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Out of context: Reply #17857
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- kelpie0
A friend of mine just posted a bunch of scans from old school photographs on the web; a few of those of us who have kept in touch blown up and cropped into separate shots. I'm in there in one and its completely thrown me. I was bullied quite badly at school up till I was about 16; used to get the crap kicked out of me quite regularly, teased fairly brutally, I was an easy target to be honest, very very small school and I was a skinny kid who was bad at sports etc.
It made me utterly miserable right through my childhood, nowhere to hide from it in the village I grew up in and it scarred me badly. I can count good memories from then on the fingers of one hand. Soon as I left school I moved away and systematically rebuilt myself, learned all the social things that other people learned gradually in a short period of time and pushed all the old crap away as far as possible to try to find a happy, normal life. I did it pretty well too, you're not likely to find a more confident person walking about these days. It took a long time to get over a lot of the stuff though and now I feel literally like a different person. I don't even keep memories of my childhood much; it always surprises people how little I can remember when they start to do the nostalgia thing.
Any way, I saw this picture of myself then and it made me feel very strange - almost didn't register that I was looking at me but I just immediately felt very sad, I could read all the bad times into my wee face but it felt like I was looking at some young relative and felt sad FOR them, rather than at me. Its kind of a dull ache in my belly just now. I'm working on a massive pitch just now trying to reorganise a companies myriad content requirements into something user friendly and I can't think about anything else.
Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest as my best pal is away and I figure I may as well bury it in here, bye ;P
- I am with youDr_Rand
- which has no value, unfortunatelyDr_Rand
- that was a great blog entry, thoughDr_Rand
- thanks // surprisingly it does // thanks againkelpie
- amen brother.canuck
- that was actually really sincere and though i don't know what you went through i was picked on a lot in school as well...7point34
- so i know the need to push it away and move on emotionally. i imagine i would have reacted the same.7point34
- yeah weird. its subsiding now, I suspect it'll come out while I'm next drunk with a girl ;)kelpie
- *gives kelpie a wedgie and pushes him into the mudGreedoLives
- hahalolkelpie
- you clever devil! show them the tortured sensitive side then flip them over and fuck the pain away7point34
- I've had my fair share of wedgies.canuck
- You're right, this was a nice read. I feel the same way :)Jaline
- nicely did, kelpie. nicely did.7point34
- result xkelpie
- you never forget a really bad postie.skt
- it is not easy being black!
;)vrmbr - more reasons to love the kelpiesputnik2
- my heart cries out for poor little kelpie's inner child...paraselene
- ...and the monster left in his placekelpie
- "good shit"Dr_Rand
- hi sputnik, how's motherhood?Dr_Rand
- I can relate to 90% of that.creative-
- Awesome post. You have come a long way, and you have brought that little fellow with you.MrOneHundred