curb your enthousiasm
Out of context: Reply #51
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- Jaline0
KRAZEE: (takes out a piece of paper) I'm 'a see what you got. Check this shit out. It's called, "I'm Comin' To Get Ya."
LARRY: "I'm Comin' To Get Ya." ... OK.
KRAZEE: ... Right. (reading) "So you think you gonna cross me, and mess with my shit? Openin' your fuckin' trap, and flappin' your lip? Don't fuck with me nigga, or you gonna get dropped. I'll snap off your neck, with a crackle & pop."
LARRY: (eyes widen) Oh, I like the Rice Krispies thing! Yeah!
KRAZEE: You got that shit.
LARRY: Yeah, yeah, the crackle & pop! Of course!
KRAZEE: Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah! ... "If you say anything, you'll beg me to die, 'cuz I'll make you suck my dick, then I'll nut in your eye. I'll stomp on your world as if my name was Godzilla. I'm comin' for you motha-fucka, I'm your Krazee-Eyez Killa." You know? And I'm 'a be like this, in the video, like... (crossing his eyes) Y'know wha' I mean?
LARRY: (pauses, nodding) ... I like it. (thoughtful) ... I got one, tiny, little comment.
KRAZEE: What? What, what?
LARRY: I would lose the "motha-fucka" at the end. 'Cause you already said "fuck" once. You don't need two fucks. You already got the one fuck. I would change the "mothafucka" to "bitch". Because the bitch...
KRAZEE: (reciting lyrics to himself) "...I'm coming for you bitch..."
LARRY: ... Yes, because "bitch" is a word that you would use to somebody who you don't really -- who you disrespect. Right?
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KRAZEE: You want a tour? Come on, motha-fucka, come on! (grabs him around the shoulder) Yeah, that's right, come on! Yeah, Larry-fuckin'-David!
They start the house tour.
[Dining Room]
KRAZEE: OK, yeah. See this shit? This is the dinin' room, you know?
LARRY: Ahh. This is where you eat.
KRAZEE: Yeah, you do your dinin' in here, 'n shit.
LARRY: Uh-huh.
KRAZEE: You got some uh -- you got a table. A dining room table.
LARRY: Yeah.
KRAZEE: You got some uh -- chairs 'n shit, know 'mean?
LARRY: Uh-huh.
KRAZEE: You got some lamps 'n shit.
[Hallway]
KRAZEE: You got the floor. You know wha' I mean? It's made outta, umm... you know, some floor shit. You know wha'm sayin'?
LARRY: Yeah, that's floor shit.
KRAZEE: You got some steps right here.
LARRY: Steps.
KRAZEE: You got four of these mothafuckas. I wanted three, but I was like, four is better.
LARRY: Four steps.
KRAZEE: You know wha' I mean?
LARRY: Uh-huh.
[Bedroom]
Krazee and Larry are in the hallway.
KRAZEE: You got a door here...
LARRY: Yeah.
KRAZEE: ... and a door there...
LARRY: Uh-huh.
KRAZEE: You know, we got rooms all over this moth-a-fuck-a... You know wha' mean?
LARRY: Sure.
They enter the bedroom.
KRAZEE: Yo. Check it. You like this shit? The Oriental room... 'n shit. (gestures toward the bed) All the shit goes down right there.
LARRY: That's a lot smaller than I would have thought.
KRAZEE: It's -- maybe I'll get -- I WILL get a bigger bed, you know wha'm sayin'? Get three or four mothafuckas in there!
LARRY: Yeah!
KRAZEE: You know wha'm sayin'? I'll have a whole harem of mothafuckas!
LARRY: You gotta have three or four mothafuckas in there!
KRAZEE: See, you a pimp! You a mothafuckin' pimp, ain't you?
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KRAZEE: What the fuck-a what the fuck? Motha-fucka what the fuck?
LARRY: What, Krazee-Eyez?
KRAZEE: Hey, Wanda fuckin' left me, man! What the fuck d'you say?
LARRY: I didn't say anything!
KRAZEE: I know you said something mothafucka!
LARRY: No! Swear to God!
KRAZEE: You said something mothafucka! I know you --
LARRY: No! I didn't say anything! Krazee-Eyez... no...
KRAZEE: Yes you did mothafucka!
LARRY: I -- I didn't say anything!
KRAZEE: You told, didn't you?
LARRY: No! I swear to God!
KRAZEE: I thought we were cool-de-la, man!
LARRY: I'm cool-de-la!
KRAZEE: We ain't cool-de-la?
LARRY: No, we are cool-de-la!
KRAZEE: (disgusted) Aw fuck, get my jacket. Get my mothafuckin' jacket.
LARRY: Krazee-Eyez, I really...
KRAZEE: GET my motha... (pause) Don't make me come up there.
Larry nods and walks to the bedroom.
KRAZEE: ... (looking at Cheryl) You fine, you know that?
Larry comes back with the jacket.
LARRY: Kraze.
Larry throws it down to him.
KRAZEE: What? ... How you gonna throw me the f -- ... How you gonna throw the jacket at me, mothafucka? How you gonna throw the jacket at me? You ain't got no etiquette, mothafucka. I know -- man...
LARRY: Krazee-Eyez, I...
KRAZEE: I love that girl, man!
LARRY: I'm sorry.
CHERYL: Well, you didn't act like it.
LARRY: What? Shh...
CHERYL: He doesn't treat her --
KRAZEE: You don't know how... you don't know.
CHERYL: That's not how you treat somebody you love.
LARRY: Krazee-Eyez, don't pay any attention to her. (makes drinking gesture)
CHERYL: Listen. That's not how you treat somebody you love.
Krazee-Eyez turns to leave.
KRAZEE: I thought you were my nigga. You ain't my nigga.
LARRY: I'm your nigger!
KRAZEE: You ain't shit.