USA to UK relocation guide
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- raf8
Also, a tip for Americans visiting Ireland:
Never, ever mention there that you're Irish, or part Irish. They know. They assume every American visiting them has Irish ancestry and they don't give a bollix.
You're not Irish, you're a Plastic Paddy to them if you pretend to be.
Conversely, you will gain respect for restraining yourself from mentioning it, especially if your surname is Irish.
- Wow.monospaced
- "so, what do you do?" another favourite american conversation starter that may not go down well.kingsteven
- I like thati_was
- Vulgar Americansi_was
- lol, my girlfriends family is this exact type of person.section_014
- Is Conan moving? I always liked his jokes.SimonFFM
- Weird, when I go to Italy they treat me like I'm part of the gang. I even got free healthcare with someone else's ID.zarkonite
- @zarkonite - as an irish american?Nairn
- hehe I meant as a neo-italian. It's weird to me that the irish would reject their diaspora like that.zarkonite
- They're not rejecting them, they just messin'raf
- utopian6
Brexit = Fucked!
- DaveO4
A few notes form an Englishman abroad – been in New York for ten years now and am feeling quite decoupled from England, for better or worse.
Here goes:
If you are moving there from New York be prepared to get paid phenomenally less for what you do, but have a cheaper cost of living in general.
Don't ask British people if they know the only British person you know. I have once met a John Smith from Manchester, but i can almost guarantee its not the same one that you once met.
Be more of a 'Jerry Seinfeld' American (sarcastic) than a 'Jerry Springer' American (earnest). Brits love dry humor, and it will get you VERY fucking far.
The C word is not quite as taboo in the UK – go nuts with it, but temper your useage when you return home to the states.
USE THE EU PROXIMITY. I lived in the UK for 28 years and never once appreciated how much was on the doorstep. Within three hours you can either be in Norway, Italy or morocco. Its a gift i never used and i regret it now I'm n New York.
Go to Scotland. It fucks.
Learn how to cook a roast and put your own spin on it. You will make MANY friends through hosting on cold rainy Sundays.
Don't watch Eastenders. It's trash.
Get a car, because trains are blindingly expensive for what they are and they are rarely on time.
Go to cities like Oxford, Cambridge, Bristol, York. They will blow your mind by how beautiful they are.
Watch Little Britain – it contains the best index of British stereotypes and humor for a quick crash course.
Be prepared that everyone will tell you that you can't do something. People in the UK love to be naysayers. Use your American sense of blind optimism to get things done and prove them wrong.
Read the FT and fuck the rest. British newspapers are so obviously political and full of tabloid trash or subjective opinion pieces.
Get used to cold damp winters and summers without AC.
Enjoy drinking outside on the endless summer evenings that stretch on way past 10pm with the sun still lighting up the horizon.
Say hello to the white cliffs for me. I do miss it from time to time.
- Be one of the GOAT comedians not a washed up trash TV host who does insurance ads now. Yeah ok done!nb
- :)nb
- Little Britain is hilarious. I was told not to watch Corrie or Eastenders and I didn't.cherub
- But never try to combine the buying a car thing with driving into the centre of Oxford. I'm not making that mistake for a third time.webazoot
- monoboy2
Welcome to Blighty (UK).
When you cross the border to the nice part – Scotland, be prepared to adjust your ear to the accent. It'll feel like a different language at first. As do other parts of England.
They actually speak a different language in North Wales (Welsh) and remote parts of Scotland (Gaelic).
Top tip, don't mix us up. We all hate each other. Calling a Scotsman English is like calling them a peado. Unless they're unionist ultras.
Which brings me nicely on to sectarianism. Avoid mentioning Irish heritage to anyone in Glasgow or Belfast. It's not worth it.
The number one universal thing you must learn is pub etiquette. Buying rounds is how we do it. Everyone in the social group must buy a round of drinks. Even if there's 20 of you. You will then have to drink 20 drinks of high strength alcohol in one evening.
Stopping to vomit, fight, or to knob some tart (lady of loose morals) in the bogs (toilet) is perfectly acceptable. Just get tested afterwards.
Lastly, we think we're the most important, most advanced country in the western world. But nothing works.
- Oh, and the school you went to as a child dictates your social status and job prospects entirely. Ability isn't a factor at all.monoboy
- And bring some of that orange powdered stuff from Texas you put on BBQ meats. It's witchcraft.monoboy
- what is it about the scots and orange chemicals?hans_glib
- An American Werewolf in London wasn't fiction btw.monoboy
- I'm afraid I have but the one upvote.Nairn
- In LDN you can strategically buy rounds, missing out outliers and uninvolveds. It's not correct, of course, but Southerners can be totally tight shit smears.Nairn
- In general, the farther north you go, the harder the accents are, at least for this bloody Yank.CyBrainX
- hmmm, south western and Brummie accents can be quite thick. The UK is a heavily regionalised place (as Kingsteven mentioned above)Nairn
- you can have accents that are entirely different across a mere few tens of miles - between Manchester/Liverpool it gets really crazyNairn
- zaq-1
maybe UK is not the best place to relocate afterwards:
"
The current UK government is a nationalist, ideology driven mess highly akin to the Trump movement. The party purged a substantial number of their more moderate membership and attempted to remove the UK parliament from equal footing with the executive and turn it into a lower chamber with no mandate to do so from the electorate.They now have a massive majority, around 5 versions of Fox News gifting them widespread support and the country is on it's knees with a botched covid response. Things are bad in America - but they are also extremely bad in the UK.
Right wing Populism is laying waste to established democracies. It's gotten to the point now that England's sad slow march into idiocy is going to cost them the Union. Scotland looking very likely to leave and probably pretty imminently and Northern Ireland seems to be aligning more with Ireland these days so it's all gone a bit tits up.
"- "5 versions of Fox News"
Where was this published?webazoot - Just move to somewhere lovely like Portugal. UK as of 31 Dec 2020 will be effectively a bigger pile of shite than it is currently.shapesalad
- No way Scotland will leave. Had it chance in 2014 and shat it. Current SNP leadership more interested in tranny rights than independence.Doris_McSquirter
- if only these things were unique to the UK in the European context. We're not that diverged from France and Spain, certainly, other EU members too.Nairn
- nngh.. 'France and Italy' even.Nairn
- I think Germany is overdue a populist jolting schism - there's a certain dutiful, befeared pragmatism in the population that's holding it back. For now.Nairn
- Which is to say, where the US leads, the UK follows, and Europe too in turn.Nairn
- This is pretty accurate aside from "5 Fox News" - our media is bad but even at its worst it rarely gets that bad aside from the The Sun and Daily Mail.fadein11
- @doris - 'No way Scotland will leave'.
May I ask where you're from, or if you've spent any practical amount of time in Scotland?Nairn - Am Scottish neebs.Doris_McSquirter
- After Brexit there's no way will major consitutional change be decided by a referendum in the UK.Doris_McSquirter
- Current SNP leadership arent really into Indie anyhow. And there are big scandals in the offing for Nilkla & co...Doris_McSquirter
- Dunno, man - I'm from a non-independence background and i see it differently. I don't live there, so could be massively mistaken. Every time I go there though?Nairn
- And, if you're Scottish and, presumably, an old-timer QBNer - who the fuck are you? lol
DIGITAL PASSPORTS, NOW!Nairn - Mainly relating to the Salmond inquiry (which started today) but also re SNP financies. Money 'ringfenced' for IndieRef2 has been spent by "Mr" Sturgeon.Doris_McSquirter
- They should have thrown Salmond under the bus years ago.kingsteven
- "5 versions of Fox News"
- Nairn1
I'm still trying to get my head around how Wales could be better than Texas.
- Fax_Benson1
You don't need to tip everybody - just for table service, which you generally don't get in bars and pubs. Actually, I wonder whether that may change now with covid. Outdoor table service is going to be a thing.
- tipping at bars is optional but most decent drinking folks do it...kingsteven
- Tipping at bars is optional? As in pubs or clubs? Literally never tip unless you're eating a meal lol.kalkal
- no tip jar in your local? its optional, always tip good service especially on a round...kingsteven
- avoid implying that people aren't decent, or proper drinking folk, because they don't adhere to a custom that doesn't exist in most parts of the countryFax_Benson
- @Fax Benson: here in the states they've started something called "curbside" for picking up orders. You pop the boot and wait in the car. They put your order incherub
- That's not for pubs of course. But yeah I guess they'll do outdoor table service.cherub
- After noticing kalkal was from derby I asked one of my mates from derby and it turns out tipping in belfast was a culture shock...kingsteven
- cherub0
I figured out why the British love drinking tea so much. I mean, besides it being delicious, it was once a luxury that could only be afforded by the upper class.
- Hmm, not sure about that - beer and wine have been drunk in Northern Europe by commoners for at least a thousand years.Nairn
- the brits have always loved any foreign comestibles - tea, coffee, wine, lager, curry, basil, pineapple, sugar, pepper, etc etc.hans_glib
- if you go to northern scotland, you can see why - pre funny forinn food it was all turnip, swede, grass....hans_glib
- were those foreign foods traditionally more expensive?cherub
- Wales had leeks as their native vegetable and leeks make me wretch lol.cherub
- yeah, maybe best not to say that in waleshans_glib
- I wouldn't, but they take rugby more seriously than any other thing. I tried to buy tix for judgement day then coronavirus struck.cherub
- It was also brought to Britain from the portuguese... from Catherine of Braganzashapesalad
- fuck's sake - whe I read this this morning, i absolutely read 'booze' not tea. Wtf?Nairn
- fadein113
If you get homesick, just visit Stratford upon Avon, fully of yanks any time of year.
- shapesalad0
What you looking at = I’m about to kick you in the head.
Bain = baby.
Your kid = your brother.
10 foot = back alley behind row houses.
Gives a croggy = allow one a ride along side you on your bicycle.
Please may I have... = Give me a....
Tar = Please / thank you
- Bairn
Ta
just to be pedanticMrT - That's not being pedantic.Nairn
- these are all regional slangkingsteven
- bairn is gaelic/norse - it's child in irish too. they wouldn't have a clue what yer talking about south of the pennines...kingsteven
- The more I look at this the wronger it is. Bairn = kid. Wean = baby.
"I'm about to kick your head in"
"Giz a.." not that I agree with that eitherNairn - Also, in Barmanthorpe, 'croggy' = blowjobNairn
- Yikes.MrT
- Stonking: very good.CyBrainX
- Bairn
- kalkal1
If we're talking about mixing in btw, drop the whole shire thing. I mean like when you might say Derbyshire or Nottinghamhshire. This isn't lotr, don't pronounce it like "spire". Say it like "sha" - Also Derby isn't like desrtruction derby, it's like darby... so Derbyshire is "Darbysha" - Nottinghamshire is "Nottinghamsha"
- And it's not 'Ed-in-boro', but 'Ed-in-bruh'.
And anyone that pronounces the word niche as 'nitch' gets sparked pronto.monoboy - Em-brahNairn
- C'mon. We aren't savages.
Hullo. Youd've had yer tea.monoboy - Luckily this didn't come up. But if it did, I would FOR SURE have walked right into some shite! lol. Because I didn't know any of this.cherub
- And it's not 'Ed-in-boro', but 'Ed-in-bruh'.
- dyspl0
« Phone numbers and dates are in a different format. Will confuse you at first«
Im not good with numbers to begin with, but the date thing is a struggle. Even after almost 10years in the US I’m still not used to it.
- I'll never understand the MM/DD/YYYY formatkalkal
- did you feel like you were sucked back 200 years in time when you starting hearing the words 'miles', 'pounds' and 'inches'?PonyBoy
- ^it takes me 5 takes to measure anything: 5.8/11inch... WTF?!dyspl
- It's very typical of this country that we still don't use the Metric system.CyBrainX
- zarb0z1
Corrections thusfar (working aft):
nAught=zero; nOught is US&A laziness
aught=the years between 2000-2010 or 1900-1910 except...
zed-aught-six=Z06 instead of...
.30-06=thirty caliber from 1906
fucked off=left; departed; quit
pissed off=passed out from the drink
pissed=drunk
taking the piss=joking; ridiculing
dual carriageway=Motorway (with a solid median)
carriageway=a smaller motorway without a solid median
chav=A Very Specific Type of White Trash Whose Definition Exceeds The Editorial Standards of QBN or Even The Sodding Sun, Four Foxegg.
shattered=stunned
hwyl=goodBYE in Welsh
hylô=hello in Welsh, sometimes with the O dragged on, just like yanks do when being overly friendly or wanting your dosh
bore da=good morning in Welsh
cheers=standard departure AND toast AND IDon'tSeeHowThisIsAnyDifferentFr...
quid=buck; both are informal ("loan me ten bucks"="spot me ten quid")
p=pence/pennies; £2.30 is two pounds, thirty p, or "two and thirty" and in the City Center, "two-thirty"; a post might be 50p.
pants=pants; seriously, wtf: knickers are panties
breeks=pants
tea=1600 daily; 4:00PM; traditionally tea and a digestive, just as likely a Snickers and a Rockstar these days
cuppa=cup of tea
housing options=in this context, Section 8and I'll add a couple:
council house=tenement housing slightly different from Section 8
dosh=petty cash / pocket change / traveling money
match=footie game
test=cricket match
try=rugby touchdown
supporter=paying fan, usually with season tickets
schemer=know-it-all/fake leader. It's because the tarted-up supporter who leads chants at a match is called the schemer
mustard=good, when compared to...
pants=bad, when compared to above
tip=dump (trash/garbage/recycle)
on the dole=taking unemployment benefits
dole queue=unemployment line
faggot=tied up bundle of sticks
dick=steamed cake
pussy=feline felidae
tit=imbecile
cock about=screw around
sod off=fuck off; go away
sodding=fucking (adj., not v.)
shagging=fucking (v., not adj.)I've half a mind to do an entire post of British Vitriol on form to teach tanks onna swear mission.
hard to read some of this though. Surely there's a travel brochure or book or something less childish than this. Some of it's mad.
mad=crazy/silly/stupid
Also, there's a spectacular difference between Hackney/Brackney/Cockney slang and casual terms in, say, Ipswitch or Woking or even the rest of London. Those will be dramatically different from Liverpool or Newcastle.
- Hey, look, QBN limits words that are too long. I Don't See How This Is Any Different From Cheers In American is what I typed.zarb0z
- mad? What's mad about it? You do realize the thread was meant to familiarize yanks with the British system, not teach you lot about your own culture right?cherub
- I couldn't do the 2nd one if I tried.cherub
- Btw good call on the quid=buck thing. I do understand what a quid is. I did not translate into American english correctly.cherub
- The schemer stuff is confusing. I heard supporter a few times and just connected it to being a casual fan of the club. This makes me fear there is a whole...cherub
- lot football culture that I was never even exposed to. My missus hated both rugby/football then coronavirus struck so I never got to go in person, only the pub.cherub
- Which is confusing, the schemer @ the match or the schemer in the office? The chanting bloke is akin to that one Raiders fan (you know what I mean)zarb0z
- And, I think it's mad because you've skipped quite a bit of more basic differences that are more helpful and went right to the "funny"zarb0z
- cherub0
last of the word list.
mingin=stinking, ugly
cow=fat girl
burd=chick, girl
nought=zero
nil=nothing
bang on = right on
prime minister's questions = weekly press conference where Boris has to defend himself in the house of commons
fucked off=pissed off
chips=french fries
crisps=potato chips
ring someone = call someone(on cell phone)
snog=to make out / kiss
shopping trolley = shopping cart / buggy
pram=baby carriage
dual carriageway=highway / interstate
wank(er)= jerk(off)
thick=stupid
chav=white trash
knobhead, bellend=dickhead
shattered=exhausted
gutted=brokenhearted
lush=awesome
cwtch/cutch=snuggle type hug
butt= bud / friendand last but certainly not least, the welsh greeting. It's hard to write but it's something like:
hiya!
but pronounced like high yuuuuand it seems to me like a contraction of the words "hey you". It just means hello, good morning , hi.
- chips = french fries
crisps = potato chips
:)Nairn - Not sure I've heard of 'butt= bud / friend'
.
In Scotland they used (do?) end a lot of sentences with "...but".Nairn - Like "I dunno what am doin, but"
As a pseudo-sassanach kid spending my summers there, it confused the shit out of me.Nairn - Butt is a welsh thing, I heard "alright butt?" on the streets plenty. Coming from America where we hear "bud" alot, and have a beer called "bud light", "butt"cherub
- doesn't sound foreign. They just pronounce the "d" as a "t". There is even a thing in linguistics called drift, it's common to do that even in yr own culture.cherub
- I've spent a fair bit of time in Wales, my Mother in Law is Welsh, my partner is half Welsh, never heard Butt, perhaps it was a local to where you were thing.fadein11
- Ah, apparently it's a Swansea thing. Interesting as my mother in law is from that neck of the woods. I will try it out on her next time :)fadein11
- Wait, you'll try out butt on your mother in law?
/twatNairn - Come to think of it maybe Butt is like micro-slang.. only a handful of ppl are using it but still gets reputation as being used widely. Shouldn't be on the listcherub
- lol nairn, and yes cherub, that's what I said, but it does seem legit.fadein11
- chips = french fries
- cherub0
I was told by my American friends who had traveled abroad, that the uk would be prohibitively expensive. In my experience in southern wales, that for the most part was not true... at least when compared to prices in the US.
There are 4 things that I noticed that were outrageously expensive in the UK. If you can dodge buying these 4 you'll be alright.
(In order of outrageousness)
train tickets
petrol
fags
football ticketsKeep in mind. I'm not a native, so go easy on me. But this is what I noticed.
- I wrote "football tickets" but I meant rugby tickets.cherub
- Train tickets can be cheaper if you buy in advance. Buy on the day though and yeah - outrageously expensive.Nairn
- I imagine you found food more expensive too? I get the impression food in America is super-cheap.Nairn
- Also, your experience in Wales would be different to that of the typical tourist going around London and Edinburgh, neither of which are particularly cheapNairn
- And you've hit upon exactly why I didn't go to London or Edinburgh. My heart was saying go to London! go to Hyde Park! Go see the Scottish coast! But my walletcherub
- was saying Go chill with the sheep in Wales! So I went with the sheep lol.cherub
- Next time, do Edinburgh if you can - it's a very European-feeling city. LDN's a 'global capital' which .. well, has its negatives.Nairn
- Friend of mine who moved to the US some years ago wants to move back to the UK but doesn't see how due to cost of housing here & some US medical debts they havewebazoot
- Rural Wales is certainly cheaper in pubs and for eating out compared to most of the UK.webazoot
- MrT0
Cuppa = cup of tea.
I’ll put the kettle on.
- 2 sugars and 1 milk please.... aka two and a moo :)cherub
- Seems so odd that America does not use tap to pay for debit / credit ....get with the times! ;)Static_Line
- Yes we do. It’s just not adopted by every purveyor yet.monospaced
- Yes many do :) - I also know some retailers have it and do not know they have it... used tap in Philadelphia and the guy at the counter was mind blown!Static_Line
- zarb0z0
While we're on the topic, shall we take a moment to clear up some pronunciation issues you American dolts seem to share a bed with?
row=argument Rhymes with "Ow, this argument hurts my feelings."
short-lived=short LIVE'd. Not "livv'd." Rhymes with five, not livv
premise=an idea
premises=more than one idea, pronounced prem-is-ezz
premises=a location, pronounced prem-is-ess
premises=more than one location, pronounced prem-is-eez
aluminium=al-u-min-eeyum
nuclear=new-clear
primer=priMMer; primer is paint or the thing that goes boomwhat other mispronunciations...?
- cherub0
innit=isn't it
yank=derogatory term for American
pish= some scottish thing I assume it means piss
mon= to cheer for?
nick=steal
cheers= thank you? I hope it means thank you because that's how I was using it for 5 months lol
missus=the wife, girlfriend
GP= General Physician / doctor
NHS=National Health Service. There is no American equivalent to the NHS, yet it is really REALLY important. Reason being, if you get sick while you are visiting the UK you might need to see a GP. You cannot do that until you are registered with the NHS. Therefore I recommend you register with the NHS asap. It's based on where you live, which GP office you will be assigned to.- GP practice, just sayinghans_glib
- or surgery, at a pinchhans_glib
- Thanks for the correction :) Another note about the NHS: the home office is putting a premium on people who are willing to use their medical skills to volunteercherub
- ...for the NHS. So keep that in mind, it looks good on your visa application if you plan to come to the UK to volunteer for the NHS to fight coronavirus.cherub