Tales from the Strip...
Out of context: Reply #17
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- TheBlueOne0
OK, a couple more. All true. Swear on the bible. This is Strip Bar related, although all action takes place outside of a strip bar.
STORY THREE
So another less dumpy strip joint also in Yonkers NY, early90's. By this point in our lives we were like strip bar pros. If you want to pick up the ladies, we know not to sit at the bar, but take a back table, rarely tip, and when you do, just say "No no baby..you don't have to dance private, we can just talk for a bit." Worked 80% of the time. And it helped we were all long haired rock dudes in a place with fat overweight slobs. Like I said early 90's.
So my buddy ends up striking up a conversation with this one girl "Amber." She was cute. Young looking. So we take her and her friend out for breakfast after the place closes at 4am. My friend ends up dating Amber for a while. So a few weeks later he calls me up and invites me to go along with him to Amber's birthday party at her place. So off we go.....
Turns out the party is at her moms place. So it's like this AMber chick, her mom, her brother and her fat dumpy friend who apparently she was going to set me up with. Well, the Blue One shut that down pretty quick, which led to some awkward moments making pleasantries with Dumpy Girl. But anyway, Amber grabs my friend by the hand and runs into her bedroom in the back of the apartment.
Meanwhile I sit there with Dumpy Girl. Mom and Bro. They're all chit chatting as Mom frosts cake. And then Mom yells out "Amber, you'd better be using a goddamn condom!"
Huh. That was, um, abrupt.
So then back to cake frosting and chit chatting and then Mom yells out "Amber, Birthday Cake!"
So, Amber comes running out of the back room, pulling on her T-shirt, with my friend sheepishly walking out behind her, adjusting his belt. Amber rushed over and kisses her Mom, to whit Mom says "You go brush your teeth first! You were just sucking his cock and now you kiss your mother with that mouth?!"
I stare at my friend, he looks at me and he shrugs and raises his eyebrows.
Huh.
OK, then some candles, cake, etc..and then the phone rings and Amber picks it up...
"Hello...what....when? WHEN??? OH no!!! OH NOOOOO!!! I KILLED HIM!!!! I KILLED DAVID!!!...."
She lets the phone drop, and runs back to her bedroom as her brother picks the phone off the floor. Turns out that an old High School friend of Amber's just drove an ATV int a tree or something and died. Amber comes rushing out with this little pink girly notebook and she has a page open with some picture of a stick figure and a tree and a smiley face with a tear..and she's crying and hyperventialating "I...I....dreamed..this is my dream journal...look [points at stick figure] that's David! DAVID!! I dreamed this!! Last night and here...here's the tree!! He drove into the tree because I dreamed it!!! I KILLED HIM!!! My dream did this!! Look mommy I killed David!!"
OK, so at this point my friend and I are making the eye contact and head movements that it's time to get the fuck out of this crazy lunatic house. We make some excuse to get something from the car, ran outside, took off down the street and never went back.
To this day, this is known as "The Amber Story".
It was around this time that I decided to stop trying to date strippers.
- why isn't your life a movie? jesus, hahahahaha fucking awesome7point34
- I wonder about this myself sometimes..TheBlueOne
- it started off like that scene in Made, but ended so much better7point34
- That's so awesome dude. Dream journals are the shitlandock
- amazing. emukid should produce your film.Point5
- MOM!!!! The Meatloaf!!!!OSFA
- gold... and stolen.pr2