Turns out I'm dating a Pro...

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  • palimpsest9

  • catpower0

    • for some reason, i can't post text anymore. cool. tl;dr... i put it in and "pumped" exactly one time... told her "i'm good" which offended her wildly.catpower
    • she curled up at the top of the bed, offended, as I went to put my clothes on. she was like "seriously, what the f*ck?"catpower
    • i don't really know what to say about all this, except it's been a new theme. i've been about to hook up with several girls and leave just as things heat up.catpower
    • i could go on, but this is a new pattern—intentionall... denying myself and women. perhaps it's jadedness... or just a new fucked up chapter. happy v-day!catpower
    • You really are an odd individual.Continuity
    • Sounds like a lot of uninteresting drama around not being able to connect with or pleasure womem.cannonball1978
    • cool story bro...BusterBoy
  • _niko16

    I'll finish it for you, we yada yada sexed, lights came on and now
    it turns out I'm dating a bro.

  • Akagiyama3

    • yep, not exactly what i would be coming onto a public forum to admit.. or be doing in the first place.. i was single for 6 years and never considered it onceautoflavour
    • no shade, people do what they do.. just not my speed at allautoflavour
    • that look down, lolcherub
  • catpower0

    There are a couple of legal brothels about 60 miles out of Vegas. I decided to rent a car and head into the desert at dusk. I've never experienced a desert sunset, but it was majestic. A timelapse of my journey would have been poetic.

    The glow of Vegas gave way to the cosmic wonder of the desert. Then, the glowing darkness was overtaken by a sad series of neon lights, showing ultra-campy silhouettes of "showgirl" signs and arrows pointing to a hot pink door. Subtle as a bullhorn.

    As I stepped inside, a madam welcomed me and swiftly led me on a tour. "We conduct weekly health tests on our staff," she assured me as she swung open the door to one of the themed rental rooms—a (very rundown) Greek-themed chamber adorned with columns and Papyrus writing on the walls. Fucking Papyrus.

    Anyway, she took me through their habitrail of sadness and to the bar where the girls, one by one, would come up and introduce themselves.

    Not surprisingly, I found it really easy to talk to them. I'm always horny, but I'm not thirsty. There is a difference. As a result, our conversations flowed in a genuinely funny and semi-deep way. Eventually, I chose this cute-ish girl, who led me to her room.

  • Ramanisky22

    Happy Valentines Day
    <heart shape hands>

    • for some reason, it's not letting me post the full story, so i guess i'll cut it there for now.catpower
    • Perfect Valentine update.palimpsest
    • so annoying i post the end.catpower
    • *can'tcatpower
    • It's fine.
      We're good.
      Really, no need to go out of your way, we got the picture.
      Continuity
    • "We got the picture."palimpsest
    • :spastic:Continuity
    • Ahh, the legendary Bunny Ranch. Did you get a frequent shopper card, y'know, for later?Akagiyama
  • autoflavour0

    Six months had passed since that bizarre New Year's encounter at the graduate thesis performance. Life had taken some unexpected turns since then, and the dust had settled on many of the questions that plagued the mind of our protagonist.

    In the aftermath of the revelation about his girlfriend's past as an escort, he had taken some time to reflect on the situation. It wasn't easy, but he had managed to find some clarity amidst the chaos. The initial shock and anger had given way to a more profound understanding of her journey and the complexities that led her down that path.

    During those six months, they had remained in contact, albeit tentatively. They hadn't completely severed ties, unable to ignore the undeniable connection they shared. Conversations between them often veered from heated arguments to heartfelt discussions about their pasts, their desires, and the possibilities for their future together.

    The protagonist had also taken the opportunity to delve into his own emotions and thoughts. He questioned his own reactions to the revelation, examining whether his judgments and expectations were fair or realistic. He found himself in a moral dilemma, torn between the societal norms he had grown up with and the love he felt for this complicated woman.

    As time passed, they both realized that their relationship was far from ordinary. It was a rollercoaster ride filled with passion, heated arguments, and a deep sense of connection that defied logic. They were drawn to each other like magnets, unable to resist the magnetic pull, even as they navigated the turbulent waters of their past and present.

    One of the significant changes during these six months was their communication. They began to communicate more openly and honestly, trying to understand each other's perspectives without judgment. It was a slow and challenging process, but it allowed them to bridge some of the gaps that had initially separated them.

    The protagonist's friends and family had varying reactions to the situation. Some urged him to move on, citing the potential complications and uncertainties of a relationship with someone from such a different background. Others, more understanding and empathetic, encouraged him to follow his heart and explore the connection he felt.

    One evening, as the protagonist sat on the porch of his cabin, watching the sunset, he received a call from his girlfriend. They had spoken earlier in the day, but there was something different in her voice this time. She sounded vulnerable, as if she had finally decided to let her guard down.

    "Can we talk, really talk?" she asked.

    "Of course," he replied, his heart racing with anticipation.

    Over the course of the next few hours, they laid bare their souls, sharing their deepest fears, regrets, and desires. It was an emotional conversation that left them both exhausted but strangely invigorated. They had never been this honest with each other before.

    As dawn broke, they reached a mutual understanding. They acknowledged that their relationship was far from conventional and that it would be filled with challenges. But they also realized that they had something unique, something worth fighting for.

    They decided to give their relationship another chance, not because it was easy or socially acceptable, but because they believed in the connection they shared. They vowed to face the world together, hand in hand, unapologetically.

    Six months later, as they stood in front of their closest friends and family, exchanging vows at a small, intimate ceremony in the cabin's backyard, they knew that their love story was far from ordinary. It was a story of two people from different worlds, brought together by fate, and determined to defy the odds.

    Their journey was not without its challenges, but it was also filled with moments of profound love, understanding, and growth. They had learned that love could transcend societal expectations and judgments. It was a powerful force that could conquer even the most formidable obstacles.

    As they sealed their vows with a kiss, they looked into each other's eyes, knowing that their love story would continue to be a rollercoaster ride, but it was a ride they were willing to take together. In that moment, they embraced their uniqueness, celebrating the love that had blossomed against all odds.

    And so, six months later, they embarked on a new chapter in their lives, ready to face whatever challenges and adventures lay ahead. Their love was a testament to the idea that sometimes, the most unexpected connections could be the most profound and beautiful.

  • Krassy2

    catpower, it's been more than a year. updates please?

  • CyBrainX0

    I miss this.
    Are there any updates?

    • Someone should dump his posts into ChatGPT and get it to spit out more chapters for us.noneck
    • Good idea.
      It's not like we ever cared if those events really happened.
      CyBrainX
    • It read like a late-night "Skinamax" movie, and I was here for it.shellie
  • crazyprick1

    Waiting for "Turns out I have gonorrhea" thread.

    • 'Turns out I have syphilis, chlamydia, and seven kids I never knew I had ... 'Continuity
    • 'Turns out she blames me for her perforated rectum ... 'Continuity
  • Krassy4

    catpower, are you 2 back together yet?

    • Oh no, Krassy. Don't open that can of worms again!Continuity
    • LOL!oey_oey
    • :D
      season 2 in the works?
      Krassy
    • Rather, they're working on the prequelOBBTKN
    • I can't wait for this on Netflix.CyBrainX
  • Continuity6

    This is just about the weirdest thread on QBN.

    And not in a good way.

    At all.

    • What a ride though, huh? Sometimes you just gotta take a chance in people!Ianbolton
    • it's a love storyBeeswax
    • A better love story than Twilight.Akagiyama
  • catpower2

    Update: we officially broke up.

    The last time we were together sexually was so bad. God. I went to pick her up to get some food, but instead, she answered the door half-naked and put an industrial-strength blunt in my mouth. I have no idea what the fuck was in that thing, but it took us both out. We fucked, but we passed out without finishing.

    Cut to the middle of the night, and I heard the shower running and gagging sounds. I stumbled into the bathroom, and she was throwing up on the shower floor. It was scary.

    I jumped in and saw that she was conscious but in rough shape. Thankfully, it wasn't something more severe like an overdose or something — probably just the combo of weed and alcohol — but it was such a heightened moment. "I have to get out of this chaos."

    After that, I started limiting contact and faking business trips to create separation between us. Variations of "I've just been so busy" became my default text. Silence is a weird thing. On the one hand, it can cause people to drift, which was my plan. On the other, it can become a repository for all emotions. Silence makes the heart grow fonder... or enraged, in her case.

    At this point, we last spoke about three months ago. In my mind, I had thoroughly moved on. A couple of days ago, though, I got a wall of texts at 3 in the morning with her claiming all kinds of craziness — lots of "how dare you..." energy. It was a lot.

    I checked out her "professional" page and saw she's still active on the platform. My first thought was to send her a link to her profile as my response, but I knew that'd lead to a full-blown meltdown.

    Instead, I apologized for my lack of communication and said I needed to be single. This led to a slew of threats, which put me in a weird place. Too much to get into now, but I've made it to the other side.

    It's funny because, through all this chaos, I can still see the girl I actually like below it all. It's just so buried. Amid all her crazy texts, she was still cracking jokes like "I need you... you're giving my vag blue lips," which is hilarious. But it had to end. And it did. Given all the terrible ways this could have ended, I'm just glad it's over.

    Repeat: I'm just glad it's over.

    • Send her the book: Trauma by Paul Conti. And get a copy for yourself too.shapesalad
    • If you thought you could make her drift away from you with silence, you're a bit naive. Speaking from experience, you have to be blunt as fuckIanbolton
    • You dumped her because she greened out and barfed? Shit man. Were you even in love?nb
    • @nb... nah man, I'm cool with vomit. It was part of a larger set of events. Chaos at every turn.catpower
    • @lanbolton... you're so right. gotta be like this: https://www.youtube.…catpower
    • I'm kind of happy you survived this trip. To me, this sounds like a happy-ending.

      All the best to you!
      SimonFFM
    • it had to end this way. anything else would have been a disappointment. burn fast burn bright burn outhans_glib
  • nb3

    I had my heart set on y’all finding a way to make it work and living happily ever after

  • Akagiyama2

  • fooler8

    So she's available?

  • crazyprick2

    I'm glad it's over as well.

  • pablo281
    • I knew he was lyingdrgs
    • ^lolscruffics
    • Warning: That site only lets you make four or five images before you have to subscribe for at least $9/month.CyBrainX
  • catpower5

    Since we've come this far, I might as well share a bit of craziness (that all makes sense now). On my mother's grave, I swear all of this is true. Writing it out is actually helping me wrap my head around it. It's been a lot to take.

    One night we went out, and I kept noticing that she was acting a little off. We went from one place to the next, getting progressively drunker. As the night came to an end, I went up to settle the bill, and she disappeared. I texted and called — nothing. I respect the art of an Irish Exit, but this was just bizarre. I decided to peek into the women's restroom and saw her boots under the door. Ah, got it. It can happen to the best of us.

    I'm a grown-ass man. Bathroom issues are fine. Take your time. I'll get you home — no big deal. I went to wait on the street.

    Five minutes later, she popped out as though nothing was odd. I tried to make her feel calm/no shame etc. Out of sympathy, I lied and said that I wasn't feeling great and could use some sleep. I was trying to give her an easy out. Instead, she draped herself on me, bit my ear, and said that she could "cure" me. *cue awkward boner

    The Uber came, and in what seemed like one fluid motion, we got in, closed the door, she pulled her tits were out and unzipped my pants. I had to stop her from going down on me right there. I've worked too hard for my Uber rating to blow it figuratively and literally. Priorities, people. Priorities.

    We get to my place, and she's like, "I want you to fuck me in the shower." *cue awkward boner again

    We undress and start making out in the shower. It was incredibly erotic. Then, without saying a word, she turned her back to me, grabbed my cock, and pushed it in from behind without protection. This was NOT consensual. At the time, I didn't know about her "profession," but it still obviously made me nervous. But my junk is nothing if not persistent.

    It really is amazing what you can look past as a guy. 30 minutes earlier, I thought she had explosive diarrhea, and now I'm clocking in right beside ground zero to put in some of that ancient work.

    After a bit, I pull out, look down, and realize that I have blood all over my junk. What. The. Fuck. My literal thought was, "and this is how you get AIDs." Again, I'm a grown-ass man. Periods are fine. But surely I deserve a heads up. Knowing what I know now, it makes a lot of sense. It's her MO. Do something reprehensible, mask it with god-tier sexual energy, and let the reveal murder your soul.

    We stop, I wash off with the thoroughness of a surgeon, we get dressed, and we go to bed. We're nearly asleep, and all of a sudden, she starts grinding on me aggressively. Blood starts getting on fucking everything. While she's working to recreate the horse scene in the Godfather, I'm debating my options and questioning existence itself. Should I go with it or stop this nonsense. Life is all about choices.

    At this point, I've been borderline assaulted, treated like a tampon, and turned into a human Rorschach Test. She can't get pregnant right now, so I just went with it. I have this mental slide show of images from that night that read more like a UFC highlight reel than a romance novel. Aggressive. Deplorable. Intense. Just ridiculous.

    Perhaps the funniest part was us waking up to this crime scene. I asked her if she wanted to go to a diner. We decontaminated, got dressed, and acted like everything was normal. I have never had more mixed feelings in my life. I remember looking at this whore in the eyes while eating an omelet and wondering what on earth my ex-wife was doing at the same time. Her Saturdays usually started with HGTV, and here I am making small talk with the fourth seal of the apocalypse. "At least she can't get pregnant... at least there's that..."

    • AIDsbabydick
    • I mean, it's a great read and we're all entertained, but going in raw means you're out of your fucking mindbabydick
    • Yeah, I'm never doing that again ever.catpower
    • How was it not consensual? She told you she wanted to fuck you in the shower and you got in the shower with a boner.palimpsest
    • It's borderline, I'll grant you. We had always used protection in the past, even in the shower, and we never talked about it.catpower
    • She just put it in without consulting me, and she knows I've been adamant in the past about protection.catpower
    • I think this was one of the things Julian Assange was accused of by the Swedish woman he dated, unconsensual sex without a condom.yuekit
    • Or rather the sex was consensual, but the lack of condom he didn't get their agreement on.yuekit
    • Rubber in the shower sounds weird to me. Like fucking in the shower with flip-flops on. Guess that's just how I was raised.palimpsest
    • Exactly. The sex was consensual. The lack of condom was not, and she knew it.catpower
    • I'm waiting for some butt activitiesbabydick
    • What a story, Mark.NBQ00
    • How long have you been together exactly?
      Also, this is how you split text into paragraphs
      drgs
    • you just earned your red wings.fooler
    • You writing an erotic novel right? And testing the water on us?pango
    • Also. AIDSpango
    • I hope that you really do have 9 lives!utopian
    • @Pango... all true. Also if this was an erotic novel, I can't imagine who would read this for pleasure?!catpower
    • People... Lol
      https://m.media-amaz…
      pango
    • one more vote for AIDS.CyBrainX
    • Now I understand why you’re puzzled. Reminds me of a girl I once dated who told me she dreamt she stabbed me. I split up.SimonFFM
    • Look at that bitch eating chickenHijoDMaite
    • she's pozzed youBrabo_Brabo
    • TLDRautoflavour
    • Just listened to that "right click, speech", hilarious : ) but you definitely have Aids, byemrAtor
    • Growing up on a council estate makes me feel your vibe man. Sounds like the shit I went through just to get laid.Ianbolton
    • Ah the old "I have to take a huge ghost shit when the bill comes" lolcannonball1978
    • "fourth seal of the apocalypse" - HAHAmstocks
  • BusterBoy4