Tales from the Strip...
Out of context: Reply #16
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- jerk0
A buddy of mine and i head to downtown strip club. we arrive between performers and take a seat in sniffers row. except my seat has a pen on it. a normal length, but fat, silver metallic shaft pen, with a pen clip and a top portion that screws off. but for the life of me i can't figure out how to get the 'nib' part to come out. so we order a beer, and as we wait i hand the pen to my friend but he can't figure it out either. finally the guy comes over the pa, "gentlemen, put your hands together for the lovely so and so...". she starts doing her first of four songs dance routine, twirling around, but i'm still stumped by the pen. our beers arrive, the stripper is still dancing and i'm still trying to figure out the pen. then, BOOM. a huge blast explodes out of the 'pen', a large bright blue flare shoots out of it, hit the ceiling and lands on the stage about a few feet away from the lovely so and so. i'm speechless. there's a huge cloud of smoke, i'm coughing and my hand is throbbing. finally the smoke clears and i see the stripper, stopped dead, looking at me in total shock, my buddy looking at me with wtf on his face and two large bouncers on either side of me. my palm is cut to shit and bleeding, so i say, "i think i need to go wash this up". i get up and head to the can and wash my hand which has a few good size cuts and a burn. moments later my buddy comes in and says, 'we gotta go'. yah no shit. we leave, unharmed amazingly, (except for my hand) and head to another strip club off in the burbs. turns out that someone left a pocket flare on the seat for me to find. i really hope that some guy left it there then sat in the back row to watch some poor twat come in and set it off. funny shit.
all 100% true.