Pain
Out of context: Reply #53
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Oh man, I think I try to just forget about pain now that I think about it.
The most consistently painful thing I have ever gone through, was such a severe case of sunburn, haha.
Went down to visit the biddy at the beach a few summer's ago and I show up, we have a great nite, lots of fun. Good times. I was going to stay down there for a bit, then go to NYC to catch the Pirates play the Yankees. It was a great week trip and I was really looking forward to it, and it started off well.
The next day, we wake up and go meet her friends down at the beach to soak in the sun or whatever. For those of you that do not know, I am stark white. And I had brought SPF-50 or something that other people find ridiculous, but is vital to my survival during the day.
Get my back all did, legs, face, laughing the entire time as it is quite the process. Well genius had shoes on.
45 minutes in, I get woken up as I passed out immediately. "Jer, you're already starting to turn pink, I think we need to get you indoors."
Went back showered up, felt great but I couldn't put my shoes on as the sun burn was bad on the tops of my feet. In fact ... my ankles were swelling up. Pretty soon, I couldn't walk as my ankles swelled up to the size of grapefruits and it became apparent we missed a strip on my stomach as well.
It has been the only time I ever drank to purposely black out. I knew beer wasn't going to cut it, so I requested 4 bottles of Mad Dog.
Did not help I stumbled my way to a party using her as a crutch, which afterward upon sitting down - I was unable to get up. And I had people running back smacking my legs and running away, as they didn't believe that sun burn could be that bad. It was the first time I ever honestly thought about hitting a girl, as I told my one friend if she got within arm reach I was going to hit her like a dude.
Just awful. Had to sleep at the place I was at, as I could not fathom walking back to the biddies which was like a block away.
I end up just sitting there for 2 days as I can't do anything walking related. The girl who had hit my legs a bunch felt so bad she was basically my maid the entire time, haha.
Finally, I couldn't take it and just said I was going to say fuck it, drive home, and just crash there as I felt like an idiot. 8 hours.
When I was driving through Baltimore traffic came out of nowhere and I had to slam on the brakes. Which hurt so fucking bad, but was only sent into the upper stratosphere as a result of my phone flying off my lap and nailing my ankle. So there I am, it's rush hour in Baltimore, music is blaring, I'm shirtless, and tears are shooting out of my eyes like a sprinkler. And I'm just laughing like a maniac.
Finally make it home. Next day I decide fuck it, I'm going to fucking stand and piss like a man damn it, a man! Half-way though the pain gets so bad I have to try and sit on the shower, misjudge fall backwards into the tub pissing all over myself, again laughing like a psycho. After laying there for awhile I just turned on teh water and then attempted to take a shower.
Then I ordered a few cases of beer and actually had to have the guy put them in my fridge for me.
The next nite I go, "Fuck it, I'm on vacation, I'm going out. Just drink until it doesn't hurt." As anyone with pain can attest, trying to get drunk when you are constantly being reminded how you want to chop off your limbs does not lend itself to getting drunk for some reason. An alarming amount of booze later, I call a cab.
Show up where my friends are at, and the bouncer goes, "Holy shit, you smell like a g-ddamn brewery. You're cut off man. Jesus you can barely even walk." To which I point to my ankles, go, "I have sunburn and I'm trying to forget about it." Free shots, and drinks the rest of the nite, haha.
Actually had to take off the next week of work too, and still had to wear tennies and my feet were still too big to get in dress shoes.
2+ weeks of that, in the middle of summer which is my favourite time of the year.
Absolutely fucking awful.
- What does sunburn mean?Jaline
- Haha, for people who lack melanin it's what the sun does to one's skin. I had 3rd Degree burns from the sun in this instance.flavorful
- instance. Much like if I danced in a fire for a bit or something, haha.flavorful
- I think you were being sarcastic though, haha.flavorful
- yes, I really was :)Jaline