Kuz is back!!
Out of context: Reply #53
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The email I sent para about drifting into Pashtun tribal areas prolly the most exciting story. Kinda put the fear of Mohammed in us, so most of the rest of the stuff was “safe”. Ummms, I was on a Bus ride from Chitral to Gilgit crossing one of the highest mountain passes in the world (Shandor pass, awesome awesome sight). That’s going from the Northwest Frontier Province (bordering Afghanistan and where the yankiss say bin Laden and Talebn peeps may well be on the hideout – though lets not think the people were zealots; they were the most nicest bunch of folks inviting us to their homes ever!) to the old kingdom of Kashmir on the Pakistani side. Which was fascinating cos through the journey we musta crossed 10 different language groups, and I was like “wow!”. Anyway, there was a big old fashion landslide, which made me think “shit! Nature is powerful!”. Cos these huge massive boulders the size of double decker busses had come tumbling down the mountains in their hundreds and taken out a giant massive bridge.. So the bus stopped on one side of the road, and infront of us a treacherous obstacle course to the other side. Which was fun to cross with all our luggage. But poor Chitrali villagers trying to return home with their bags of sugar and floor had to go across there too, and they were feeble old men and women with children and looked so depressed at the sight of their only road connecting them to the outside world being cut down. Made me sad too. We helped them across with some agility and wow that was fucking mad! Took like an hour to get across (I was slowed down by the old man and little boy I was helping, see how nice and special I am!). Was waiting forever for a bus (4 hours) to take us on from the other side. Was well hungry but all these poor villages had in way of food was Chick Peas, Chick Peas, and erm, Chick Pease. Could nae even swallow that crap. So we discovered an orchard of wild fruits, mulberries, and peaches, and plums! And we drank from the fresh mountain streams. And it was well hot! (mid 40s). Oh and then we went onto Gilgit. Which, after conversation with locals, turned out to be in a state of Marshall Law. Which we were not aware of. Apparently Sunni’s were murdering Shias (as they do) and there was a curfew. OK well then I remembered that a second (or third?) cousin of mine, who worked in the Pakistani Anti-Terrorism squad had been so kind as to pack the choicest pakistani hasheesh and opium from Peshawar onto my person. Which was burning a whole in my pockets (yes pockets! Not bags, pockets!). But thankfully the army and police checkpoints that we encountered every 200 meters were too stupid to check my pockets. Oh they checked my bags (note: they checked my bags, and only my bags – they were ever so polite to my nice white comrade in his “I am a foreign tourist outfit look). But they were too stupid to check my pockets. Man I was bricking it, especially with the two armed pigs on the bus. Not that I was THAT scared, cos I knew these guys were corrupt as fuck and I’d slip am a few rupees and get away with owt. But then when I got off at Gilgit town, it was AFTER curfew (8pm is curfew), and all these army men were patrolling the streets with mounted artillery on their jeeps and they WERE checking pockets of every fucker wandering the streets. I thought SHIT! But asked my Bus driver the directions of my hotel, and snuck passed all the army men and got there. And then when I did bump into an army man I was all like “hey, umm I’m a tourist! And innocent harmless tourist! Just going to my hotel!” and the boy was more than polite and helpful and showed us the way.
I also tried to cross into Indian occupied Kashmir on the Muzaffrabad-Srinigar bus link, but wasn’t allowed on for not being Kashmiri. Fuckers. Had to go all the way back down to Lahore (2 day journey!) and cross Wagah into Atari and then catch a train from Amritsar. That was fun. Ah Indian Occupied Kashmir. That’s more stories. More of the same really.
Sorry if that was long winded and boring. You did ask!
xxxx