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Out of context: Reply #64744
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- tamale3
My night with Mandy
Last weekend I went back to a strip club I hadn’t been to in a while. I went there by myself soI decided to take a table by a corner in order to scope things out in peace. As I’m sipping on my drink a stripper stops by and introduces herself “OMG you’re Charlie Sheen! I’m Mandy”, I smile at her and tell her “I don’t have any bills on me” to make her go away. But this girl won’t walk away so easily, she grabs a chair and sits down next to me. She tells me that I’m Charlie Sheen a second and third time and I now realize she’s dead serious. I look her in the eyes and simply say “You’re cute but I am not Charlie Sheen”. But the bitch won’t have it, she gets up from her chair, sits on my lap and starts grinding me. I look around at the other tables, I see everybody’s having a good time so I choose not to make a scene. I simply repeat to her that I don’t have any bills and start surfing the web on my phone waiting for her to leave. I figure she’ll go at it for 5 minutes and leave me alone. After 20 fucking minutes she’s still grinding me while I still haven’t given her any bills. Then all of a sudden she stands on top of my table and with her stank up pussy over my head yells at the crowd “OMG!!!! LOOK EVERYBODY WE HAVE CHARLIE SHEEN IN DA HOUSE!!!!!”.
I figure she’s already ruining the night for everybody so I get up, push her down from the table turn to face the crowd, “Do I even look like Charlie Sheen?” I ask. As I see the fat security guy walking towards me I manage to get out a “You even saw my ID when I walked in the door” before he grabs me by the neck. Since I know I’m being led out I tell the crowd “I’m sorry about the scene but this bitch has been ruining my night and is now ruining yours”. Security tries to calm things down and explains to everybody that indeed I am not Charlie Sheen, he has seen my ID after all. This is when the bitch starts wailing, crying about how she needs the money and this is a scheme she pulls regularly telling the clients they look like celebrities so she can get a good tip. But by now nobody is listening to her because everybody has pulled out their cellphones and is snapping pictures of me, probably posting on them on Instagram tagged #CharlieSheen. The bitch, still sobbing, makeup running all over her face decides to run out of the club half naked. Nobody notices it because everybody is still looking at their phones and congratulating themselves to have spent a night with Charlie Sheen.
As I stand outside the club I look over the security guy’s shoulder. And who do I see coming out of the bathroom? Motherfucking Charlie Sheen in the flesh! I look at fatfuck security guy, think about pointing it out to him but he knows it already.
#I #AM #NOT #CHARLIE #SHEEN
- I think you owe us a pic of yourselfdrgs
- Triggeredsince1979
- rabbit?uan
- Googles: Charlie sheen at strip club last night.. Lolsea_sea
- About 2,500,000 results aahahah :D nice one seasted
- https://s-media-cach…Gnash
- What a coincidence! The club is called Kassandra's, of course they had to write it with a K.tamale
- it puts the dink in coinkidinkGnash
- Oh shit, my sides!!!tamale
- Wait. Charlie Sheen is a QBNer???OSFA