suicide
Out of context: Reply #58
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- Ianbolton26
I'm 42 this year and spent the past 5 years (or so) swaying from complete existential nihilism to borderline control freak where I felt the need to push everyone out of my life as I thought they were the one's making me drink/smoke/do drugs. Nothing made sense one way or the other and have constantly battled with my own negative thoughts towards suicide - as though my life hangs on a shoestring.
This is the first year in which I've actually felt I've finally got the balance I need especially with a new design job in the new year, but it's not been easy. I've struggled with being praised, office 'banter' bewildered me, being creative drove me to serious existential questions about why and what I was doing had any worth, especially in a world in which is constantly striving for individualism.
I've searched really hard to find positivity and maybe even love in all of this, but the only things that have really helped me are close friends, meditation and exercise and generally just being honest and truthful about the things that I do.
The Buddhist saying of 'life is suffering' can really take it's toll on people if they don't understand the real meaning giving in to greed and political ideologies. Nobody is perfect and we all have our own thoughts/hangups/insecurities, but overall just being nice to each other must be a better place to start if we want to make a better future.
I've sat here in the background on QBN for over 10 years and watched with amusement, but seriously, every single one of you have given me something to smile about during my darkest times and I can't possibly thank you enough. So yeah, thanks to the lot of you.
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- Take some psychedelics.set
- Suffering and pain are the best teachers, and help us grow, but it's easy to get stuck within that vibration. Pity and self reflection are what gets you stuck.set
- Try spending one day catching yourself every time you're in your head, looking at the world through self reflective blinkers.set
- Removing the self as the focal point to see the world through helps tremendously.set
- Just look at the world for what it is. Truly awesome, magical, mysterious and wondrous, without focusing solely on how it relates to you.set
- It's a great way to take yourself less seriously and see the joy and magic in the worldset
- Without only seeing it as being either good or bad for you. You're not that important.set
- And if anyone gets offended by that, which they will, then newsflash... you're too self important.set
- You'd make a great guru set! Your right on points bar last (IMAO). I'd say there is great importance in our lives. There is great implication of our actions ...mugwart
- through time and space. It is this where life truely becomes meaningful.mugwart
- Imagine a world where lennon didn't marry yoko. Hendrix picked up the guitar, Freddie the microphone etcmugwart
- They were imperfect, they lived and died in a heart beat but the reprocution of their actions lived on enriching lives, enhancing and giving meaning etc. IMAO!mugwart
- Worlds of difference between self importance and self worth :)set
- You can love yourself, know your worth, be proud and happy without a shred self importance. Two very different things, imo.set
- Self importance is thinking the world owes you something. It does not.set
- I agree!mugwart
- Thanks. And yeah, the 4 areas of nihilism usually spans from lack of self worth or self importance - in my head anyway.Ianbolton
- It's when it get's down to that whole 'what's the point in any of this' that really used to blag my head.Ianbolton
- But my heads only a tiny part of this amazing world and sometimes i got over excited and thought I don't have time to learn all the things I want toIanbolton