughed. “I masterminded this- a tough job- by researching opinion makers and leaders in each side, then supplying a few critical flashpoint incidents to create argument.”
“Why?”
“I told you. To control argument. Thus, to control the world. Religion tried that in the past- to control the world via control of human emotion and beliefs. It worked extremely well- except that religions are singular: ‘follow our path, or go to hell’, literally. The minute you say that, some wise guy is going to cross his arms and oppose you.
No.
I realized that its human nature to want to oppose the majority, just as much as its human nature to want to be the majority. If you want to control everyone- recognize that rebellion is inevitable with any propaganda. So, when creating propaganda, you try and create your own rebellion, to give natural born rebels the illusion of control. That way, you secretly control both sides by creating an artificial war that hides away the main issue- the way I created an artificial war between men and women to hide the fact that gender roles and expectations are deadly to both.”
“Jesus.” Andy whispered.
Steve grinned, his teeth flashing under starlight. The bonfire had died down to little wisps of flame by now, and he sat in shadow, only the whites of his teeth visible between shades of darkness. “Like I said, fellas, this isn’t a vacation- this is a job interview.” I gulped. “It’ll take a while, but I want you on my team- I’ll train you from the start, and together, we’ll be unstoppable. Trend spotters, argument creators, spreaders of the American way. This is what life’s about, boys- not the rat race, nor the futile quest for power. Life is about molding the very essence of history.” “How?” I asked. “Through memes?” “Yes.” He smiled. “Like I said before, the average joe has 3 seconds of time to devote to a given subject. I want to create artifacts- image based, viral memes- that will help shape that opinion. 3 seconds. We bury hidden messages in inconsequential jokes. We create artificial communities that recreate the rebel/majority fight across different issues. In the end, to quote Lex Luthor, in the end, we take over the world.”
In the end, to quote Steve, in the end, we took over the world.
10 years. We worked for 10 years and accomplished everything Steve said we would. Take a look around you, and you'll know the truth of what I'm saying. Debate is dying down- replaced by stone throwing and hysteria. Any issue, every issue, of importance has people yelling over their fences without anyone bothering to fix root causes. Hell, think of our own presidential elections- they have become puppet shows.
So why am I posting this online, knowing as I do that I could be killed for my revelations?
First, because I’m dying.
I’ve spent the last year trying to cure myself from a mysterious illness I’m convinced is long term polonium poisoning. I’ve spent it in hiding in a tropical island with no seven star hotels or bikini clad babes. I’ve spent it in vain, because I’m dying anyway. The disease inside me is inching away, killing more and more of me every day- and with each day that I'm robbed of life, I feel a devastating remorse.
I'm still as patriotic as I ever was- despite all that I've seen, I believe, with all my heart that at it's core, the american way is good for humanity, and must spread beyond our borders- I'm just not sure the means justify the ends any more.
I also know that our country isn't the only one who's using these tactics any more. Virality is a global commodity now.
So that’s reason 1.
Reason 2: I have no hope of anyone ever believing me. The nosleep community was my last refuge. Most of you will go away thinking I’m bullshitting, unable to understand what I’m even talking about.
Others, among you, will continue to roam the internet, helplessly addicted to your morning shots of email and memes and in jokes and twitter debates. Never conscious of how easily you’re manipulated by an army of scientists, marketers and engineers. Never bothering to think more than 3 seconds before shouting your opinion- which will basically be you parroting the opinion of the people you find coolest.
But maybe, just maybe, a few of you -a small intelligent fraction- will think of Tom Riddle’s diary from the chamber of secrets. The internet is a lot like it. For god's sake, listen to what Rowling said.
*Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brains. *- lost me at 7 star hoteluan
- you are such a pleb :)
http://www.townhouse…georgesIII - 7 star hotels
http://i.imgur.com/I…ORAZAL - lost me at georgesIII
just kidding ;)benfal99 - aint nobody got time for thatinteliboy
- just read it all. was goodiCanHazQBN
- interesting read. I'm not sure I get why controlling the argument, controls the worldGnash
- the war-economy totally makes sense. scary. fuck, how do you turn it around :/Gnash
- georgesIII0
inb4 tl:dr;
- scarabin0
i've got a new 4tb external drive and when i mount it on my MBP it will mount 2.2tb, then all the leftover space mounts separately as a second drive.
anybody ever run into this problem or know of a fix?
why even sell 4tb drives if we can only mount 2.2tb at a time?
- only on your MBP -- do you get 4th on another system? perhaps it's a RAID (2x2TB drives)Gnash
- It might be partitioned. Check Disk Utility to perhaps make it a single one again.monospaced
- yeah gnash i think it's an old MBP (2009)scarabin
- sounds like what mono said. the older OS's had a 2TB volume limit. but that goes back to OS 10 - 10.1Gnash
- if it's an old OS and you don't want to update it then you need to partition the drive into smaller volumesGnash
- i'm running yosemite but i think it may be a hardware limitation. old chip or somethingscarabin
- when u run Disk Utility on it, do you see 2 volumes? what is listed as the format type - HFS or FAT32?Gnash
- ended up putting it inside my hackintosh. seems to be working fine therescarabin
- odd. 'be curious to know if you ever figure it outGnash
- scarabin0
i made a few variations of this popular "life hack" today and none of them put out any more heat than my laptop. the idea that one could heat an entire room is a load of bollocks.
in case anyone ever wondered about this thing.
- made one too :) was skeptical to begin with and ended up with the same conclusion as you.Gnash
- although a candle can warm up a tent by 5 degrees, in the right circumsatnces.Gnash
- yeah, smaller spaces would make a differencescarabin
- Oops, just started a fire. If you're in Adelaide get the fuck out.iCanHazQBN
- lol. it's raining here so i'll manage :) it's cold as fuck here in so cal right now and i realized i have no idea how to deal with itscarabin
- i was sitting in shorts and a beater for hours shivering before i realized pants and a sleeves would helpscarabin
- lolGnash
- Thanks for the info scarab... was going to try as you. We've got a ton of spare candles like those!!!OBBTKN
- OBBTKN0
Litteraly dying from influenza... asthma inhalers are not doing their job... pain everywhere and coughing like mad!!!
- sweat that shit out yo!moldero
- have you been in contact in the last 72 hours with anyone from ebolaland?georgesIII
- Oh... shit!!! o.OOBBTKN
- Please, get off the internet. i've heard the terrorist has weaponized ebola for cyber warfare....pango
- HOT TODDYMrT
- Alright, probably see you in hell then. Peace.iCanHazQBN
- pinkfloyd0
The 13 macbook air too small to design with? 4gb not enough? What about a 15" pc alternative thats light?
- depends on what software you "design" with. I only reply emails at coffee shop so it doesn't matter to me.pango
- Heaviest software would be photoshop.pinkfloyd
- ya i've work with photoshop on worse machine. although i didn't like the small screen. its do-able.pango
- wait for the new ones.inteliboy
- They'll be 12" I think, screens too small.pinkfloyd
- why do you need a tiny laptop for design?pango
- I want something ultra light to carry while i bikepinkfloyd
- Do you do photoshop while you bike as while?pango
- Lolpinkfloyd
- georgesIII0
Something wonderful is happening somewhere :)
- antarctica and mars and that comet._niko
- I just did a really loud fart. It scared my cat. I assume you were talking about that George.set
- < hahbklyndroobeki
- pinkfloyd0
Is it better to get a 13" air from early 2014 i5 with 8gb of memory or the current air i5 with 4gb of memory? I need a laptop to study front end web development and some photoshop work, or should I get a pc instead? I need something ultra light.
- set0
Worst hangover of my entire life today, no exaggeration. Never got drunk on absinthe before, skipped dinner too.
Literally couldn't keep any liquid down at all until about 5pm. Vomited probably 15 times...!
Blood sugar was obviously seriously low and I hadn't had any water all day so by about 5pm I was so low on energy I literally couldn't even stand up.
Managed to sip really slowly on some honey and water over the space of about an hour and it finally stayed down. Really amazing how much energy just that one cup gave me and by 6pm i was up and walking around.
Had a carrot juice and peanut butter and banana sandwich and finally back to normal now. Seriously the worst I've ever felt on a hangover. Fuck absinthe!
- Damn, at least the worst is over. Lesson learnedpinkfloyd
- that sounds brutalGnash
- damn that sucks. "worst hangovers" can be seriously fucked up.inteliboy
- probably time to stop drinking and get your life together.iCanHazQBN
- just kidding. GET FUCKING SMASHED ALL DAY EVERY DAY YOLO MOTHERTRUCKER!iCanHazQBN
- inteliboy0
housemate girl - anyone done this? how'd it go?
only lived with couples or guys before...- Some were cool, some were manipulative, one was batshit crazy and scratched me uppinkfloyd
- living with one right now. she's bitch.
I've never had problem with guys.pango - Paranoid as fuck. She's obviously not very incompetent and needs other people's help. I'm guessing she's trying to toughen up like a blow fish.pango
- toughen up like a blow fish cuz she's been like a victim her whole life. completely unnecessary. Not everyone's trying to get you you little fuck!pango
- ... trying to get you or take advantage of you you little fuck.pango
- the worst is if there's no trust. and she started the paranoid shit.pango
- >:( I'm done for now.
peace out!!pango - i've done it. it depends. did you feel a good vibe?bklyndroobeki
- Avoid if she has money problems or drug problems. Same can be said for men.pinkfloyd
- she's a friend, seems stable and all that jazz. guess will just have to take the plunge and see.inteliboy
- she hot?
mine's not.... :( even less tolerable...pango - avoid the $ / drug prob as said earlier... make sure she has a job... should be fine. I've had good and bad experiences...PonyBoy
- ... meaning: same shit... different gender :) Do your normal due diligence like you would anyone elsePonyBoy
- it can go either way. set some ground rules or you might lose a friend. i hope you're not sharing a bathroom. good luck with that.sea_sea
- ha... forgot about the bathroom issue... you may want to get her one of these as a housewarming gift: http://ecx.images-am…PonyBoy
- oh ya talking about bathroom. SO MANY FUCKING HAIR!!! AND SHE LEAVES THEM ON THE BATHTUB WALL!!!!!!!pango
- and she leave her laundry in the living room everywhere! forever! DONT LEAVE YOUR BRAS IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!pango
- FUCK!!!!!
>:(pango - Do it. Keeps your behaviour in check and she has friends to bring round.MrT
- http://www.youtube.c…moldero
- HAYZ1LLLA0
I don't know why but that rolling autoplay on youtube now has really got my goat. I'm getting old. It's got me livid.
- MrT0
Football chants.
http://www.theguardian.com/footb…Probably lost on non-Britishers and definitely so if you don't follow football, but there are some classics in the comments.
- ...MrT
YOU! should click this ››
http://www.qbn.com/t…e-pill - it is worth every penny.. trust me!!!
love ya
-ee-pill - 'i can't believe i posted onto MrT!!!
http://www.youtube.c…
sooooooo bad assssssss!!!!!!!!e-pill - [DISCLAIMER] if you click my links then your a sucker!!
-MrT!!!!e-pill - [i mean not you Mr T]e-pill
- e you're scaring meMrT
- ...MrT
- e-pill0
thinking of the the NY Freelaancers thread..
i miss freelancing in NYC..i miss freelancing in general.. been stuck at this 11 hour day for years now.. 11 hours freelancing in NYC is like 4 weeks in Florida.. i can't believe i am starting my 5th year here at the same 11 hour day.. still never met OSFA.. oi
- e-pill0
last year i saw a post made by QBN...
http://www.qbn.com/topics/687908…
..s'like OMGFUCKYOUCANDY™!!!! YAY!! [not hooray]
..so like waiting n waiting
...
.waiting
..ok so is it now now ??
or..
__
ok.. seriously QBN.. when will then be now?kthxbye
-e pill
- ╚═░ ・ ﹏ ・ ░═╝benfal99
- we're only 2 weeks out of 52 into 2015monospaced
- bklyndroobeki0
have been sobering up over the last couple days since i messed up + got hung over (making some bad decisions at a bar).
- were you hanging with set?Gnash
- pretty muchbklyndroobeki
- odd thing is. maybe the bartenders knew? my card wasn't charged at all that night. so weird.bklyndroobeki
- not my fault!
=Pset
- pango0
kept smelling pot in the office....
been walking about all day trying to figure out where it comes from.....
- pinkfloyd0
I try to keep my tech toys to a minimum so I don't look like a douche.