losing it...
Out of context: Reply #37
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- mikotondria30
Yeh, you got to stop being his pretend parent against whom he can endlessly play out his teenage freedom/authority/responsibility dramas that he never learned to resolved fully, and so never really became a proper adult in terms of someone who can forsee consequences that might be against his long term interests.
Until someone has developed the skills to cope with putting-off short-term pleasure for longterm strategic goals, they never truly respect anyone who can, because they don't recognise that is someone else. He knows on one level that you can do this for yourself, and in some respects needs to be under your wing for both the protection that offers him, and also to possibly learn it from you by osmosis or example, but it doesn't work, and he ends up playing off your outrage at his behavior as authoritative, with which comes a whole host of parental issues, with the result that he's not getting anywhere with his personal growth, and you're not helping him by playing along.
He needs you to kick him out, albeit with the honest, sound advice about what he needs to do in the next week, month and year, with his life, but you can't perpetuate the roundabout that you're both on. It'll be harder on you watching him stumble, but in 5 years if he doesn't honestly thank you for doing that, then theres really nothing you can or should do to facilitate his wrecking of your life.
Honestly, he sounds like a bit of twat who needs to join the army or some such situation that would stop him being so selfish and kick his ass.