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Out of context: Reply #65626
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- shellie2
I recently personally witnessed an employer smack a female employee's ass at a party and then moments later, he forced a really uncomfortable hug with the same girl. I saw the whole thing. The girl and I briefly spoke about it, as I had a different incident happen recently (and shared here) and I could usually see how uncomfortable she was and felt compelled to check on her. It was clearly a sick but also institutionally condoned abuse of power.
In the same sweeping breath of her pointing out what just happened (in a public place surrounded by people no less) she also completely forgave and explained it away. She will never do anything to stop it from happening again. "I know he's not a bad guy" she says. But also, "But, what am I going to do, he runs everything." With witnesses, she could win a lawsuit if she was driven to do it. That would certainly teach him and the very rich company they work for a lesson. It's also career suicide and a very a scary prospect.
And that's how that happens.
David Schwimmer's new sexual harassment spots really hit home for me, especially The Co Worker one:
and the Politician:
Both of those situations have happened to me on multiple occasions. And, when it does happen, in the moment many women describe being frozen in inaction and only later are able to parse what actually transpired. It can be so confusing and/or painful (depending on what happened) that it's so much easier to simply remove yourself from the situation (if that's even an option) and leave it in the past rather than confront and relive it. That seems to be a default defense reaction to many kinds of abuse. I only recently spoke about this stuff to anyone and I've found that now that I have, there hasn't been one woman who hasn't shared a similar story or have multiple situations they could point out. It's really blowing my mind that it's much more common than I thought and so rarely openly discussed.
- my sister faced this at her bank job when she was in her early 20s. she was single mom then, joined in group lawsuit. got enough to buy a house and start her lirobotron3k
- from that I learned, everyone needs one good lawsuit in their life.robotron3k
- Honestly, I may contact that girl again after she's had time to think about it. I can easily get at her. We were hanging out through a mutual friend.shellie
- damn thats tough. not wanting to confront it just trying to keep her job.IRNlun6
- this would likely turn into a real ugly and public litigation/potential criminal charges. group lawsuit would definitely help take the pressure off her.IRNlun6
- eh no harm no foul. pretty girls flirt all the time, ugly men use power if they have it. that shit is life. just the big hustle of life. if theres a problemdeathboy
- shut that shit down. dont play by rules laid out and choose a different option. at the ned of the day we are adults and we choose what we are willing to put updeathboy
- for our own ideals and values.deathboy
- wonder how many people you ever lead on or took advantage of for something like a drink? Personally i think people just playing the game with cards dealt.deathboy
- No moral virtues can be assigned. A man with money/postiion power cant use it as a women with power of beauty. Or a women with money/power cant use it.deathboy
- however i do find it in poor form to use such any form of power as manipulationdeathboy
- lol you 3 guys, every time, really in it for the womenmonospaced
- what now sunshine?IRNlun6
- That's when turning on the camera of your iphone is a good idea.Maaku
- This is not actually institutionally condoned. I think you mean socially condoned, which happens from inaction.cannonball1978
- mono its simple philosophy outside gender politics. try to think a bit broader. a mind once stretch never returns to original dimensions and all thatdeathboy
- robotard - literally the worst person on QBN to comment on this post - tickled me.fadein11
- deathboy, you're not speaking philosophy, trust me. I see you guys in here discouraging action, saying it'll cause a fuss, blah blah blah.monospaced
- Yeah it'll get messy, for the guy who pulls this shit and thinks it's okay. shellie you seem in a good position to help a lot of people. Go for it.monospaced
- Can't help someone who doesn't want it. This didn't happen to me and she's doesn't want to do anything. *shrug* what can i do... yano?shellie
- shellie seems to be in a terrible position. having to witnessing this, concerned for others in similar position, and she really can't do anything.IRNlun6
- without those women leading this, she herself could get into legal problems. they already don't want to do anything, now add pressure from lawyers/judicial sys.IRNlun6
- to deathboys point, if they're not willing to go after him legally, they have a shit ton of leverage to score a nice bonus or two. it's a cold world.IRNlun6