The Pissy Chair mystery
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- josimarX
can you help me solve this:
We just moved office whilst I was away on holiday and I came back to a nice new desk and chair. After a while I was getting a horrible wiff and wondered if I'd let out (quite a lot of) dribble after going for a slash earlier as there was a real wiff of pee.
Luckily we had a spare chair which I assembled and put the smelly one in a different room to think about what it had done. My colleague Donnie said he used the chair for a good few days before realising it was it that smelt and not him. Thing is, it was fresh(supposedly) out the box from Ikea here in Glasgow...
any ideas would be appreciated, both for it's fate and where the pong came from...
thanks in advance
josimar
- josimarX0
ps I also had my new 'holiday' jacket on it all morning which now needs washed. dammit
- unknown0
Have you got a hole in your bag?
- josimarX0
nope, but I like your train of thought.
- pr2-3
damn it! English please! All i know that somone pissed on something.
- pascii0
can't you wash it out?
- josimarX0
I say it was someone at Ikea. Please excuse my English, I'm only learning.
- pr2-3
Ikea's stuff always smells
...especially if it was peed on.
- josimarX0
good point, well made.
anyway, how do you wash a chair?
- pascii0
with the same stuff you wash carpets? and write a letter to IKEA customer care!
- dstlb0
I had a pair of cycling shoes that smelt like a cat had pissed in them everytime they got hot, it wasn't so bad on the bike but once it broke down on the wrong side of London and I had to take the tube back, cleared the carriage pretty quickly. Shoes went in the bin fter that.
That probably doesn't help you though does it?
- pr2-3
of course it helps him! now he knows it's not the bums who smell on the subway.
- unknown0
I think that Donnie is harbouring a secret grudge against you and pissed on the chair while you were away.
- unknown0
To find an effective cleaning solutiuon, first thing would be to make sure that it is indeed piss. Sometime your nose can fail you, That why god gave you taste. Take a lick. If you detect a mature and bold salty aroma. Your guessed right.
- paulrand0
somebody bought an office chair, peed on it, and then returned it as new to the store. where your office bought it.
- josimarX0
I licked it and liked it, so it must be Tuna. Though Paul Rand's idea seems disturbing but likely.
- vespa0
Donnie is obviously trying to put a voodoo hex on you and your family.
You must make a Donniedoll out of a potato or stuffed sock, put pins in it and dance around his desk chanting "pissbegone" in falsetto every morning before he gets in. You should find that the pissy smell starts to dissipate after a week of doing this.
- josimarX0
nice one Vespa, I've always wondered how you did that and as luck would have it, there's a sock stuck to the wall behind me. It's a bit stiff but it'll work.
- Blofeldt0
Are you sure whoever ordered it didn't check the "smell like piss." option?
- TransFatty0
animal urine
- vespa0
Remember the Donniedoll will only be effective if some of his hair is attached to it.
If he is bald, you are going to have to get hair from somewhere other than his head.