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Out of context: Reply #558
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- patrickobrien0
It is as this moment that I would like to reveal the fine art of aspiration. Before you say "Oh, no" let me say that you have not experienced red wine until you've had it in your lungs and then coughed it up into your mouth. For all you red wine lovers out there I invite you to experience this full flavored full-bodied wine experience. It doesn't have to be with red wine, though, any alcohol when introduced into the lungs can only be described as a dazzling sensation unlike any other in the world of drinking. I have had the priviledge of having many fine wines and liquers, beer, and mixed drinks in my lungs over the past year. Some, like beer for instance, can be coughed up without too much trouble and in recent months I've discovered the only way to drink beer is two at a time through a feeding tube (for all you whipper-snappers out there remember this when you get old-it's totally wicked). But I think I got off the subject. OK, one thing you don't want in your lungs is hamburger. You don't want hamburger lungs. Hamburger does not belong in the lungs. But back to the fine art of aspirating. The worst thing I have had in my lungs is a whisky sour. That shit will do you in. So will spicy bloody marys but I love those fuckers and don't plan on cutting them out of my repertoire anytime soon. On Sunday I attempted to drink a vanilla martini. The martini glass, somehow, with a bendy straw in it lost all it's glamour, but that's OK. I attempted to drink it all the same. The key is taking very small sips and before swallowing making damn sure you know where the chilled gin is going to end up. If you are not an experienced drinker like me you would end up with gin in your lungs. Now gin, when introduced to the lungs, if not coughed up immediately, causes vomiting as if your body is telling you, "I dont know what the fuck you think you're doing but here's a reminder not to do it again." But back to the martini I had at the restaurant. I would say I sipped about a third of it. I was very mindful and did not aspirate. My sister asked for a child's to-go cup and when the waitress wasn;t looking poured the martini in the doggy bag for me. She said "well, we'll pour it down your G-tube with your meds later" and smiled. We never did pour the martini down my feeding tube. That will be a future experiment. Well, I should wrap it up now. I called my new friend Laura mid shower with these words in my head and I'm sure she would appreciate me letting her go put some warm clothes on.
Happy drinking,
POB