R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman
Out of context: Reply #96
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- eoin0
"Hey! Stop having cancer, it's bringing us all down!"
My two cents: addiction is an illness, as much as chronic arthritis, or cancer, is an illness. It's very hard to fathom, especially for those who have never been addicts themselves. From the outside it seems like a simple choice: either continue to ruin your own life (and the life of everyone who loves you) or stop. Just stop doing whatever destructive thing it is that you are doing. How wonderful were it that simple.
But it's not like that and who knows how many lives have been lost because of demonisation rather than compassion for the addicted. Hope for the addicted will only improve will when he, or she, is seen as sick, rather than depraved, or worse, selfish.
I live with the consequences of demonising an addict. My older brother was a heroin addict for years and the easiest (or most logical thing for me at the time) was to detest him, to blame him for his illness and cut him out of my life and do other, countless dispassionate things to him. In my mind, it was his fault.
Four years ago on a sunny afternoon in high summer, I found him dead, "a needle sticking out of his arm". My brother who I had grown up with, shared the biggest belly laughs I've ever had with, the person I shared my childhood with.
Since then, it hasn't been easy. I could say it has kind of ruined my life, but that's just me being selfish. I can still feel the sun on my face, breath air, smile, laugh, love, etc. He can't. He lost his battle with addiction, and while he was battling it, I had nothing but disdain for him.
There hasn't been a moment since then where I haven't regretted how I acted. If I had just had a little more compassion, given him more time, helped without enabling, been there for him in his darkest times, he might still be here today and I might not be carrying a huge trauma around with me, but my trauma is nothing in comparison, I'm not the one who died. I miss him dearly. We all do.
- Deeply sorry for your loss. I have a strikingly similar story...but quite another take on it. Agree to disagreemarychain
- sorry man, that's roughmonospaced
- Cheers, monoeoin
- My twin brother has been battling depression and bipolar his whole life, and has been lucky to have great supportmonospaced
- but the suicide threats and possibilty of drug problems are always there, and I choke up just thinking about losingmonospaced
- losing my brother.monospaced
- so truly, I really do hurt for your lossmonospaced
- Thanks mono, I know it's very hard to feel like you are watching helplessly from the sidelines, but I'm sure even your hope and positivity for him, as intangible as it might seem, makes a difference.eoin
- positivity for him, as intangible as it might seem, makes a difference.eoin
- oi shiet. mono... sorry for kind of made fun of you and your brother in a way before....pango
- thanks eoin, I will call him to talk and he'll know that I am still theremonospaced