R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman
Out of context: Reply #97
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- eoin0
^ I'll reply here marychain, since there's a lot of text. I completely accept that you would/are dealing with the situation the best way that you can. I thought I was doing the right thing too, and I'm not saying you are not. It's nigh on impossible to know how to deal with watching someone you love commit suicide slowly.
And don't get me wrong, he was no saint. He made some terrible decisions, but his overdose occurred after being clean for six months. Six months when we had him back after years of him being a zombie.
Anyway, he relapsed and I found out. I got angry and isolated him when I should have had a bit more compassion... It was heroin for fuck's sake. I am riddled with guilt that the isolation I imposed pushed him into a grimmer situation which in turn just pushed him back into a deeper depression and back to using again.
In hindsight, for all his bravado, he was a highly sensitive person who suffered from undiagnosed depression, so he self-medicated. Anyway, all I'm saying is that instead of demonising, I might have been more supportive and empathic. And to that end, I would hope others don't make the same mistake I did. Don't judge too hastily, it's all too easy (and often inevitably the more selfish route) to take it all personally. Especially when you don't have firsthand experience of the power of the addiction itself. And a clean addict can be the most at risk. The end. Sorry for the downer everyone : /
- And thanks for the condolence marychain, it means a great deal.eoin