presentation lies
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- jgrafx
here its the story of the day: we're pitching for a huge tv station, project is about their classical music stuff.
they came up with a interview sheet, a kind of quuestion-answer-game. one question: "do you have any qualifications to work on that project?"
answer of our boss (he really printed it!!!!): "one of our staff members has a huge collection of classical cd's thats why we are able to understand you".
well, i have several knifes at home, but never will be able to apply as a surgeon!!!!!!!! but here we can!
WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE PITCH LIE?!?!?!
- unknown0
shit i work there. wanna suicide.
cigar
- unfittoprint0
- Do you know how to....
- YES!
- But I didn't told you what it...
- Don't worry, we're experts on that and we ot the best people for that job. Trust me.
-Err....
-What is it exactly?
- k0na_an0k0
In filing out a questionaire sent to us by a client we are bidding on.
Q: What are your video capabilites, if any?
A: We have a designer here who specialized in video and has written and directed many video shoots and events in his career. We are fully capable of creating and fulfilling any video need.
Me to boss: Um... yeah I took a couple video classes and know my shit, but I don't think I can head an entire production like this.
Boss: No problem. We'll take care of that.
Me to boss: Are you also going to take care of all the video software and hardware needed to complete this project?
Boss: What exactly are we going to need? I have a video program that came with XP and a VCR, what else are we going to need?
Me to self: *oh fuck.
- unfittoprint0
Presentation lies are a vital part of any business survival kit.
- unknown0
thats tru unfittoprint, but the difference between a good lie and a shitty lie......... having a collection of cd's....heheheheee.... too stupid to be a lie
- jgrafx0
yea, but to keep a straight face if the classic cd guy explains to you why its a big deal to print that -- thats what i call "school of life".
and well, yea, xp and the video program will do it, yea. why bother and pay hours and hours on a flame? just grap "microsoft screen editor for dummies".... hehehe!
- krist0ff0
one of the bosses of a company i used to work for was the biggest corporate bullshitter i've ever seen...
no matter what the pitch he would tell them what he thought they wanted to hear and would completely lie about what skills we had, saying 'we are experts in that' was his line on anything, from usability testing to space station design.
as well as dropping buzzwords into every conversation with no understanding of their meaning he used to post up job vacancies on the site for fictional positions to make it look like we had specialists in relevant fields.
plus, he was a real tosser and the funny thing was potential clients always saw straight through it and never signed the contracts. he genuinely believed his own lies though and couldn't understand why we didn't win the pitches.
- jgrafx0
pitching comes maybe from pigeon, and so the more your brain size is comparable to the one of a pigeon (in small size, not complexity), the more you can win the pitch!